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The relationship trinity

I have heard it said that EVERY couple fights about THREE main topics: MONEY,SEX, and IN-LAWS.....I'm curious how many of you have found this to be true.... Personally, I think it is! Pretty much all of our arguments have to do with at least one of these topics, although sex is the least of them and I wouldn't say that causes actual fights, more like issues to be discussed and work out, LOL....how about you? Does this old adage hold true today?

Posted On: Nov 6, 2009 at 4:24 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate

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Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

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The Potters

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:28 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Not for me. I want sex more than he doesn, but its not a fight. We love each others in laws, which is so great! Our families are a lot a like. Right now we're deciding how to combine bank accounts. I know money is something a lot of people fight about so I want to make the best decision for our funds.

Future Mrs.Schmidt

Wedding: 08/07/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:28 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I would say yes, those three are the most argued about topics.

Mrs. Sarah Halliwell

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 10

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:28 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
absolutely! inlaws has been the worse for us...money less often and sex even less often! but iits the three big things in a relationship that can bring it down!

The Potters

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:28 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
LET ME JUST SAY THAT I STILL HAVE FAKE NAILS FROM THE WEDDING. I FINALLY HAVE THEM ALL OFF EXCEPT FOR ONE I JUST CANNOT GET OFF. AND IT KEEPS ME FROM TYPING WELL! :O)

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:31 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
LOL @ Potters...have you soaked it in acetone nail polish remover?

Kari95630

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 1

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:32 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I heard the same thing, but its not true in our relationship. I think we're on the same page in those aspects. We fight over stupid stuff like, what to eat for dinner, driving directions, do-it-yourself projects, etc. LOL

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:36 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
LOL...yeah we have those moments too of course...but definitely IN-laws are our #1 fight....and money causes it's moments.....like I said, we don't "fight" about sex but there have definitely been things to work out in that area so I could see it causing fights for many other couples...I'm right there with you Potters on that one! LOL

Whitni C.

Wedding: 06/11/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:36 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
ive heard that too. we only argue about inlaws, and its more his than mine. he dsnt get along with his parents. so its usually him that brings them up, which is kind of weird to me. Money, eh...not really we arent worried about it, we know what we can go with out, and what not. Sex, never lol. Im agreeing with Kari, we argue over the stupid things! lol

Konichiwa

Wedding: 01/17/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:36 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
We haven't really argued about in laws or sex. I'd have to say that for us the main arguments are about money and the kids. Well mainly my kid! I've been a single parent and responsible for all decisions when it comes to my son (even when I was with his father I was responsible for all the decisions). So when it comes to someone else giving an opinion on parenting my son it's been....difficult....for me. My FH is a father 5 times over and has had full custody of his kids since his divorce 12 years ago so he's had lots of practice. I know he means well but it's been hard to get used to sharing the responsibility.

The Potters

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:39 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Laura I have not. Its just one more! c'mon just come off. Its like pulling teeth.

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:39 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
yeah Konichiwa I'm sure that when we have kids that will quickly become the number one topic! Blending a new family is hard on everyone. good luck!

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:40 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
more like pulling NAILS LMAO!! Sorry that was corny of me ;)

MRW82584

Wedding: 07/30/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 4:58 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Generally we don't find those to be the main part of any arguement. We've never fought about money, a few little ones about sex, we both get along with each others inlaws, now don't get me wrong we argue but just about other random stuff once in a while nothing really consistant.

jenni11

Wedding: 08/13/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:06 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
We've only had one fight and it was about doing the dishes!

3.6.10Bride

Wedding: 03/06/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:59 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
In my first marriage, I'd say 99% of our fights were to do with one of those three things. We fought about money because we never had any. We fought about sex because we never had any. And we found about the inlaws because both of us were too young and immature to realize that we were our own family now and instead went running to our parents everytime things got bad. In my current relationship, we don't fight about any of those things. We're totally on the same page, so to speak, about the big three. When we fight, it's usually over petty stuff.

Jessy D.

Wedding: 05/30/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 6:11 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
So far, our only argument was over a piece of cake... except that it turned out not to be a real argument. He went into this long speel about me eating the cake... thinking that I knew he was joking. I took him seriously and spent most of my evening in misery. Then he realized that I took him seriously and he felt bad. Ha! Its kinda funny now :)

wowjunkie

Wedding: 06/12/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 8:33 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Our arguments are more like heated debates, really, and those are usually over in 5 minutes or less, but we did just get done having a pretty lengthy one about the in-laws, and then one about money. BUT the root of both of those is that we weren't listening to each other. The money and the in-laws sparked it, but it kept going for longer than usual because we weren't communicating well. I think that's usually the case for most couples - it doesn't matter what starts it, it won't end until you two start communicating.

Libragurl

Wedding: 10/30/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 9:02 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
pretty much...money has been the biggest argument...in-laws not really any arguments at all.

Adriana M.

Married: 09/19/2009
Reviews: 11

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 9:20 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Oh is it true for my husband and I we rarely fight about money sex a little more cause he works the graveyard shift so when he is sleeping im awake vice versa and we also have a 19 month old to add to it whom we share a bedroom with. The the biggest topic are in laws and its his family we don't get along at all to the point this past week I told him Im done with them and not having anything to do with them to have them not call text or email me again but he agreed to it so thats good he stand by my side and respects me.

Mrs. Katie Rinker

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 9

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 9:32 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
i would have to say money mostly b/c he makes it & I spend it, LOL!!!! but regarding in laws its only his dad that we ever have a problem with he acts like a child when it comes to stupid stuff... I really bad for my hubby's mom the most b/c i don't know how she stays with him he acts like a spoiled brat all the time he's an only child.. so we always say he has only child syndrome.... but never about sex..:)

Mrs. Katie Rinker

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 9

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 9:33 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
SORRY!!! I really FEEL bad for my hub's mom it should have said:)

jlacy1987

Wedding: 06/11/2011

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 9:43 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Yes I've heard about all 3 but luckily my FH and I don't fight about anything. Granted we do have little tiffs here and there but surprisingly they are never about money, sex, or the FIL's. We have a very open relationship regarding talking about sex so whenever we feel the need to discuss something we do it before it becomes an issue. We also both like our FILs. Money isn't an issue right now for us. We both hold separate checking accounts and we split the bills. What's left over goes for our individual purchases and wedding stuff. Now once we are married and the majority of our finances are combined, that will be a learning experience. My FH is definitely the saver in the relationship, but again we will deal with it and figure it out as the time comes.

L'amoureuse

Wedding: 10/10/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 11:36 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
oh my goodness, don't even get me started on this.... But, too late now........ . . Money is our biggest arguement, although we don't really argue about money. It causes stress that causes us to lash out at eachother. Paying tuition sucks and puts a big strain on us. And since he's diabetic, he can't follow many of the money making dreams that he wants to. . Speaking of diabetic, did you know that when you're diabetic you lose major sex drive? yup. There are so many times when I want some intimacy, but he's too drained from just being sick. . . Lastly, his family scolds him for being poor and not being able to take care of himself (although they don't offer help either) and my family is certified schiztophrenic. . . Ahh, the joys of life. But, in the end, all you need is love and the desire to stick together no matter what. In that respect, my life is pretty darn awesome.

JensWill

Wedding: 10/16/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 11:37 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I love his parents, he loves mine. We both earn enough money so that's not an issue either. Sex is not an issue either. I'm beginning to think my relationship is not healthy!

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 07, 2009 at 12:43 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I find it interesting that people mention money would only be a source of arguments if you don't have enough.....I certainly don't find that to be true. I'm know being broke is rough on a relationship, but you can have more money than you need and still have fights about money. Just a point I wanted to make since it was sounding so skewed to me

Tracey

Wedding: 05/22/2011

Posted On: Nov 07, 2009 at 1:52 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Yeah, we fight about those things ... but we also fight about politics and sports! And I agree, Laura, you can still fight about money even if you have plenty!

Bayridgeqt

Wedding: 07/02/2010

Posted On: Nov 07, 2009 at 1:58 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Laura, very true. I'm not saying I have tons of money but in terms of fighting about money, without it being a lack of money, my FH and I fight about how to spend our money. For instance, he wants a huge flat screen tv when he has a perfectly fine 62" tv right now that just isn't flat! Men, can't live with em, can't live without em ;)

HIS_WIFEY_09

Married: 11/14/2009

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 1:20 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree!!! well not fight but dissagree. For us its the Inlaws #1 his family because my family is wonderful and he agrees they respect our relationship and if anything my mom defends him from me! lol Money i do get paid more than him at the time but hes looking for something that will be the same as me, until he joins the police force! yay and well sex he wakes up in the middle of the nite im talking about 3 or 4 in the morning. lol

Sachele D.

Married: 09/18/2009

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 1:31 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
We don't really ever fight about anything. I yell/cry he listens and its over. It is always something stupid too. We are short on money considering we are living on his paycheck alone until I can find a job but it is never a fight just a "we don't really have money for that" kind of thing. I do get frustrated because he never tells me how much we have but we don't fight about it. His family that I don't like he doesn't either and he gets along with my family. We don't fight about sex but I get frustrated because sometimes when I try to be sexy he ignores me but when I wear sweats he is all over me lol So we kind of play fight about it.

Alexis G.

Married: Last year

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 2:34 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Housework/yardwork was our big one - more than money ever has been. I felt since I paid the mortgage and was financially secure, he lived WITH me so he should do more of the housework. Well...that always went over well and I think I'VE changed and been less of a biatch about things. He helps more financially and I don't fight about me wanting to do the yardwork and not housework. I'm fine with housework....i guess :) I seriously hate mopping and love mowing the lawn, fixing gutters, cleaning dog poop, etc. (ok maybe not the poop). Other fights include laundry and furniture arrangement (including territory over the garage - mancave or craftfort!) not sex or in-laws.

AidaLily

Wedding: 05/21/2010

Posted On: Nov 08, 2009 at 2:54 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I would have to say me and my FH argue about all three.. The biggest one being the IN LAWS and then followed closely by money (we have two kids and they are always in need of something). And sex isn't really an argument I guess. Its more of a discussion. But yeah those things definitely come up a lot.

lksmile

Married: 08/09/2009
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Nov 09, 2009 at 10:25 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree that those can be major issues. Honestly we have found that we need to pick our battles. We definately disagree sometimes but honestly its about how you figure stuff out. I have realized i can be annoyed with the inaws but have to be careful what i say to him since it is his family and i would be protective of mine too if he said anything negative about them. Money, just be wise and make sure you set your priorities, bills need to get paid before extra fun and spending. Sex is sex, its great but neither party should have to bed for it. life is too short to argue, take a deep breath and walk away if needed...good luck to everyone!!!

Future Mrs. J

Wedding: 10/09/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 10:44 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Our top one if FINANCES....Mostly because I handle them, then every once in a while he complains he doesn't know what's going on and wants to be involved, so I break out my trusty folder and lay it all out for him. That's about as far as it goes so we fight because he thinks I'm not involving him and I want him to take some initiative. From past experience I know if I leave it in his hands things won't get paid ontime and we won't know where the money is going. We occasionally have in-law issues, mostly because his parents want us to move back to Iowa and I don't really want to. They also want us to have a baby within like 3 years and that just ISN'T GOING TO HAPPEN.

RavenK

Wedding: 09/04/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 12:04 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Ditto Mrs. J----We don't fight about it persay but finances are a regular discussion in our house...he's not used to someone else just taking care of things so it's hard for him not to have a hand in where our money goes...at the same time as soon as I start explaining he interupts me with " I trust you babe...I just wanted to understand" Grr..don't ask if you don't want an answer!!! Mine will pay the bills and eveything but he's so anal sometimes that he will pay extra on stuff that we don't really need to and then cut us short for the week and we end up using the CC. That defeats the purpose to me. :) We know both our families are certifiable so no fights there really....sex is never an issue on either side...we're both kind of freaks so it works out lol We pick at each other more than anything b/c that's the type of ppl we are...we play different than most I think. :)

mandi

Wedding: 03/26/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 1:13 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I've heard this too, we actually don't really fight (which we find scary,... every healthy relationship has some sort of fights right?) . We've discussed all 3 though, the in-laws are going to be the biggest issue though... because his parents will be living next door, and because my parents want to see us ALL the TIME! Finances,... we know it's going to be tight. We know that he's the spender, but we're both very practical. I do the books for his business right now so I guess there's lots of trust there. Sex, well, no fights yet. But definitely lots of talking about different things.

Melissa

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 6

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 1:30 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
We have NEVER "fought" about sex... I am not sure what we would have to fight about and any conversations we have had about it never really escalated into anything more than a conversation... We have fought about both money and in-laws however I think a lot of our fights or mis-communications are just us working out the kinks and getting even more used to one another than we already are. Our financial issues are more about the LACK of money and what to do in stressful situations, the IL issue is trying to deal with the meshing of the two families and what "way" is the best way for US to handle things... we are doing ok though so I am happy!! :)

Aussie Bride

Wedding: 02/07/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 1:35 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Inlaws and money definately lol. Sex we have never fought about though there have been discussions and things to work out but no actual fights. We are slowly dealing with any in laws issues lol and money is slowly getting there so hopefully in the next couple months most of these two things will be sorted.

butterflyflirt01@yahoo.com

Wedding: 08/15/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 1:40 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
with me and my fh its mostly the in laws we live with his family brother sister sisters bf and his dad we all but heads constantly its like every day i told him i want to get a place of our own cause its non stop fighting in the house im so stressed out cause of it the sex and money issue combined takes up like 3% of our fighting so 97% is his family

Future Mrs. G.

Wedding: 06/19/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 1:58 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
me and fh love our in laws, we have similar families. sex doesnt tend to be an issue, and we dont really fight about money, we just have big discussions about it especially because we will be starting to pay off student loans in a matter of months.

Marcy G

Wedding: 05/15/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 2:02 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
me and fh rarely fight but I can't really answer this question Laura because we are not even married yet lol Let's revisit this topic in 5 years and see if our answers are the same, hopefully they :D Statistics say 1/2 of us won't even be married :(

Heidi14

Wedding: 07/03/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 2:09 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with that Laura. We rarely ever fight but when we have like the 1 time it was b/c of finances and when we are going to purchase a house & I know the inlaws will probably be a fight one day. His mom & sister cand drive me crazy!

CelticChick831

Married: 10/17/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 3:02 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
i agree. With money its that he wants to spend spend spend and I evaluate what we need in the future and advise him agains spending and he doesnt like it when I make sence. In-laws, not so much of an issue. Sex is so so, mainly because I never had many partners and have learned most of what I know from him and when he wants to change it up a bit and have me be in control of the change, I dont know how to change. more of a discussion there then fight, but you get the point.

cuteangelfan

Wedding: 04/10/2010

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 4:18 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with some of the ladies on here that say you fight about what to buy..he wants to spend it on his hobbies while i want to pay off the wedding..we did fight about sex once..but not anymore..and we fight about his parents..often. his mom doesnt like me..and it was very difficult to talk to her about the wedding..so now we go to his dad with questions.

Married: 10/17/2009

Posted On: Nov 10, 2009 at 5:06 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
definitely in what areas to spend money...but yeah it's about budgeting too. we are at odds. a lot of "female" things, he says I don't need. oh really?! and yet he can throw money at his friends, who are a bit of freeloaders. definitely allocation of resources is a major issue...other than that, we have not fought about sex and inlaws, as we're very compatible there and with inlaws- we're more independent from our families than not and have similar views regarding their influence on our relationship.

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