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Stressful
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!......I dont care how much you love each other weddings are stressful and you tend to take them out on the one closest to you which happens to be the groom, I seriously need some help on how to stay stress free and stop calling of my wedding every other month because the stress is making me take it out on my fiance. I think I need a Wedding Anger Management class....Any ideas because I need help

Tyffany
Community Headliner

Married: 06/13/2009
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Nov 17, 2008 at 8:06 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

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Posted On: Nov 17, 2008 at 8:44 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
yeah, I have come to the rescue of many brides. Pulling their hair out because they didnt realize planning a wedding require a lot of planning, time and attention to details. So I'm only going to say this once YOU NEED A WEDDING PLANNER.! But search around for a good one and dont be afraid to ask for referrals.
And, Ahhh...here's a thought.....but just let your man be your stress reliever. :-)
Take long walks in the park, put a love not in his wallet just do something together. That will definitely help.
Good Luck!



Bridal Bliss
Community Headliner

Married: 07/09/2010
Posted On: Nov 17, 2008 at 11:38 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Yeah Tyff,
I understand. I found myself tell my man the other day that it was off. But it's a good thing he knows how to know it's stress. The last poster was right. We had to take time (even though we work like crazy to pay for the wedding and never see each other) to just hold each other and have breakfast and talk. We remembered why we want to do this in the first place and we went down a couple of levels of stress. Also, we both took certain things that we would worry about. That helped me chill out!
Anyway girl, let me know how things turn out.
Taie~

Laura K.
Community Megastar

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Posted On: Nov 18, 2008 at 9:08 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
This may sound silly but it worked for us. We knew at the start of planning that there would come a day or a few that the stress would get to us and we would turn on each other instead of being on the same side. We wanted a way to remind us why we are doing this and keep some perspective. So we each wrote "wedding planning vows" and gave them to the other. some of mine to him were: "I vow to remember that as thoughtful as you try to be, you are in fact a MAN and therefore are unable to care deeply about fabrics, colors, and other such "girlie" things. I vow to remember that even if the details get lost in your mind, you truly do care about giving me the most special, memorable day to celebrate joining our lives." One of his to me "I vow to remember that when you get caught up in wedding planning that you’re doing this for us and for our special day and to enhance the moment for our friends, families and guests." If we get frustrated with each other we take these out and read them.

Laura K.
Community Megastar

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Posted On: Nov 18, 2008 at 9:13 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
The vows remind us that we each care. We also have 2 other rules. We have a safety word, if he says it I have to completely drop the subject of the wedding and not bring it up for the rest of the night. This is so that if he has had a rough day at work and doesn't want to think, or if he is just getting fed up with the planning and needs a break I will instantly know and respect that need. He has only used it once and it was perfect. It lets him know he isn't trapped or forced into planning hell and I know when he is ready to be attentive. Second rule, one night a week is off limits to wedding planning. We make it a relaxing date night to let us connect as a couple like always without the stress of the wedding allowed in. We can not mention the wedding at all on this day. We both look forward to it all week as an escape and a chance to recharge. These have worked for us but maybe you guys could come up with your own rules. Talk about when u get most stressed and work it out together.

evergeneva
Community Superstar

Married: 09/06/2009
Reviews: 7
Posted On: Nov 18, 2008 at 12:59 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I love the idea of wedding planning vows... Another idea is to have "wedding-free" dates, days, and/or weekends. So on that date, day, and/or weekend, neither of you are allowed to talk about wedding stuff. Take time to enjoy each other. If one of you brings up wedding stuff on a wedding-free time, you have to do something nice and un-wedding related for the other person.

Event Planner
Community Superstar

Your Day Your Way!
Posted On: Nov 18, 2008 at 7:09 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Tiffany: Planning a wedding is VERY stressful. It's fun in the beginning but as it gets closer, the stress doubles. It sounds like you are very involved and very much in control of your wedding plans. Having a wedding planner to tap into your vision and to be able to carry out your plans, is the best stress-reliever you can give yourself. Even if you've started the planning, a wedding planner can help with what's left, allowing you and your fiance to enjoy and savor your engagement right through your wedding day. You do not lose control with a wedding planner - the ultimate choices and decisions are always yours. And, if you think it's not in your budget, think again. Wedding planners are able to negotiate and get deals that you are not able to get. We can help. We're located in Baltimore. Contact me at Char@yourday--yourway.com for a FREE consultation. www.yourday--yourway.com

Cheryl H.
Community Headliner

Married: 06/20/2009
Posted On: Nov 19, 2008 at 11:25 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Girl, I know exactly how you're feeling. My fiance was deployed shortly after we got engaged and none of my bridesmaids or family live close to me. All that being said, of course I have my moments where I'm exhausted, terrified and just plain frustrated, however, I find thinking of the moment my fiance and I get to look into each other's eyes and say "I do" and just knowing that I get to spend my life with my hero makes all the drama and headaches that come along with the planning process worth it! Now, I think you have to take some time and figure out "what's REALLY important" to the both of you. Try not to let the simple things get to you (easier said tan done, I know) but open & honest communication between the both of you is key to getting through any difficult situation. Try not to lash out at him...not everything is his fault and calling off the wedding shouldn't be done unless you've decided that he's no longer the one you want to be with.
Posted On: Nov 19, 2008 at 12:43 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Tyffany - as a recent 07 bride i know that wedding planning can be stressful, but hers some advice a lady told me, and Im so glad she did.

1) Get a reliable , organized wedding planner- pay them to stress for you! lol.
2)Delegate, Delegate, Delegate- Make a resonable 2 do list for friends, family and your fiance to help you with.
3) Remember, its just one day- have fun, don't freak out if something doesnt go exactly as you planned and most of all Enjoy your day!

Posted On: Nov 19, 2008 at 1:06 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Congratulations!!! If you are not far along with the wedding plans then the best suggestion is to hire a wedding planner! It takes the stress off of you and then you can sit back and enjoy watching your wedding unfold!! A lot of wedding planners have full or partial services, so check some out!

If you do not want to pay a wedding planner, take one thing one step at a time! I don't know how far along you are, but once you secure your reception place, and then everything else gets a little easier. Here are some steps I hope help...
Determine a budget (most important) – You want this and you want to stick to it. This will determine where and what you can afford for your wedding. Reception/ceremony place? Pick color scheme ? Determine flowers and colors? All of these are just suggestions, because I do not know what type of wedding you are planning (simple or extravagant) or how fal along you are. If you need more info, contact me (www.ppbydesign.com) Good Luck & God Bless!

Posted On: Nov 19, 2008 at 3:46 PM
This post has been flagged by the WeddingWire Community and is now hidden.

Laura K.
Community Megastar

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Posted On: Nov 19, 2008 at 3:52 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
One other thing to keep in mind. This should be FUN! This is the only time in your life that you get to do so much for yourself. The only time you will get to be the center of attention and have an entire event planned around your happiness! Try to enjoy it. Whenever I find myself starting to get stressed I stop and remind myself that if it isn't fun I'm doing it wrong. Don't sweat the small stuff and keep the big picture in view, this is about starting a marriage, not table linens and dress colors. When you look back on your wedding planning you will kick yourself for not enjoying the process more since you'll never get to do it again!
Posted On: Nov 20, 2008 at 12:48 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Tyffany, most of the responses have already STRESSED the fact that you need a WEDDING PLANNER! But, I'm sure your question is Why Do You Need A Wedding Planner?
1. STRESS-FREE: Make sure you enjoy your wedding
2. COST: Provide you with discounted and perks from your vendors
3. GO BETWEEN: Act as a go between with vendors and family members
4. WEDDING DAY: Coordinate your wedding day
Posted On: Nov 20, 2008 at 1:36 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. I know at times it may seem you're taking care all of the details of the wedding alone. But you don't have to. If you have family or close friends that care about you, allow them to lend a helping hand. Try to take some 'down-time' just for you. Time to gather your thoughts together. You need that. As women we have a tendency to think we can do it all. We're use to it. Sometimes we can even bring unnecessary stress on ourselves. Learning to deal with situations you face are just a part of life. But during this time of preparation for your wedding don't forget what's really important. Because after it's all said and done - after the cake, after the decorations, after the dresses, it comes down to this - that person you decided to live the rest of your life with.

I hope this has been helpful.


futuremrsramos2010
Community Performer

Married: Recently Married
Posted On: Nov 29, 2008 at 4:49 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with the prior person, you need a wedding planner and you need to learn how to meditate and clear your mind. Don't stress everything will come togetherand all this stress will be over.What ever you do enjoy your wedding day! because it will come and go so quickly and all you will be left with are the memories, so enjoy!

5Senses Events
Community Superstar

5Senses Events Design
Posted On: Nov 30, 2008 at 2:33 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Okay, no. You need to take a step back and figure which part of the wedding planning is being stressful and figure out how to either eliminate it or outsource it.

If you are getting this mad at your husband, then you are not planning a wedding that is authentically representing both you and your husband. When you are doing something that is genuinely of you, then it can be hectic but this kind of stressful, no.

Posted On: Dec 15, 2008 at 12:49 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Tyffany, I would recommend hiring a wedding planner. Planning a wedding is a lot of work and can be stressful. Your wedding planner will handle all the details without you stressing out!

Good Luck!
Annette


Productions By LBB
Community Superstar

Productions By LBB
Posted On: Dec 15, 2008 at 6:19 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I am a wedding planner, and i have to admit that what you are feeling is normal and it could get worst. Getting a planner to assist you is one of the best things you ca do in the stage of planing your wedding. You need to sit back and relax. You should be having fun and concentrating on the real reason you are getting married. If you need any assistance please feel free to contact us. info@aserenewedding.com www.aserenewedding.com

Ghia
Community Headliner

Married: 08/08/2009
Posted On: Dec 30, 2008 at 12:29 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I find myself getting frustrated with my fiance' during my wedding planning. The posts from others have really been helpful. Thanks for posting this.

Muffin
Community Superstar

Married: 07/17/2010
Posted On: Dec 30, 2008 at 2:25 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I know the planning can get really hectic and I gotta admit sometimes I'll be stressing about something I'll ask my FH his opinion in which he gives the generic MAN OPINION: "I dunno" so sometimes I flip the f*ck out on him telling him he doesn't care. Which he retorts saying I'm being psycopathic and way too anal about the wedding. And yes it's true we all take out our emotions and aggressions on those closest to us. But that's when you gotta stop and ask why this person IS the closest to you.

Remember that a wedding is one day out of a lifetime together.

so instead of fighting because your stessed why not move to the bedroom and take out all your aggression and stress on eachother in there.

And beside your man will be more willing to help you with wedding stuff after you give him some sweet lovin and then remind him why he loves you so much...make him a sandwich and give him a beer and have one for yourself too!!

Celebrate your life together. It's already begun...

Posted On: Dec 31, 2008 at 7:57 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
Keep everything in perspective. You're getting married to someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with. No matter how many lillies lay on the tables, or how many menu options there are, the fundamental item of the day is your love for you spouse. Everything else is incidental and should not be viewed on the BIG SCREEN when it's a little thing. I know you want your day to be perfect, but I want your marriage to be perfect. Remember that it's not how much a ring costs, it's about how much love is given along with it.

Don't sweat the small stuff.

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