Shower and Wedding Attendance?
My mom and MIL have invited several people to showers that we were not planning to invite to wedding, but now I feel like we have to. Our guest list was holding firm at 160, now it's up to 215!! We can't afford to feed all these people if they come!!!
The wedding is actually 2.5 hrs from both families- is this considered destination? If so, do different rules apply to who you have to invite?

**(btw- 1 shower has already happened. Invites for the second one have already been sent out)

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 2
Edited On: Jun 27, 2013 at 3:33 PM
Posted On: Jun 27, 2013 at 11:45 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

12 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Amy A.
Married: 08/31/2013
Reviews: 5
Jun 27, 2013 at 11:46 AM • 
This post has been flagged by the WeddingWire Community and is now hidden.

Married: 10/12/2013
Reviews: 1
Jun 27, 2013 at 11:47 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I had a BM invite a person to the shower that wasn't at all on the guest list they thought they were for sure on the list.

so I had to add her, :( it sucks.

I don't think it's a destination hours if 2 hours from where we live. I think destination is a plane ride or a few states from where you live.

Married: 07/12/2013
Reviews: 6
Jun 27, 2013 at 11:48 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't add them to your list just because they decided to invite them to your shower. They will just have to explain to them that they aren't allowed to the wedding....

Out the Window
Married: 05/03/2014
Reviews: 15
Jun 27, 2013 at 11:52 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
What Amy said. Let the moms deal with that drama.

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 8
Jun 27, 2013 at 11:53 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't know what I would if that happened to me. I gave the list of who I wanted invited to my BFF who is planning it. She knows not to invite anyone else. That is just plain ridiculous!

Married: 08/17/2013
Reviews: 8
Jun 27, 2013 at 12:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't add them to your wedding guest list. Don't stress yourself out over the cost and how much a venue can hold. Let the moms deal with it since they invited those people. Not worth it.
Jun 27, 2013 at 12:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
No one gets invited to the shower if they are not invited to the wedding. Period. Don't add them you your guest list. 160 is plenty.

What gets into people?

Married: 08/18/2013
Jun 27, 2013 at 12:32 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Agreed with everyone else. Don't feel like you have to invite them. Let your mom and MIL deal with the fall out.

My mom called me about the shower and mentioned wanting to invite someone to the shower. I had to remind her that this lady is not invited to wedding. (The woman in question is my grandmother's boyfriend's daughter. I've met her several times at family events, and she and my mom have become friends, but she isn't invited to the wedding.) Unless you're having a tiny wedding where most people wouldn't be invited to it, it's rude to invite people who aren't invited to the wedding to the shower. For instance, my sister only invited aunts and uncles to her wedding (we have a large number of cousins), but all of our female cousins were invited to the shower.

Married: 12/27/2014
Jun 27, 2013 at 12:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree. Your Mother and MIL invited them to the shower not you. I would not send them an invitation to either. If either your mother or your MIL ask about their invitations, just let them know you sent out all invitations to the guests you invited.

Married: 04/19/2014
Reviews: 5
Jun 27, 2013 at 1:01 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree.. DO not over extend yourself for someone elses lack of thought..

Married: 08/24/2013
Reviews: 7
Jun 27, 2013 at 1:08 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm assuming shower invites aren't out. Don't let them invite anyone who isn't on your guestlist unless you plan to add them.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 2
Jun 27, 2013 at 3:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
All invites have been sent......what should I do now?

Married: 10/27/2013
Reviews: 7
Jun 27, 2013 at 7:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Only those invites to the wedding should be invited to the shower. It will look bad on the person who invited them if they aren't invited to the wedding. Tell the inviter why they were wrong and let them handle it
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