Wedding officiant script
Hi! Our friend got his ordained ministers' license to marry us (he's never done this before!), but now we have no idea what he's supposed to say! We're not having a very formal/traditional wedding, and we're not getting married in a church so we don't want it to be super boring like that (totally not us!) Anyway, I was wondering if you guys had any ideas or knew of a website that could help us out with this? I'm getting together with our friend soon to go over what he's going to say so I need some ideas for him! I appreciate any kind of suggestions. Thanks!!!!!

Married: 11/17/2012
Edited On: Oct 8, 2012 at 5:50 PM
Posted On: Oct 8, 2012 at 5:39 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

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Oct 10, 2012 at 12:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Make sure he knows what to do with the license.

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 4
Oct 10, 2012 at 4:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My ffil is going to officiate, he got ordained online just for the occasion. sure he can BUY things from them to get his "training" but he is just doing it for us. we wanted it more personal and yes it is "legal" in our state.

PM me and i can suggest a great book, more than happy to share our outline and some of the things we have written up so far. (click on the picture to get to my profile)

Married: 11/03/2012
Reviews: 1
Oct 10, 2012 at 4:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
celia milton not everyone can afford pros and some people would rather have a friend do it because it means more to them then a stranger. also like others have said all you have to do is pay online and your all of the sudden licenced there doesnt have to be a class.

Married: 03/19/2013
Reviews: 9
Oct 10, 2012 at 5:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm quite sure you can have a beautiful ceremony tailored to fit your wants, needs and personal style! I really hate to hear "pros" talk about personalizing the ceremonies that they perform....by "personalizing" they mean taking their script, changing the names to yours and possibly learning a funny story about you or your FI....by having your friend do this, he/she truly knows you and your personal style and can work the ceremony to fit any "legal" wording into your ceremony and still have it be your own! GOOGLE works wonders and SophieMuffin has offered assistance via a PM =)
I wonder if any "pros" would offer to cut their fee to fit into a budget.....
Oct 10, 2012 at 5:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Usually, the officiant is the lowest paid pro at a wedding. Favors cost more than I do. Would a bride be willing to cut out favors in order to have an officiant for the ceremony (the whole reason for the party)?

My fee varies according to how far I have to travel, so if the couple is willing to come closer to me, I might be able to lower my fee.

Married: 03/19/2013
Reviews: 9
Oct 10, 2012 at 5:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Nancy..yes I would actually =) I found my officiant and cut other things just to get what I wanted but that is just me. The comment was in no way directed at you and I apologize if it offended you, that was not my intent. You offer advice here all the time and while you may get business from it, I believe you do this out of the kindness in your heart and for no other reason. I have never witnessed you being "harsh" or judgemental toward a bride/groom and their wants/needs so I thank you for that! =)
Edited On: Oct 10, 2012 at 5:33 PM
Oct 10, 2012 at 5:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Tiedaknot, I'm glad to hear that you appreciate your officiant -- and I'm sure s/he appreciates you.

My couples are encouraged to write their own vows (or even the whole ceremony). I can also send them a selection of readings from which they can choose. Usually, I learn enough about them that I can select readings that fit them so well they are amazed. A draft of the ceremony goes back and forth until they are totally satisfied.

As far as a friend/officiant knowing the B&G well -- that's not always a good thing. One of my couples had an aunt who wanted to officiate but was not authorized. We allowed her to speak during the ceremony. She went on and on about the time the B&G broke up!

Married: 11/17/2012
Oct 10, 2012 at 5:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Honestly, our decision to have our good friend marry us wasn't even about the money. He was a friend that has known us from the beginning, and we were more comfortable having him perform the ceremony than a stranger. Plus, since we're having a vegas themed wedding he is going to wear an Elvis suit - probably wouldn't be able to hire anyone with that idea! So as we are not traditional or religious, this decision just made the most sense to us.

And for the others that are in the same boat I am, this is a very good reference book from what I've been hearing: Wedding Ceremony Planner: The Essential Guide to the Most Important Part of Your Wedding Day by Judith Johnson


HalloweenBride
Married: 10/26/2013
Reviews: 5
Oct 10, 2012 at 5:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I had a hard time finding anyone under $350 in my area. In Iowa. It was depressing. That's a HUGE cost when everything else is so expensive and you have a small budget. I found someone who is starting out, she will have officiated a few weddings before ours, and asked all sorts of personal questions about how we met, what we like to do together, our religious/spiritual beliefs, our traditions and values. I was impressed.

I'm always a little offended when "pros" complain to us about having friends or family officiate. There is nothing wrong with having a loved one join you in marriage. It makes more sense to me than someone who knows nothing about me. Especially when these days marriage isn't really religious to everyone anymore.

Married: 03/19/2013
Reviews: 9
Oct 10, 2012 at 6:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well said "HalloweenBride" =)
@Kristyn..I love the idea, we are spiritual but not "religious" and we found an officiant that knew exactly what I meant by that =)

Married: 08/18/2012
Oct 10, 2012 at 6:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We wrote our own non religious ceremony. Here are the sites I looked at:

- http://anotherdamnwedding.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/our-ceremony/ (we did the ring warming mentioned here and it was so beautiful)
- http://abackyardwedding.blogspot.ca/2008/09/having-your-friends-and-family-marry.html
- http://www.weddingbee.com/2008/09/24/write-your-own-wedding-ceremony/

Our ceremony was byfar my most favourite part of the whole experience because it was us in every way. Our vows were super short - no more than 10 words - and we envolved all of our guests. Good luck!
Oct 10, 2012 at 8:14 PM • 
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Hidden On: Oct 11, 2012 at 9:48 AM


Marlena S.
Wedding: [Private]
Oct 10, 2012 at 8:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't see how getting a friend to officiate the ceremony is making it the least important part of the event. You would think the fact that it is someone very close to them who has been selected for this honorable position by the couple would make it more special. And that they want to write the ceremony themselves also makes it a more personable thing. It's not like she said she wants a 3 sentence "Hey look we're married let's eat" sort of blessing. I think this is a great idea. Besides, she already said it wasn't about the money. It's about someone SPECIAL to THEM doing a SPECIAL role in THEIR wedding.

On topic, however, I'm curious to see what you do find, Kristyn. My friend is writing her own ceremony. She is loosely basing it on our childhood church's ceremony, though with both her and her fiance nonreligious they are modifying the "god" parts to revolve more around their commitment to each other, their two children, and themselves as a married couple.Good luck with your hunt!

Samantha Renee Events NJ
Oct 10, 2012 at 8:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
The question was what should he say, not should he officiate or not. IF people can't/won't answer the question at hand, don't answer!

That being said, you should figure out what kind of ceremony you want to do. There are a few, sand, unity candle, etc. Then tailor them to you and your FH personalities. Also have a point where your friend speaks from his heart about you to to make it more personable. Good luck! :)

Married: 09/09/2012
Reviews: 5
Oct 10, 2012 at 8:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Celia, I don't believe that she is making the ceremony any less important than any other part of the wedding. In my opinion I think it makes it more special and personal they are having someone so close to them officiate their wedding. And as a bride who wrote her own ceremony herself my guests loved it, and said that it made it more personal. Its great you are so good at your job, but it doesn't make them any less capable at officiating.

Wedding: [Private]
Oct 11, 2012 at 12:18 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hi try not to pay attention to all the negative comments. here is a site that has a bunch of sample scripts that may be helpful:
http://greatofficiants.com/design-your-ceremony
BTW I don't blame you one bit the cost is crazy!

Married: 05/24/2014
Reviews: 2
Oct 11, 2012 at 12:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
im writing my own script also then just having them read it.....what i would do is write up the script you want then give it to him so he can practice it or give him a sample one to read so you can hear him do it.....if i cant find an officant then im going with a good friend of ours husband.....good luck and i think its a great idea

Maggie N
Married: 08/24/2013
Reviews: 5
Oct 11, 2012 at 12:45 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I hate to say a dirty word on here, but I remember seeing a section on GASP! theknot.com with different ceremony scripts! I'm on my phone so can't provide a link, but you can search on there. BTW, just want to throw in that as a religious person, I really admire people who are not religious owning it and not having a religious service. A friend of mine had the Lord's Prayer taken out of her ceremony because they are not religious. Things like that are really appreciated to me at least, because I feel like organized religion gets a bad rep from the people who are faking it. I hope that makes sense! I'm glad your friend is doing your ceremony, it will mean so much more to you than a traditional religious service!

2d Bride ®
Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 10
Oct 11, 2012 at 1:35 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Depending on your state, there are potentially serious legal issues with having a friend ordained online-- see this link.

That being said, if you are sure you can make the ceremony legal (or if you are just doing a symbolic ceremony after getting the paperwork done at City Hall), you can Google "secular wedding ceremony" for ideas.

Married: 11/02/2012
Reviews: 7
Oct 11, 2012 at 1:40 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
LOL @ Maggie B - Go wash your mouth out with soap, young lady!

@ Kristyn - this site has multiple links to some interesting wedding ceremony scripts as well

http://2000dollarwedding.com/2009/08/unique-and-interesting-wedding-ceremony.html
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