Wording on Program for Groom's Mother abandon him and father has now become incompetent due to a health issues
Grooms Father: Mentally Incompetent after having a horrible accident. The incident happened soon after the groom become a legal adult. Groom is embarrassed by father, because he can not control his actions or words...saying inappropriate things at inappropriate times. Groom tries to explain to him that it isn't okay...but Groom's father doesn't comprehend and understand due to his mental/physical injuries.

Mother of the Groom: Abandon him when he was a baby as a result of a drug addiction. After the accident happen with the Groom's Father, Groom went to try to find his mother. When he did find her, she was drugged up on the streets. Homeless. He was very disappointed to find out his mother had not turned her life around. She refused to get better, so he cut off all contact with her.

So when trying to do the wedding program it ask for parents of Bride and Groom. Groom doesn't want his parents listed...what should you do or what can you replace it with?

Married: 03/16/2013
Posted On: Sep 27, 2012 at 12:11 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

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Married: 10/12/2013
Reviews: 1
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would at least add his father's name. He may be embarrassed (which I'm sorry he shouldn't be it isn't his fault he is like that he cannot help it) But he still raised his son. I would just put Groom name' son of Groom's father's name. No need to put the mother's name she has had nothing to do with her son.

Married: 10/27/2012
Reviews: 5
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Just put you two's names and along with their parents (no name specific)

for example:

John and Sara
along with their parents invite you to .......

Shannon S.
Married: 2+ years ago
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:15 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Can you do, "Family of Bride" and "Family of Groom"? His 'family' can be aunts, uncles, grandparents, even close friends.

Married: 05/18/2013
Reviews: 6
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
For the wedding program, just put

Parents of the Bride
Father's Name and Mother's Name

Father of the Groom
FFIL's Name

For the wedding invitation, it depends on who is paying.

Meghan
Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:27 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I've also seen it listed on programs as special guests of the couple, where parents, close aunts and uncles or people that were otherwise instrumental in raising them are listed. There is no designation of parent, or whatever. Just names listed.

And I think he is in the wrong with his father. His father had an accident. It's not his fault he is the way he is. I'm guessing he had a serious TBI, which changes a person. No matter what, he is still his father. He raised your FH and taught him how to be a good adult. I think he can make sure someone is assisting his father during the wedding, but he shouldn't be ashamed. He needs to look at how far his father has come in recovering instead of focusing on his continued problems.

Callen
Married: 03/15/2013
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I dont want to offend you but how can someone be embarassed of their father because his now physical/emotional state is alerted because of an accident? The man can not help himself! Does this not jump out to anyone else? God forbid something would happen to you, how would your FH handle it?

Married: 10/12/2013
Reviews: 1
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:39 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Callen I agree with you completely.. I didn't want to offend her or make myself look like B*tch... but I think it is completely wrong to act like that to a man who by the sounds of it was in a horrible accident and could have lost his life!... I think your FH needs to "Grow Up" and thank his lucky stars he has his father still. And Like Meghan stated you can't find a family member to watch over his father for the day? I wouldn't question putting my dad down, even if he was in a state of mind that otherwise wasn't the "norm" he would still be my father and I wouldn't be ashamed of him one bit!

I have a bigger question... if his father even being invited to your wedding if he is "embarrassed" about his actions?

Callen
Married: 03/15/2013
Sep 27, 2012 at 12:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you Soon2beMrs.K! If it were me, my Dad would be there come hell or high water. One of my BM (I was a BM in her wedding last yr) has a 23 yr sister whos mental capacity is more of a 4 or 5 year old. You bet your butt her sister was a BM carrying her baby doll (which she takes everywhere) down the aisle. My friend would have never thought of not including her, she is family!

Wedding: 07/06/2014
Sep 27, 2012 at 1:00 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think everyone is being a little harsh regarding how the groom feels about his father. In a perfect world,no one would be embarrassed of their father's actions if they were the result of a brain injury, but we are all human in the end.

For example, at a funeral I attended last year for FH's aunt, everyone went back to FH's grandma's house to visit and eat. FH's uncle, who has a brain injury and is mentally and physically unstable because of it, went to the bathroom and ended up having a bowel movement all over the floor and toilet seat. He didn't clean it up nor did he tell anyone so they could clean it up, he just left it there. I found it and let FH's mom know so she could take care of it before anyone else saw. Can you all picture yourself in this situation and HONESTLY say you wouldn't have been embarrassed?

That being said, regardless of any embarrassment towards him, he is STILL the groom's father and raised him. He should be listed in the program, IMHO.

Married: 03/16/2013
Sep 27, 2012 at 1:03 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I understand everyone on how they feel about this situation. There is more to it than what I have put down in my original post. It's very sad...

I will say this....even though his father raised him, he wasn't the best parent, but he did raise him the best that he could. There are several issues with his side of the family that no one could even imagine. The grooms grandparents on his father side passed away, and he has no contact with his one uncle that he had. As for siblings, he had 3 sisters. 1 sister is now decease due to drug overdose, 1 sister ran away...she refuses to have contact with their father. Groom said he was a little boy when she ran away, so he doesn't really know why she ran away and why she refuses to talk to him. We can only speculate what might of happen. Then you have the half sister, who really doesn't know her father.

This is truly a sad broken family...

Married: 05/11/2013
Sep 27, 2012 at 1:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Without seeing your program template, it is hard to say for sure. Would it look ok if it just didn't mention it?

Married: 03/16/2013
Sep 27, 2012 at 1:15 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
The grooms father will be listed on the program. We took everyone's post and it really helps us think it through more.

He will go to his father's caretaker and see what she would suggest since she would need to come to the wedding with his father. Also we would need to figure out the transportation if in the event his father does attend the wedding. The sister who refused to have contact with her father will not be at the wedding. She has already stated she would not be able to make it. Unknown as to why. But she said no. The half sister will be there for him.

It really breaks my heart to see him in this situation. I came from a totally different background than him. My parents are still together an have been married now for 33 years. We have had our family normal roller coasters. Nothing to compare to how my FH went through with his childhood.
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