Wedding etiquette says this about wedding invitations...
..when you are inviting a family, you send one invitation to each adult child. I have several families who have 2 or 3 adult children living at home and I think it's a waste of money to send 4 invitations to one household. Am I wrong if I just mail to Mr. and Mrs. John Doe and Family?

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 6
Posted On: Jun 24, 2010 at 10:34 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

26 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 06/04/2011
Reviews: 6
Jun 24, 2010 at 10:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't know what etiquette says, but I'm with you...I think sending one to each adult child is a GREAT way to waste your money on something extremely unnecessary.

Married: 05/08/2011
Reviews: 9
Jun 24, 2010 at 10:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I asked a similar question as well... I personally think that it's okay. The thing that will get you is the whole adult individuals are "supposed" to get dates.

Married: 10/02/2010
Jun 24, 2010 at 10:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
thats what i am doing, one per household, thats way too much to send to each adult. my mom and dad just recently got back together after being divorced for almost 30 yrs. and now my step sister and brother live with them too that is 4 invites for one house, think not!!!lol

Former MDLS now Mrs. K
Married: 10/24/2010
Reviews: 7
Jun 24, 2010 at 10:48 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm with you, screw etiquette!

Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 24, 2010 at 10:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Things change, and this was before the economy changed. Now many children are coming home to roost in the nest. I think one invitation per household is fine.This is what we will be sending out too.

Married: 06/18/2011
Jun 24, 2010 at 10:52 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
well wait a sec... then how do you invite the guests for all of the kids at home?!

Married: 10/02/2010
Jun 24, 2010 at 10:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
well certain ones i am allowing to bring quests but not many seeing as we have the whole center i dont want anyone i really dont know in with us, maybe only if they are a steady gf/bf that i have met

Married: 07/24/2010
Reviews: 6
Jun 24, 2010 at 11:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
While I did not read all responses....the answer is....Mr and Mrs. and Family. That means all living in their home.

Married: 11/27/2010
Jun 24, 2010 at 11:08 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you want to only send one invitation per household, you would address the outside envelope to "The Smith Family" and the inside envelope as: "John and Mary Smith", "Joe Smith and Guest", "Julie Smith", etc.

Married: 07/24/2010
Reviews: 6
Jun 24, 2010 at 11:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you are doing an inner envelope. ;-)

Married: 08/22/2010
Reviews: 9
Jun 24, 2010 at 11:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You can always address the invite: The Turner Family.

Married: 09/15/2012
Jun 24, 2010 at 11:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Most of today's wedding etiquette was written at a time that it was assumed adult children would be married and living in their own households. If that does not apply to the situation neither does the particular bit of etiquette.

Cater It Simple
Jun 25, 2010 at 9:07 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I know someone who was an adult living at home and they got the one-invitation-for-the-household invitation. This 25 year old was insulted because she was being treated like a 12 year old kid in mommy's house. She felt like an afterthought.
You know your family and what's the norm in your social circle. Weddings are nothing but symbolic pagentry filled with custom and tradition...... and etiquette. It's proper etiquette for your guests to RSVP; it's proper etiquette for them NOT to bring an extra person with them if one wasn't invited; it's proper etiquette to bring a gift to the couple.
If we expect our guests to stick to proper etiquette, I'm not sure it's asking too much for us to also stick to proper etiquette when we are hosting a large party.
I personally wouldn't want to say to any of my family members, "I want you to come to my event and bring me a nice gift, but I'm not willing to spend an extra couple of bucks and a stamp on you for your own invitation."

Married: 10/16/2010
Reviews: 7
Jun 25, 2010 at 9:13 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I personally am sending invites to all adults over the age of 18 even if that means sending more to one household and the reason is because those additional adults are are allowed to bring guests and while I agree that it is a waste of money in my case there are only a handful like that and I know that I personally like to get mail and be invited to things. I would hate to think that if I was living at home for whatever personal reason I would not be considered important enough to get my own invite. The only home that is getting an "and Family" where the other person in the household is over 18 is the household where the daughter is handicapped and can't open or ready mail; but even there she is 31 years old we have always treated her like an adult I am thinking of sending her own too.

Married: 10/10/2010
Reviews: 7
Jun 25, 2010 at 9:18 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm going to see how many invitations I have left. I think I have plenty, so I'll probably send them to adult kids living at home. IMO, if we're talking etiquette, than these "kids" need to get out on their own. While living with mommy and daddy they don't really have the place to complain (Sorry for your friend, Debi). You can always put individual names on the inner envelope. That's what it's for.

Married: 05/29/2011
Reviews: 2
Jun 25, 2010 at 9:21 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Diana D.

I totally agree with you, even my gfs who dont have steady boyfriends, im just sendthing them invite as one. I dnt care, its mmy wedding, im paying for it and i dont want anyone i dont know to come lol.. kinda selfish!

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 8
Jun 25, 2010 at 9:25 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Something else to consider is that adult children should absolutely get their own invite if they're part of the wedding itself. FH's cousin is an usher, but he lives at home...he gets his own invite.

Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 25, 2010 at 9:26 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would say if they are under 20 and at home, it would be more ok to include them in the family invite. Older than that and not so much. It depends too how included you want those adult *kids* to feel. If you dont really care if they come, you could do the family invite. If you care, then they should get their own invite.

I will say this-there were several friends weddings that occurred right after I graduated from college. Despite having been 3 hrs away at college for the prior 4 yrs (and NOT coming home during the last 2 summers), I felt very insulted when my wedding invite went to my parents house. It seemed rude they didn't take the 30 sec. it would have taken to call/email/facebook me to get my current address (I even missed one girls shower cause i didn't see the invite until I arrived for a visit home the day of and noticed the invite on the counter, since my mom doesn't open my mail. So...if you are going to send an invite to them-get their current address.

Married: 08/07/2010
Jun 25, 2010 at 9:33 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I was going to send just one per household, but then I realized how many scrapbookers i have. Even though they are living at home with their parents, I guess i'm sending them their own because they want to keep it and add it to their scrapbook. ugh.. i'm making my own invitations... I don't think i'll ever get them done!! lol!

~Bride 8/28/10~
Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 25, 2010 at 9:35 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Mrs.Turner2B - Um be careful with this because I just posted something saying I had a phone call last night asking if and family meant 13 people. So just be specific on the invite! LOL
Login or Signup to post a comment!

Vow of Conduct