Out the Window
Master May 2014

An Eloquent Way of Saying, "You're an @$$hole"

Out the Window, on April 3, 2014 at 9:23 AM Posted in Community Conversations 0 51
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To my date twins and those with RSVP deadlines coming up, this is what I came up with to "kindly" let those who haven't RSVP'ed. Feel free to edit, change or suggest anything.

April 3rd, the RSVP date for our wedding is upon us. As of today, we have not yet received your response. If you would kindly let us know if you will be attending, by Friday, April 11th, it would be greatly appreciated. You can reach us with your response in any of the following ways:

- Email:

- Phone:

- Or you can RSVP on our website by selecting the following link:

Additionally, we have been able to extend the hotel's deadline for the group discount rate to Monday, April 7th. If you plan on booking a room for the night, it must be done by this date to take advantage of the discount. Additional hotel information is listed on the invitation or can be found on our website.

(cont)

51 Comments

  • Out the Window
    Master May 2014
    Out the Window ·
    • Flag

    If we do not hear from you by Friday, April 11 we will regretfully assume you will not be attending and we will not be able to accommodate you.

    If you have any questions please contact us.

    Thank you!

    • Reply
  • KTizzle
    Master June 2015
    KTizzle ·
    • Flag

    Sounds polite and firm. Good job!

    • Reply
  • Out the Window
    Master May 2014
    Out the Window ·
    • Flag

    We plan on calling most of these people, but for others, this is what we're sending. What we REALLY wanted to say was something a little different.

    • Reply
  • Shaquaya
    VIP April 2014
    Shaquaya ·
    • Flag

    That is perfect!!!!! I don't understand why people make it so hard to RSVP geez!

    • Reply
  • Jemma
    VIP July 2014
    Jemma ·
    • Flag

    I think you're being very polite and generous to them giving them an extended deadline. I would be tempted to put something like "If you would kindly let us know if you will be attending as a matter of urgency" towards the top, then still keep the bit about "If we do not hear from you by Friday, April 11 we will regretfully assume you will not be attending and we will not be able to accommodate you." lower down - only because if they haven't paid attention to your original deadline and then you give them a new one without first impressing the urgency then they might not pay attention to the new one either. Why do people think the RSVP deadline is negotiable? :-)

    Good luck!

    • Reply
  • Out the Window
    Master May 2014
    Out the Window ·
    • Flag

    I'm EXTENDING my RSVP deadline by a week AND the hotel's group discount deadline. AND you don't even have to send your card back. I'm giving you ALL the options in the world to just say Yes or No. If you can't even respond to this, NO CHRISTMAS CARD TO YOU EVER!

    • Reply
  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
    • Flag

    I'd keep it simple:

    "Last person to RSVP gets seated next to Great-Uncle Carl, and we all know about his chronic halitosis, compulsive butt-scratching, and habit of getting drunk and rambling about conspiracy theories at dinner."

    • Reply
  • rusticbride
    Master May 2014
    rusticbride ·
    • Flag

    HAHAHA! I think what you have sounds great and I second the moving of certain phrases as Jemma described. Just make the point a lot quicker and sooner. Hit them with the hard stuff in the very beginning.

    I'm sorry that some of your guests suck! Enlist the parent on each side of these lists to start contacting on your behalf too. Some people may have lost their invite (that's already happened to me) or they just think a verbal response is enough.

    • Reply
  • Out the Window
    Master May 2014
    Out the Window ·
    • Flag

    Rustic - How's this for hard stuff in the beginning. I open with:

    HEY @$$HOLES!!! WHY YOU NO RSVP?!?!?!?

    • Reply
  • Kate
    Master December 2013
    Kate ·
    • Flag

    This is how it's done people! way to go OTW!

    • Reply
  • Celia Milton
    December 2019
    Celia Milton ·
    • Flag

    I'm with Shannon. Or offer them a seat at the kid table, complete with crayons, drooling, screaming and pitchers of Coke.

    • Reply
  • Aronna
    Master October 2014
    Aronna ·
    • Flag

    Works for me.

    but in truth, if any of your guests are like my mom, she'd still wait until last minute then if she wanted to come she just would.

    when I'm asked to RSVP I always do it as quickly as possible.

    my mom figures that everyone in the world can just do this or that to accommodate her.

    but then, she also kept the Staten Island Ferry waiting for her while she made her final choice on some key chain or something when I was a kid.

    she doesn't really worry how she puts others out.

    • Reply
  • mallory
    VIP May 2014
    mallory ·
    • Flag

    I think that sounds much better than what I would do. I am so over rsvp's. They are due on the 10th so if those puppies aren't in I'm just saying k thanks for being lazy I'm so over it

    • Reply
  • Shannon S.
    Master March 2011
    Shannon S. ·
    • Flag

    You know, you don't even need a Great-Uncle Carl for this to work. Just invent one, and make him the least appealing person ever. Great-Uncle Carl loves birther conspiracies, chews with his mouth open, and after a few drinks likes to take off his pants to expose a pair of stained tighty-whities.

    • Reply
  • M
    Master May 2014
    MizizAngi ·
    • Flag

    Lmao! Good luck! I have only two couples who haven't returned my calls/emails. I'm beyond caring. I have the extra seats so they can show up or not, I don't care. Of course, I don't have to deal with headcounts to the venue so I'm a bit more flexible.

    • Reply
  • LavenderJoy
    Master September 2014
    LavenderJoy ·
    • Flag

    LOVE IT!!!!

    • Reply
  • Mama Lea
    Expert May 2014
    Mama Lea ·
    • Flag

    Sounds great to me Smiley smile

    • Reply
  • LillyBride
    VIP May 2014
    LillyBride ·
    • Flag

    I don't know, when Celia suggested the kids' table with pitchers of coke I pictured the white powdery stuff. I think that's a good threat; coked-up kids would be NO FUN to deal with! Smiley winking

    • Reply
  • ArborDay
    VIP April 2014
    ArborDay ·
    • Flag

    I'm just calling everyone and being like ummm so do you plan on eating drinking and dancing at my wedding, or sitting home bummed you're missing out?! Smiley smile Deadline was April 1st... I'm waiting on over 30 people. haha

    • Reply
  • desirae
    Devoted February 2016
    desirae ·
    • Flag

    Perfect!

    • Reply

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