Unity candle alternatives
Anyone have any ideas? My FH doesn't like any religious things so he's so far nixed the candle, sand, and now my favorite one the salt. I don't want to do something that we won't have a lasting memento to take as a keepsake. I really would like to do something we can include my son in as well. I appreciate any help.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Jun 15, 2010 at 10:05 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

21 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 15, 2010 at 10:07 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I was gonna suggest the salt!! D:

I'll let you know if I find anything.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 8
Jun 15, 2010 at 10:08 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Maybe something with colored fabric or thread? Like, each of you has a strand that's a certain color, and as part of the ceremony you braid it together to symbolize you becoming a family? Then you could hang it up someplace special at home.

Married: 08/28/2010
Reviews: 9
Jun 15, 2010 at 10:17 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
we're doing wax beads (have the consistency of sand but are wax) so when we pour them into the container we'll be making our own candle.

Married: 05/22/2010
Jun 15, 2010 at 10:22 AM • Flag As Inappropriate

Married: 07/10/2010
Reviews: 1
Jun 15, 2010 at 11:02 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We've been tossing around the idea of doing a unity cocktail but you wouldn't be able to include your son in that. It's pretty much the same as the whole unity sand thig only instead of pouring sand in a vase thing, your pouring shots into a glass. We were going to do tequila and margarite mix for ours.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 8
Jun 15, 2010 at 11:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Those are some interesting ideas ladies. @JessSquared we don't drink so that wouldn't work for us, but thanks everyone.

Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 15, 2010 at 11:12 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Someone at some point had posted about using corn. It's really pretty. I'll have to try and find a pic of it.

Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 15, 2010 at 11:14 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?pid=33953452&id=51809448 Apparently Kacie posted it back in March that was the link she included.

Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 15, 2010 at 11:18 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Future mrs where are you getting the wax beads? I think I really want to do this now :)

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Jun 15, 2010 at 11:20 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We're releasing doves! Not really a keepsake, but I think it'll be beautiful.

Married: 07/31/2010
Reviews: 5
Jun 15, 2010 at 12:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Just because the tradition of a unity candle started in a church setting doesn't necessarily make it religious. It is simply symbolic. The same is true with sand. Salt is definitely religious-based.

I would suggest, perhaps, including a hand-fasting? You could involve multi-colored cords or pieces of fabrics, it can be deeply symbolic, and there may even be a way to involve your son. Afterwards, the cords or pieces of fabrics can be inter-twined or braided in such a way that it can be framed and hung in your home. Just an idea...

Married: 07/24/2010
Jun 15, 2010 at 12:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I recently found out that the unity candle isn't even part of the Catholic wedding ceremony (we're getting married in a Catholic church) so I said good we're not having one then, one less thing to worry about! haha. But I definitely understand wanting some way to incorporate your son into the ceremony. If your FH is not your son's biological father he could maybe get a pendant or something else for your son and present it to him during the ceremony to symbolize taking your son on as his own (to be something similar to you getting a wedding band). In any situation I think to have something that includes the 3 of you such as a sand ceremony w/the types of sand is a great idea. I couldn't find anywhere that suggests it is a religious tradition so maybe try running it by your FH again. I found this website http://www.unitysandceremony.net/unity-sand-ceremony/ that seemed to give a pretty good description. Good luck

Married: 07/18/2010
Reviews: 5
Jun 15, 2010 at 12:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We are going to do a Rose ceremony. You can either do it just between the 2 of you or you can include your families/children. There are several version.
Here are some links:



Married: 07/01/2012
Jun 15, 2010 at 2:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I was going to suggest a celtic handfasting. You can also have you son and Fh say vows to each other and you. Example I, FH take (insert son name) as my son to cherish, love and guide excetera. I (son) take FH, as my (insert name you want him to use) to honor, love and respect until death or something like that. A small token can be exchanged too.

Married: 09/25/2010
Jun 16, 2010 at 12:08 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
we're releasing butterflies...your son will love that

Married: 10/02/2010
Jun 16, 2010 at 12:17 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
we are doing the sand, and instead of us doing it we are having our mothers do it so they are still apart of the ceremony

Nika Paperworks LLC

Nika Paperworks LLC
Jun 16, 2010 at 12:38 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
there are sand cylinders that you guys could have personalized and then fill together as a family symbol, or there are wedding word cylinders that you can fill with water and just place a floating candle on the top which is a great way to have a non-religious alternative way to still light a candle together. Either one can be kept as a keepsake from your wedding day :) if you want help finding some, let me know.

Married: 05/23/2010
Reviews: 5
Jun 16, 2010 at 12:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I was also going to suggest the rose ceremony.


Goody Candles
Jul 10, 2010 at 2:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We've actually noticed that more couples are using unity candles in non-religious unity ceremonies. We've designed unity candles for ceremonies to unite 2 families where the children participate in the unity ceremony by lighting their family's candle and the bride and groom lighting the main unity candle. We've also designed unity candles based on wedding themes (for example halloween wedding).
Our unity candles can be personalized with pictures, artwork, names, monograms or poems.

Married: 07/22/2011
Reviews: 5
Sep 01, 2010 at 3:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
we're doing wax beads (have the consistency of sand but are wax) so when we pour them into the container we'll be making our own candle.

where did you find these wax beads??? i love this idea, but im having trouble finding the right colors...
Login or Signup to post a comment!

Vow of Conduct