Together for ten years, big wedding seems silly, any ideas?

The bottom line is that we've been engaged for four years and have a lot of roots in a lot of places. Guests are coming from opposite coasts. I have my heart set on being somewhere scenic and peaceful for this date, but can't stand the wedding formula, nor the all about me nature of it. That said, I want this to be special and to give us time with our friends. Any elegant venue suggestions close to an airport where I could stay outside of the mold and just have a beautiful ceremony and party? Guest list goes from 150 to 30 and back again. I'd like to keep it SMALL and stay away from it being a big show.. This isnt going to be in NYC, I was forced to select from the menu.

Posted On: Jun 24, 2009 at 8:06 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate


JG
Community Headliner

Married: 11/07/2009

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JG
Community Headliner

Married: 11/07/2009
Posted On: Jun 24, 2009 at 8:07 PM | Flag As Inappropriate


galinda40
Community Superstar

Married: 07/05/2009
Reviews: 6
Posted On: Jun 24, 2009 at 8:39 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
if you want it small then keep it small. have a destination wedding somewhere exotic. not the usual Hawaii or Mexico but Peru or South Africa or New Zealand. keep the ceremony short and take everyone out for dinner in place of the reception. it'll be different and totally memorable.
Posted On: Jun 24, 2009 at 10:08 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Congrats! What might really work for you is keeping it small and renting out a bed and breakfast for the weekend. Your guests could get shuttled there and you can get married onsite by a local officiant. That way you would have the most time to visit with friends and family, keeping it low key and elegant, while losing the stress of a big production. Most bed and breakfasts offer some type of dining, so the catering (or at least some of it) could be included. Check out bedandbreakfast.com for some locations. Good luck and email if you need any help. events@saralina.net
Posted On: Jun 24, 2009 at 10:26 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
No matter how long you've been together, it is perfectly appropriate to cerebrate you marriage with a lovely wedding. However, it needn't be a big, all-out affair with dinner and dancing. One of the nicest weddings I have played for took place at the home of the bride's family. The ceremony was out-side followed by hors d'oevres, cake and champagne served in a tent with lovely harp music in the back ground. ;o)
I have also played for elegant teas, luncheons and dinners without dancing. There is a discussion of affordable weddings on my web-site at:
http://hudsonvalleyharpist.webs.com/anaffordablewedding.htm
Many of these suggestions have to do with smaller, more intimate scale. Please pay it a visit!
Best wishes,
Margaret Sneddon, Harpist
www.margaretsneddon.com
New York, Westchester, and the Hudson River Valley
Posted On: Jun 24, 2009 at 10:47 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I am a Palm Springs, CA wedding officiant. I have married a number of couples who have been together 10 years or longer. Some have children and they may even be part of the ceremony. To me it is still your Special Day, and I would only imagine that you want it to be lovely and meaningful -- both for you and your guests.
I strongly recommend the Greater Palm Springs area of California. We are considered a wedding destination venue and people from all over the world come to our area specifically to get married.
We have the Palm Springs International Airport directly in the heart of Palm Springs.
We have beautiful hotels, country clubs, golf resorts, etc. Our restaurants are second to none. We have a wonderful Wedding Association to assist you in all aspects of a wedding.
I am already booked on November 7, 2009, but if you feel I can be of assistance, even if it is only to answer your questions, please email or call.
Blessings,
Reverend Stan
www.specializedweddings.com

Future Mrs.Schmidt
Community Megastar

Wedding: 08/07/2010
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 10:53 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Well, the best advice I can give is do what you want! If you want small, go small! The B&B idea is very good, or you can go somewhere tropical and stay even longer for your honeymoon!

Summer B.
Community Newcomer

Married: 05/10/2009
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 12:59 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
My situation is nearly identical to yours. Together for many years, tons of friends but wanted to keep it small. A destination wedding was decided, with one snafu?groom's dad will NOT fly! Knowing some would have to fly no matter what, we picked the picturesque and mysterious city of Savannah, and rented a large historic home to house the guests. So many options in this city for ceremony and reception, and many hotel and b&b options to accommodate a few overflowing guests.
And as for it being "silly"?a wedding was something that we originally thought was "unnecessary" but ended up being the most amazing weekend, filled with so much love and emotion it was beyond our expectations, and all of our friends were THRILLED to travel to support the occasion. GO FOR IT!!!

crebre80
Community Superstar

Wedding: 12/31/2010
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 1:09 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
If a lot of your guests have to fly anyway, Myrtle Beach is also a good option. You could rent a vacation home there or even a row of vacation homes depending on your guest list.
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 1:46 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
There's nothing silly about celebrating a commitment that has lasted a decade.
If the idea of having a big, white wedding isn't your cup of tea, you can alternately throw a cake and punch style shindig at a private estate and have lawn games out on the grass. Perhaps look up a spa resort where friends can play golf, get massages, etc. Rent a ski lodge on the mountains and build snow castles for the weekend. Just go with what you think your guests would like and go from there.

detailedplanner
Community Megastar

Wedding: 02/27/2010
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 2:33 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
If YOU want a small affair, by all means, that's what you should have. Just don't let others convince you of that because of their opinions. If 10 years makes you silly, then I'm deliriously giddy, lol. We've been together 15 years, 3 kids, a dog, a house and so on. It will be about 16 years by the time we get married. You would be surprised. Most people are not as conservative as you think. The majority of my family, just say "Its about time!", jokingly. We deserve to have the wedding we want, regardless if we do it 1, 2, 3 years into our relationship or 10-15, like us.

detailedplanner
Community Megastar

Wedding: 02/27/2010
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 2:46 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Another thought, I tell people we may not be married, but we've been together longer than most of our friends our age, who have been married, divorced and remarried and some times divorced again, and so on. I have friends who have been married and divorced 2-3 times in the 15 years we've been together. Our relationship, just like all others, is not perfect; but we obviously try harder.
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 3:46 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
A wedding is basically an occasion for you to announce and declare your love and intentions to your friends and family. Even if you've been together 10 years, I don't think it is silly... that being said, I love more intimate affairs. I like the idea of renting a big house and doing something like that. I just did a 10 year renewal in someone's house... it was small, intimate and amazing. So if you're not into all the pomp and circumstance, try steering clear of catering halls and find something different. I've seen weddings at certain historic mansions, museums, in B&Bs, really nice restaurants, vineyards, farms, etc.
Find an officiant that matches the mood you are creating. Find a photographer and videographer that match that as well (something more simple, less obtrusive). Find a less "showy" band... maybe not a traditional wedding band. Matching all of these things will give you an overall feel of a great evening and less of a typical wedding.
Good luck!

jpeterson
Community Megastar

Married: 07/20/2009
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 4:23 PM | Flag As Inappropriate


jpeterson
Community Megastar

Married: 07/20/2009
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 4:27 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I'm pretty much the same... 9 years (10 by the time we get married), 3 kids, a mortgage, etc. A wedding at all to me seems silly sometimes. I keep going back and forth between wanting it and not. I would love to have a small intimate thing..and really love the destination idea, but I want my kids in the ceremony and don't want to travel with them (especially since a destination wedding would also be our honeymoon rolled into one).
I think we've half chosen to have our wedding at home with around 50 guests (almost half children-which is another reason why not to do the big formal dance/dinner)... We haven't finalized anything, but it's what we are leaning toward.
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 5:11 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
We were in a similar boat 12 yrs. ago. Mr. Social wanted a large elegant wedding so he could invite everyone and they were all over the country. I didn't want a big gala and I didn't want to plan it! The only thing we agreed on was an outdoor wedding. When I started presenting him pricing for 150 guests his eyes glazed over for one last time (his eyes would glaze at all wedding discussions-seriously) and he said why are we doing this? Huh?!
We ended up booking an entire B&B in a restored Italianate that had beautiful gardens with a gazebo for an entire weekend. It was great! Everyone came in on Friday, we hung out in the garden all night. Had the ceremony at 2pm Saturday in the gazebo. Food and cake were catered in and we supplied the alcohol. The B&B supplied dinner Friday & breakfast/dinner Sat. & breakfast on Sun. Our wedding night was spent at the best hotel in town while our guests continued to party at the B&B. We've been told "Best Wedding Ever!" for years!
Hope this Helps!


jed103100
Community Superstar

Married: 06/06/2009
Reviews: 7
Posted On: Jun 25, 2009 at 11:45 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
We got married earlier this month in Sedona, Az. (the most beautiful place out West). We only had our family and the wedding party, 50 people total. We made a whole weekend out of it and everyone had a blast! We hung out in the bar and at the pool Thurs., went swimming and slid down a natural rock waterslide on Fri. morning, took everyone to a vineyard for dinner on Friday night, and then had the wedding on Sat. We didn't have tons of people, but we made it really special for everyone. We just hung out most of the time. The reception was fairly formal, but once dancing started, everyone changed into normal clothes and we just had a blast! Everyone said it was the most fun they'd had in awhile. It ended up being a mini-vacation for most people. Nobody had really ever heard of Sedona, let alone been there, and they all fell in love. I definitely wouldn't change anything we did, it was perfect!

JG
Community Headliner

Married: 11/07/2009
Posted On: Jul 04, 2009 at 1:07 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you all for your thoughts...

2d Bride
Community Superstar

Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 6
Posted On: Jul 05, 2009 at 12:30 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
How long you've been together is irrelevant. What matters is how big you and your fiance want your wedding to be, and what you'd like it to be like.
My fiancee and I have been together for eight years now. Until recently, there was nowhere we could get married. We'll end up with a very small ceremony and luncheon in MA (under 20 people), but then a much bigger reception back in our home town.
Just think about it this way: If this were not a wedding, but a party with family and friends, how would you organize it? You can ignore all the "rules" for a wedding, and just have that kind of party.

indra a.
Community Headliner

Married: 07/18/2009
Reviews: 1
Posted On: Jul 05, 2009 at 9:12 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
we decided to go with a tropical theme - linen and guayaberas and made it a brunch reception - saved on flowers, food, and venue
another option is a destination wedding choosing between the cities spirit airlines flies to and take advantage of one of their insane promotions - we went to Trinidad for $11 per person and got our honeymoon tickets for $1 to freeport - yes one dollar
Posted On: Jul 09, 2009 at 4:45 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
You have many reasons to celebrate your marriage.
We have had beautiful destination celebrations in Florida. There are a number of big cities that offer the things you are talking about and there are some small out of the way places, with beaches and cabanas.
We are known for our romantic settings and sunsets and for our big bash blowouts.
The choice is yours to make and you know what would work for you.
Just give yourself time to plan it out so you are not so stressed.
Enjoy yourselves and choose carefully.
Feel free to email me with questions if you wish.
I also have friends in many areas of the USA who also have beautiful areas to work with.
Good Luck and hope to see us all talking again about helping you decide where to have your 25th celebration.

JG
Community Headliner

Married: 11/07/2009
Posted On: Jul 14, 2009 at 1:39 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
yes, see the thing is, we've also been engaged for a long time, and have lived in a lot of great places. I travel often, and have done an immense amount of research and searching. The more specific the suggestions are for venues, the better.... What I would like to do is find an private, elegant venue with superior service standards to ensure the catering and event delivery... ideally that we could takeover with a buyout, or else a villa with nearby accomodations.. People are traveling from the east coast, west coast, and everywhere in between.. don't want to do Mexico. Caribbean is far from LAX. Hawaii is far from JFK. Somewhere near an airport. We lived in Miami, I've looked all over Flordia, but what venues meet the privacy and luxury critera? Lots of big resorts. Keys are too far.
Posted On: Jul 14, 2009 at 3:43 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Colorado is often used as a destination wedding site as it's mid-way between the coasts. It has the beautiful mountains, fresh air, lots to do, many beautiful ranches and just about whatever you want, except a sandy beach!
You might consider a "Planned Elopement" with a party back at home for your family and friends. This can be as romantic as you want and the party can be casual.
The nice thing is that many of these areas are about 1 hr. drive from DIA or you can fly directly into Vail and Aspen, which is also convenient.
Hope this helps! Good luck.
Posted On: Jul 14, 2009 at 5:00 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Try the Grove Park Inn in Asheville, NC. http://www.groveparkinn.com/Weddings/ You won't find a more picturesque escape anywhere. Asheville also has an airport. Happy Planning!

Juan & Stephanie S.
Community Megastar

AZ CELEBRITY DJ
Posted On: Jul 22, 2009 at 6:56 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Love sedona = We just did a wedding at Sedona Golf Resort this last week - Have a wonderful wedding !
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