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Unknowingly Selfish

I love my dad. He's more like a best mate than he is a father to me. And I'm wrapped around his finger as much as he's wrapped around mine. He really is fantastic. But every time I bring up the honeymoon he goes on this loooong tangent about how we shouldn't go to Dublin, we should go to London instead. And we should do this and that and stay at this hotel and blah blah blah. And he does that passive-aggressive thing: "I'm not trying to tell you what to do. But LONDON is blah blah blah. And it's so great. And Dublin is boring." *sigh* He's not paying for it. He's certainly not going with us. haha. But it's like...he's trying to convince me so hard to change my plans because HE wants to go see London again. And if he can't then I should go in his place. He doesn't mean anything by it, I know. I don't even think he knows he's doing it. And I could never say anything like "I'm not you, and I don't want what you want." It'd hurt his feelings and I'd hate myself for it. (cont below)

Mrs. Carmen

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 4

Posted On: Nov 20, 2009 at 7:44 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

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Mrs. Carmen

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 4

Posted On: Nov 20, 2009 at 7:46 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
But every time we talk about it, I want to cry when I hang up the phone. It's like I tell him how excited I am, and I really just want him to say, "That's wonderful. I'm so happy for you." But instead he tells me I'm making a wrong decision and tries to push what he wants on me. His lack of enthusiasm is really hurtful and heartbreaking. I wish I knew how to make him stop, but I'd be so devastated if I hurt his feelings. sigh

ladylee

Married: 06/05/2010

Posted On: Nov 20, 2009 at 8:35 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Carmen you can try avoiding the topic altogether. If he doesn't bring it up, you don't bring it up. LOL! If it comes up again, just simply tell him "But Dad we don't WANT to go to London. We've already decided to go to Dublin and we're happy with our decision." It doesn't have to be said harshly.

Traci&Bob

Married: 02/26/2010

Posted On: Nov 20, 2009 at 8:42 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Carmen, next time, tell him that some other time you will go to London but you can't for your honeymoon because if you did go to London, all you would do was think of him, (awww,lol)and that is not what the honeymoon is for :)

Mrs Knight

Married: 09/18/2009
Reviews: 2

Posted On: Nov 20, 2009 at 8:49 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I am the same as you are with your dad. I don't have a dad I have a daddy! I love Traci's suggestion!

Traci&Bob

Married: 02/26/2010

Posted On: Nov 20, 2009 at 9:10 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you Sachele, I figured it was a good way of avoiding any hurt feelings :) lol

Mrs. Carmen

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 4

Posted On: Nov 20, 2009 at 9:43 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Actually, Traci...that's a wonderful suggestion. Thank you. While he's probably not gullible enough to believe it, he's smart enough to pick up on that being my way of saying no without wanting to hurt his feelings. Thank you so much for the help. You're awesome. And yeah, Sachele. He's my daddy. And I'm his only daughter. So I'm a sucker for him as much as he is for me. Hahaha. I'd give him the moon if I could do it.