The "The NO Kids etiquette" or "Families of 4 and more".........when spacing and funds are limited!!!
I am have a ahuge family and I am already cutting alot of family with keeping my list between 100-150 guest list but leaning more towards 100 guests to get the wedding of my dreams..............the problem is some households have multiple children or a large househole of 3 or more...how do you politely go about letting the guests know that all of you family (kids cant attend)?

Married: 11/12/2011
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Mar 21, 2011 at 11:24 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 12/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Mar 21, 2011 at 11:40 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It needs to be all or none. You can't let some people's kids come but not others. I would just put it on the invite's enclosure.

Brian Cesario Photography, LLC
Mar 21, 2011 at 11:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Sass is right. You can't allow select children to attend and exclude others. Suggest you make it an adults-only affair and leave it at that. Your guest list will be much more manageable that way.

Married: 07/03/2011
Reviews: 6
Mar 21, 2011 at 11:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have seen age limits which is what we are doing due to a high amount of very young children in the family. We don't mind teenagers. You can set an age limit on your guests, say no one under 16, 18, 12, whichever you prefer. Probably not proper etiquette but hey, it's your wedding.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Mar 22, 2011 at 12:29 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
The only children we're alowing are the very close families, the ones who lives in our houses and those who are traveling, other than that no one can bring kids, no exception. I think everythone should understands if they are your immediate families, other than that you shouldn't allow some and not the others. Perhaps you should do what Fonsetta suggested

Meghan
Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Mar 22, 2011 at 12:48 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Most people are understanding that younger children are not invited. It's not abnormal to have 18 and up weddings either. The ONLY exceptions are the flower girl/ring bearer and the bride and groom's own children! But those not related by DNA should be promptly taken home after the ceremony.

You politely put Adults Only Reception To Follow on the bottom of your invites. That gets that children cannot be accomodated.

There are a million ways around it- liability issues with the venue. You want the parents to be able to relax, not ensure their children aren't getting to close to the DJ's equipment, or the photographer's equipment- because if they spill a drink on something, the parents have to replace it- and you know what a burden that can be.

You can flat out say that there will be alcohol consumed at the reception, and the atmosphere is not that of an appropriate location for young children to be.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Mar 22, 2011 at 12:59 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Oh hell meg... there goes my whole childhood. I can't picture a second of my childhood when that crazy lady had anything but a cigg or a beer in her hand. Lol

Speaking as a woman with 4 children, I think Id get more offended by an age limit than a "adults only" affair.

Its a good idea just one that Id be touchy about. (The age limit)
Edited On: Mar 22, 2011 at 1:00 AM

Meghan
Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Mar 22, 2011 at 1:21 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Tiff- I disagree. As a parent of 3 children, I know my 10 year old could behave for the timeframe and would be okay (though not all 10 year olds can be). My 6 year old however- she'd be bored out of her mind, running around and getting in people's way. If someone set an age limit of 13, 16, or 18- I wouldn't have any problems with it.

Ms. R- if you do an age limit- make it a big age. 16 is good. But if someone in the family is 15, and about to turn 16- you should let them attend. But then, their 13 year old sister would be left out. Adults only sounds like the best way to go, IMO.

Married: 11/12/2011
Reviews: 5
Mar 22, 2011 at 10:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks ladies because it sounds like this is going to become ugly with families that feel they are entitled to bring their children whether their 8 yrs old or 17 and 20 years old. If I could accommodate them all I would, but with me paying $70.00 per person I news to get every adult per household I can have.......people aren't being realistic, they think weddings are cheap; NEWSFLASH!!! Its very expensive

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Mar 22, 2011 at 12:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We are a similar problem. We have a max capacity of 200 people, I have 96 people on my side, but FH has 144 on his side. We had a sit down about this issue the other day and weighed out the possibilities. It is looking like on FH side, there will be no children under the age of 13 allowed to attend to free up seats for the other guests he would like to invite. As an example, FH has a cousin that has 5 children under the age of 13. But with this, we face the possibility of guests on his side asking why there are children at the wedding that are younger than 13... I refused to cut out the children on my side as they are my close family, as my total guest list fell within the guidelines of 100 guests each. This is a very tough situation that you are not alone on. If you feel that this is going to get ugly, then do as Meghan suggested and cut children out completely. it will save you the headache of making acceptions for some and not others, and it will save money in the end.

Married: 05/14/2011
Mar 22, 2011 at 12:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Sass (none or all) with a few exceptions: bridal party or immediate family. We are not inviting children except for my MOH's daughter, my nephew, RB, FG, and FG's brother. All of these kids are either in the wedding themselves or have either a mother or father in the wedding.

We addressed the invites to who was invited only. If anyone RSVPs differently, we will call them and tell them we are sorry but we cannot accommodate children. If anyone has a problem with, then they can not come themselves.

Married: 06/24/2011
Reviews: 12
Mar 22, 2011 at 1:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It puzzles me when someone says you "can't" do something. You can do whatever you need or want to do; it's how you go about it that makes the difference. I have an FAQ section on my website that welcomes children to the ceremony, but asks guests to be mindful of little ones who might get restless (read: loud, crying, uncontrollable) and make arrangements for their care.

Costs and the size of our families limit children at our reception. Our invitation response cards will say "We have reserved two seats in your honor." This makes it about the number, and not so much the children.

Someone may think this isn't right or fair, but I'd simply challenge them to help me pay for our wedding! If they feel slighted or unimportant because I can't afford to feed their whole family while I have an already-high catering bill, they need to be reminded that it isn't about them. I want to share our wedding with close family and friends, but I'm not funding a family reunion!

Married: 09/10/2011
Reviews: 1
Mar 22, 2011 at 1:58 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We are doing the same as Patricia J. No kids allowed except immediate family and traveling guests. As a matter of fact, we aren't even doing plus 1 unless the couple is married or living together.

Married: 09/24/2011
Mar 22, 2011 at 5:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We are not having any children expect my FH's niece. We cannot afford to have a wedding if we invited all of our friend's kids - there are too many!

Married: 09/24/2011
Mar 22, 2011 at 5:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We are not having any children expect my FH's niece. We cannot afford to have a wedding if we invited all of our friend's kids - there are too many!

Wedding: 10/17/2015
Mar 22, 2011 at 8:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Great post, TerahJaye.

Married: 05/28/2011
Reviews: 10
Mar 22, 2011 at 9:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
TerahJaye is right, it's our day and we make our rules. They aren't paying for the day we are. I am sending an invite to my cousin and his wife only, not including their kids. For one they are young. Secondly, they don't know how to act like little ladies. They run all over the place and the parents don't control them. Yes, we will be having other kids there, but I know how the others behave. People may think I am wrong for this, but if you knew my cousin's kids you would understand.

Married: 11/12/2011
Reviews: 5
Mar 22, 2011 at 10:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Terahjaye!! you hit it right on the the head......this is not a family reunion or a childrens birthday party................5 guests, $70pp and 1 gift for that matter just for you to go and talk about my wedding i think not.................

Married: 11/12/2011
Reviews: 5
Mar 22, 2011 at 10:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks ladies!!!! any suggestions on how to word the invites?............Terahjaye I like your idea on telling the guests how many tickets we have reserved for them instead of allowing to determine the number.......................

Married: 09/02/2011
Mar 23, 2011 at 2:52 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
There will be the flower girl and ring bearer, and my nephews. Those are all the children I am allowing, and that is probably only going to be for the ceremony. We like to party, and i just dont think having children would be appropriate. On our RSVP cards we are stating that it is an adult only affair.

Demi Lei <3
Married: 06/18/2011
Mar 23, 2011 at 3:15 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I personally am allowing childeren at mine (we reserved a park with a playground for that reason) but if you prefer none then just put on the invitation at the bottom Adult Only Affair... that shouldn't cause any problems for anyone... I have been to a few weddings that said that and no one took offense.. plus it was not as stressful having to worry about tons of kids running around.
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