stressing--"fh, dear, how do i plan a wedding with no money?!" (rant)
so fh and i have been engaged since april. the wedding is in october. i'm the only one doing /any/ planning right now, and i'm doing it with no money. fh keeps saying he'll get the money, he's about to have it, etc. well, honey, you get paid 500$ a week. just give me 100 or so of it so i can get some stuff done!!! i don't think he gets the fact that our wedding is in 105 days, and that i've got /nothing/ done!
my mom, bless her heart, she's my savior, has promised to contribute 1000$, but she can't give me anything really until the 5th and 20th of each month (that's when she gets paid). so that will help a lot--once the 20th rolls around and i can get started!!!
i'm talking to fh this weekend and asking him to start giving me some money, but if he hem-haws around it, i'm telling him "look, you're the one insisting on having the ceremony" i told him i'd rather go to the courthouse and avoid the stress, but he told me he knows i want the wedding. which was sweet at the time, (cont'd)

Married: 1+ year ago
Posted On: Jul 15, 2011 at 4:15 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 1+ year ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
(cont'd) but now it's not so sweet anymore, now that i have about three or three and a half months to pull a wedding together, and no money with which to do so!!! i'd be more than happy to contribute my own money, but i do not have any. i quit my job so i could stay home with my dad, while my mom is at work.

i just feel like fh doesn't understand that he can't just sit back and watch me ~*~magically!!!~*~ pull a wedding out of my butt. i am not a unicorn, i don't poo skittles. or weddings.

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 1
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
you can still have a really nice and affordable last min. ceremony. Are you guys haveing a reception because thats where the big bucks come in at.

Married: 1+ year ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ ebony: yeah, we're having a small reception. our venue is 100$ for the day, and it includes tables, chairs, etc. we're only having 50 guests at our ceremony/reception, so that's helping us cut costs. and instead of doing a huge dinner, i have our ceremony/reception times sandwiched between noon and 6-7pm, so we can just have a few things to graze on, plus the wedding cake and grooms cake (which i'm diying--my famous german chocolate cheesecake!! [:) i'm still looking for other places i can trim my costs though! currently my entire wedding budget is about 2300.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 2
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
mine keeps asking me if or when im going to do something and I keep saying as soon as you hand me the money to do it.

Married: 1+ year ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ lizzie - my fh won't even ask me that haha. he'll barely even edit his side of the guest list! like i said, it's almost like he expects to roll out of bed on october 28 and discover that i've pooed a wedding!

KRISTINA
Married: 06/21/2014
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH is kinda the same way. I am doing all the researching / coming up with ideas / planning and then I will show him once I got some stuff together and he tells me if he likes it or not, but I have to ask him. His problem is "the wedding isn't until next year... it's too early to plan". He doesn't get that vendors book dates a year in advanced, some up to two years in advanced. I've shown him checklists and pointed to "12 months" and said "see, weddings start at 12 months" and what not... but no such luck. He won't let me book anything until 2012 and our wedding is in May which means I am going to have about 4 months and a week to find all of our venders, get them book and paid and etc. Not to mention to get all the other items I hadn't gotten myself already by that date and all that jazz. I understand why he wants to wait till 2012, I worry I won't be able to pull it all together within 4 months and that makes me consider changing our date to September (our 1st date we had)

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 1
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It took my fh 6 months to pick shoes so dont feel bad

Married: 11/12/2011
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thats terrible. Im a stay at home mom and i was worried that he would be that way. Luckily he set up a seprate checking account as soon as we got engaged and puts money in it every week. But i have been serching for all kinds of things and i am a terribly cheap person. so i suggest that you sign up for all kinds of stores email lists and they send coupons all the time! I never pay full price for anything. You can make it fantastic on a little budget, you just have to do alot more searching!

Married: 1+ year ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:38 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ kristina - my mom's been the same way. she doesn't want me to start planning/buying stuff until august 20! i'm like "mom, do you not realize that i need to get the invites out by the end of /this/ month?" and she just says "no, you'll be fine. my wedding was planned in one month." well, that's just peachy for you, because a, you've told me the only reason you even /had/ a wedding instead of the courthouse was for your own mother, and b, your friend planned the entire thing for you haha. you don't know how long she was even planning it for!
i'm serious, it's like nobody gets it.

@ desi - i'm jealous haha. whenever i bring up the wedding, fh is like "oh, we'll have the money, don't worry" but then i never /see/ any money! i'm like "hey, 'scuse me, wedding?!" "baby, it's okay, we'll have the money!"

and some nights i'll be stressing so hard about it that i'm laying in bed sobbing and he's like "darlin, we'll get it done"
"yeah, if we wanna go to the courthouse!" sigh....
Edited On: Jul 15, 2011 at 4:42 PM

2d Bride ®
Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 10
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:39 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
How about if you just step back out of it, and tell FH that he's the one wanting the bigger wedding, he has to figure out how to plan it and pay for it.

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 14
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am sorry you are going through this but FH JUST started thinking about what we should be doing. When I started planning in January his line was you are doing too much too soon. But now I think he realizes "Oh Snap! The date is coming soon!" They really do not get the event planning thing!

Married: 1+ year ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ 2d bride - lol, if i did that, october 27th would roll around and he'd be like "um... baby.... um... i need HELP." "okay, what do you have done?" "er.... nothing?"

@ edubbsgirl - no kidding! when i vent to my mom about it, she's like "hon, don't talk to him about it. men do not get it, nor will he ever get it. he's going to need a kick up the ass just to show up on time."
i'm starting to realize mama definitely knows best lmao.

April2012Bride
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 2
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I totally understand where you are coming from. We have a plan to save a certain amount each month...but it's so overwhelming to plan something when you have such a tight budget and you don't have the money already in hand. I personally had a melt down last night about it. I'm in the SAME boat as you. It's not fun...but it will all come together, for sure. As long as you plan it out right and save as you have planned...it'll be good!

Married: 1+ year ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ aquilla - yup, hopefully i don't melt down on him again.... he just told me that next week he'll be able to start giving me some money-- yay!! i'm excited to start getting stuff for my diy projects!!

2d Bride ®
Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 10
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well, you could tell him that you're getting married October 27--and that it will be at the courthouse if he hasn't got anything planned/paid for.

Married: 1+ year ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 4:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ 2d - that's probably the plan. if i don't have enough money for even the basics, courthouse it is. i'll buy a cheap little white dress, get my bm's some cute t-shirts in what was to be my wedding colors, and off we'll go!

Beth G
Married: 2+ years ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 5:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
FH are not into spending money if it is not for toys or accessories for their toys.... I just let my FH know that if I end up paying for this by myself.....we will be having an alcohol free reception!

Married: 01/05/2012
Reviews: 1
Jul 15, 2011 at 6:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
FH and I have a joint account.. I actually handle our finances for the most part, remind him to pay his phone bill, and make sure and keep tabs on our account regularly.. We talk about the things we want to spend and when we think we should reserve money so it's a very joint effort.. granted, I am putting my own money in there as well, but it shouldn't be all him saving or all you asking him for money, you two should really discuss a game plan.

Married: 04/27/2012
Reviews: 9
Jul 15, 2011 at 6:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
So sorry you are going through this...I understand we had to cancel our date more than once and I said that this last date (4*27*12) is it even if we have no one there! Lol
I have been nuying my stuff, storing it as well as paying things in small amounts.

Married: 1+ year ago
Jul 15, 2011 at 6:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ bert's girl - that's my plan too--to buy stuff in small amounts. it's not like i'm asking him to give me the entire balance of the budget at once! i'd be perfectly content with 100-150$ a week!
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