Savvy July 2017

Advice on family holiday party!!

Mrs.7/29/17, on November 27, 2017 at 2:40 PM Posted in Married Life

So I need some help!! My husband I were both single parents when we got married this summer. I knew he always had a big (20-30) family holiday party at the beginning of December. And I was on board. Until two things -- one, we are closing on the sale of my house and moving all my furniture and stuff into his smallish home 10 days before the party. . And two, his sister insisting that we still host the

Party at our home even though we are frantically moving and she expects me to make me a long list of dishes she picked out to serve. Oh and hubby has told me that everyone leaves and we will end up cleaning up on our own. We have two loveable kids, one that is slothlike teenage girl and one 1st grader with ADHD/spd. We both work full time and are already exhausted. My MOH tells me that whatever precedent gets will probably be how it goes from now on. Tips? Advice? Thanks for letting me vent.



  • Keisha
    Master September 2018
    Keisha ·

    Say no you can't this year and move on. It your house and if both of you agree this is too much no one can make you host anything

  • B
    Expert July 2017
    Becky ·

    "I'm sorry, SIL, it's just not going to happen this year. If there is going to be a party, it will have to be hosted somewhere else, otherwise, I guess the party's off."

    The best piece of advice on here: "No" is a complete sentence.

  • LillyBean17
    Master October 2017
    LillyBean17 ·

    I agree with the simple "No." People need to understand they aren't owed explanations. If you can't do it, you can't do it. No shame in keeping your sanity as much as you can.

  • EngineerInLove
    VIP September 2018
    EngineerInLove ·

    So she wants you to host the party, cook dishes she decided on, AND clean up afterwards?

    It's one thing if you and FH decide to take this on, but don't let her make you host it. If your closing dates are moved at all you're SOL, and I can't think of ANYONE that moved into a house and was ready to host a huge party a week and a half later.

  • Leila
    Super October 2017
    Leila ·

    No no no!!!

  • Mrs.7/29/17
    Savvy July 2017
    Mrs.7/29/17 ·

    Sigh. I KNOW that I should just say no and let things fall as they may. I have found a church that we can meet in instead and now I'm hoping that works out for H and his side of the family. I basically told my side not to come, because I am thinking about not going, myself. Just seems like a lot of hassle and I need to get my house we are selling all cleaned up and emptied out. But I don't want to be unsupportive to my hubby. This is a tradition that his wife that died from cancer started 10 years ago .... and I didn't know that part. Some I'm kinda still stuck on what to do!!

  • Nonna T
    Master April 2014
    Nonna T ·

    Your husband can tell his sister it isn't happening.

    Who the fuck is she to tell you what to do?

    New family, new traditions.

    Che palle!

  • Janel
    Super September 2018
    Janel ·

    Yeah ignore that whole precedent comment. We normally throw a big holiday party (40+ ppl) every year but we're skipping it this year so that money can go towards the wedding. We've had people ask and we told them no, we're not having it this year because we just have too much going on. I'm sure we'll do it again next year.

  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·

    If you and H want to do this, have it at the church you found. Tell SIL you won't be cooking and then order sandwich trays. Life changes and H's family needs to understand that a 10 year tradition can't be expected to go on forever. If you and H do host this year, think about whether you want to continue on in future years. If you decide that the tradition should end, make an announcement this year. That gives everyone plenty of notice to make other plans next year.

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