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Be firm, but sensible. Make sure what you are fighting for is worth the fight. Pick and choose your battles carefully. And try to see his side of it.

I don't know what you mean by 'whip into shape' but We treat each other with respect and as equals. We do exactly as JulyBride has suggested. We don't yell nor scream, it's stupid. If either us feels that angry, we leave the other be until we calmed down and come back later to discuss it.

What do you mean by "whip into shape?" You will not be able to change him unless he wants to make changes. By accepting who each other are eliminates many disagreements.

yea Meg, I don't know about anyone else, but I was put off by that phrase.

I prefer not to whip my man into anything. I like him the way he is. But then, I guess that's why I'm marrying him.
When Stephen and I argue, we never (have never and will never) raise our voices or say things we'll regret later. There's never any "go away", "don't talk to me", or "leave me alone". When we recognize we're angry, we'll go and do separate things until we're both calm, and then we'll sit down, explain how we both feel, and come to some agreement (or make an apology if it's needed). We always make sure to say "I love you", and then we move on...until the next time he wants me to do the dishes and I forget. lol.

LOL Carmen

the only "whipping" should take place inside the bedroom. other than that, you should talk TO him and not AT him. i don't like being angry with my honey. It literally hurts. So it doesn't take long for us to fix whatever is going wrong. You just have to be willing to do the work.

Bride2Be, I understand the whipping into shape. It is just a phrase! Geez ladies. :o) Some men do need some training. I always think writing letters works well with some guys. Especially ones who don't seem to listen very well. If you write it down then nobody can yell, and he will read everything you write and is not able to argue with you.

LMAO...you ladies cracked me up on this one! ...I don't know, Potters might be right that it was just an expression we all might be taking too seriously, but it struck a wrong chord with me as well so I don't blame anyone for voicing that. I will say that BOTH people in a relationship need to grow, compromise, and WORK on it together every singe day. So if men need to be "whipped into shape" then so do women. None of us come out of a box perfect! It's all about open, honest, RESPECTFUL communication. Caring about each other's needs and feelings and just basic hard work every single day. But be ready to give and compromise as much as he does, don't expect all the bending to come from him. You have to work just as hard to see his side as you want him to see yours

potters, glad you stepped in on this... i think in this case it was just a phrase...

oh geezzzz lol

yea i'm sure it was....it SOUNDED kinda like she was asking for techniques of manipulations which I'm sure is why it was taken badly by most....but more likely, she was just being flippant, using and silly expression in her question to make it more light-hearted....it's all good!

I like to call it "Molding" LOL smoothing out the rough edges.

lol erika

Well would like to thank all the ladies who gave advice. It was very helpful. And to all who took that saying so seriously, i'm sorry if I offended you. To tell the truth I was going through something very tough with josh and I was looking for a way to get through to him. And the negative comments were not apprecitated and hurt my feelings more than anything. We are going through a really rough patch and I thought I could vent to you guys.

aw bride2b I'm sorry if anything anyone said hurt your feelings. Can you see how maybe it could have been taken the wrong way? I think everyone realized it wasn't how you really meant it though so don't think that anyone thinks that now. We've all been there in the rough spots so we feel for you. And of course you can vent! Hang in there!

Your original post was really short and didn't give much explanation so I hope you can understand why some people didn't understand it or took it the wrong way. Hope you guys were able to work everything out.