Will you have a money dance?
I am going back and forth as to whether it is appropriate to have a money dance at our wedding. I know a lot of couples do but it just feels weird to me. So first, did or will you have one? Second, what does etiquette state?

Rane
Married: 03/05/2011
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Aug 16, 2010 at 2:37 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Aug 16, 2010 at 2:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We won't be having one, but I recently went to a wedding that did have one. I thought it was a great way for the bride to have a few moments with some of the guests.
The only thing that bothered me was that they literally pinned the money to the dress. The dress was beautiful, but with all the pin marks after...

Rane
Married: 03/05/2011
Reviews: 8
Aug 16, 2010 at 2:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Why did you decide not to have one for your wedding? My guy wants one but I'm a concerned about it being tacky... at the same time I'd get a chance to dance with some people that I might not get to otherwise....

Meghan
Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Aug 16, 2010 at 2:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have never seen one, EVER. To me, it's a very tacky tradition- but it's also completely abnormal to me as well.

If a guest wants to give us money, there will be a nice card box and no pin holes in my dress or MOH acting like beggars.

Married: 08/28/2010
Reviews: 9
Aug 16, 2010 at 2:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We're having. I'm the opposite of Meghan, I've never been to a wedding that didn't have one. I'll have a bag around my wrist that the money will go in: no one will be pinning anything to my dress or shoving it into my bodice (I've actually seen that)

Shannon S.
Married: 2+ years ago
Aug 16, 2010 at 2:52 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'd never even heard of the dollar dance until WW! We won't be doing one.

Married: 10/10/2010
Reviews: 7
Aug 16, 2010 at 2:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I really think it's a regional thing. My mom's whole family is from Illinois, and they'll expect one. FS's family is from Seattle and has never heard of it. Even though I was raised with it, I think it's a little tacky. Since most of my guests are OOT, I feel like they've already spent enough money on airfare, hotel, and gifts. I don't need to ask for more.

Married: 10/23/2010
Aug 16, 2010 at 2:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
The $ dance is a great thing,not only for the extra $ but the bride and groom get a moment with their guest....and i also have never been to a wedding that didn't have 1...alot of people also offer a shot to go along with the dance.

Married: 08/28/2010
Reviews: 9
Aug 16, 2010 at 2:58 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ Getting Excited: I think you're right because I live in Ohio and like I said to us/ me its just like having a cake. You wouldn't have a reception with out a cake...

Rane
Married: 03/05/2011
Reviews: 8
Aug 16, 2010 at 3:03 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have never been to wedding without one either Ursula... I think it may very well be a regional thing... we are in the South and everyone does it... I love the idea of having a photo taken of each guest that dances with us... if we have one that will be a must.

Rebecca
Married: 09/18/2010
Reviews: 2
Aug 16, 2010 at 3:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Saw it for the first time last year. At first I was a little appalled about the concept of charging your guests money to dance with you and asking for money on top of the gift they already bought you and the travel and hotel they already paid for to come to your wedding. My second thought was that it was kind of cute (the best man ended up dancing with the groom b/c the line for the bride was too long!) If you don't want to pin things on your dress, definitely just have someone or something collecting the money. I was told the proper way to do it is the guest will pay a dollar and in return they get to dance with you AND a shot of liquor. I'm not doing it b/c I thought that would end up costing too much and encouraging some already intoxicated people to go too far with their consumption.

Shannon S.
Married: 2+ years ago
Aug 16, 2010 at 3:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am sort of tempted to do one, just because it's so unheard-of in DC that my guests would go into a state of collective apoplexy. Shock factor? Always great for a memorable event.

Married: 10/30/2010
Reviews: 13
Aug 16, 2010 at 3:18 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
This is always a tough topic and comes up quite often. What we have found so far is that it's usually a cultural or area specific tradition. Some do truly view it as one on one time with the guests however, some do not. My opinion is that it sends a message that you want more money from your guests because that is how I felt as a guest who experienced it. Again this tradition in not a norm for me so please take this with a grain of salt. Not sure if we've ever discussed etiquette in regard to it not sure if anyone looked it up or not.

Married: 06/04/2011
Aug 16, 2010 at 3:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We may do one, but it's a common custom in both of our families. However, people who aren't used to it may see it as very tacky and as a shakedown for money (even if it is only $1). If it's something that a majority of your guests are used to, it can be really fun and go for it, but if it's not usual in your social circle, proceed with caution.
Aug 16, 2010 at 3:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It is a cultural tradition. I've seen it twice at Polish weddings in upstate PA. But, it is pretty widespread. Guests can also pay to dance with the groom.

Married: 08/12/2011
Reviews: 11
Aug 16, 2010 at 4:09 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yes we will have one. It's a great way to get one on one time with guests and they really let loose and make it fun. I don't see it as a cry for money...I mean really it's only a dollar and it's not like you HAVE to do it. In my opinion a dance with me is worth a buck!! ;) In my family, a lot of close family members do contribute more money like 20's or even 100's. If someone wants to give you money they will with or without this dance. Anyone who wants to dance does, and those who don't can sit and mingle. If it's successful you can play songs until the line dwindles...and if it's not so successful you end it and go on to the next thing.


As it's been said: Etiquette depends on your region and what you social circle does.

Married: 08/12/2011
Reviews: 11
Aug 16, 2010 at 4:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We will have our MoH and BM hold baskets for the money--guys pay to dance with me, girls pay to dance with FH. I think the best part is dancing with the little kiddos. :)

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 6
Aug 16, 2010 at 4:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Regrettably yes. I am not opposed to the theory behind a money dance..I'm just not good at making small talk with people I've just met and so I'm anxious about that part. A lot of FS' family I'll be meeting for the first time and having to dance with them and make small talk kinda makes my stomach turn. :)

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 6
Aug 16, 2010 at 4:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Oh..I forgot to add that we are doing one because FS really wants to and I'm being supportive cus he isn't really asking for much when it comes to the wedding and he's paying for all of it so I gotta give the guy somethin! :)

Married: 04/30/2011
Reviews: 7
Aug 16, 2010 at 4:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FS is Italian and according to his mother, it's a tradition to do this dance and the bride holds a beautiful bag on her wrist which guests put the money into. I am from the Seattle area and this is not something you see often, thus my family and friends would be extremely offended if we did such a thing. Since this is something I personally didn't grow up with, my FH and I make good money, and my guests would be offended, we won't be doing this dance. If it's a tradition though in your area, I can see doing it. The most important thing is that you are comfortable with whatever you decide to do and as long as you keep in mind who your guests are, then you you should be fine. My only word of warning would be that you may want to let the wedding party know what you decide to do, just so that guests have an idea you plan to do this, otherwise people might only have a Visa card on them and then they feel badly about not being prepared.

Married: 05/15/2011
Reviews: 6
Aug 16, 2010 at 4:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We're having one. I'm with some of the ladies above, I've never been to a wedding without one. So for my family, it isn't tacky at all. FH's family? I'm not sure, haven't asked =0P
But we don't 'pin' it on anyone, I will have a silk bag on my wrist, and I'm not sure what we'll do for the Groom yet.
But in my family, it's a good way to have one-on-one time with the guests. People don't have to give much, it's just supposed to be fun.
We call it the "Dollar Dance" as most people can just assume to pay a dollar, but there are more generous people that drop 20s or 100s.
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