Style & Decor

Rehersal without the Officiant...HELP!

I know I have a while to worry about this, but our officiant is travelling 1 hour to do our ceremony, I talked to her the other day and she said the way they (she and other couples) do things is: 2 weeks before the wedding, the bride and groom meet with her to go over the ceremony (which the couple can write or use the provided one) And bring the marriage license for her to fill in the witnesses names and what not, But she DOESN'T come down for the rehersal, she doesn't even go for the local cermonies she performs. So, my question is this, what do we do at the rehersal? do we just have the musicans there and the BP and important guests (grandparents and siblings) and do a walk through with the music? Do I have someone pretend to be the officiant? I am so lost! HELP!

Posted On: Nov 2, 2009 at 12:32 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate

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Future Mrs.Schmidt

Wedding: 08/07/2010

21 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Aussie Bride

Wedding: 02/07/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 12:43 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I think you should get a copy of the plan for the ceremony and have someone stand in for her. Perhaps a day of coordinator if there is one with the venue you use. Otherwise a good friend who can read over it and let everyone know the order it goes so that even though the officiant isnt there everyone will know what to expect and how things will be run.

MEG

Wedding: 06/12/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 12:52 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I am not planning on having a rehersal, but then our wedding party is very small and the ceremony very short with no musicans. Similar to you, we will be meeting with our officiant to go through the ceremony beforehand. I plan to have a dinner for close family, the wedding party, and anyone else to helped us to thank them. At that time, I may go over the ceremony with everyone so they know what to expect. If you are having a larger wedding party with musicians, I suggest doing a walk through without the officiant. Have someone narrate the order of events so everyone knows what to expect. Everything will come together on your wedding day.

The Potters

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 1:04 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I think not having the officiant there will be ok. You just need to walk everyone through and show them where to stand. The only people that need to be at rehearsal are the bridal party. If you have the script for the ceremony from your officiant then it should go smoothly. That way everyone will know what to do and when.

CelticChick831

Married: 10/17/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 1:10 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
We almost had to do the same thing because our officiant works another job during the week. We were going to do a full review with him of how things run and make some notes. I was going to have my father in law stand in as the officiant for sake of the rehearsal since he didnt have a huge role in the ceremony itself. We didnt have our music but I did bring a CD to play for everyone so they knew what music they were walking down to. You can do this but organize everything before hand and discuss it with your fill in "officiant". It will be fine.

kate@panachedesign

Panache Design LLC

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 4:37 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
If you would like we can help out with the day of events. We charge $500.00 but would negotiate a cost if it were just helping out with the rehearsal etc. give us a call and we can see how to help you out so you don't need to stress over this. We have done rehearsals before and I am an officiant so if all else fails I can perform the ceremony. Katie panachedesign

studio-g-occasions

studio G occasions

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 5:44 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
A rehearsal is always a good idea - with or without the officiant. That way, everyone knows where they need to be (no excuses for being late!) where they need to stand and what they are expected to do. I have conducted many rehearsals without the officiant. Start with everyone where they will be standing, then practice the recessional, then the processional & giving away & move to platform, then the recessional again. If you have a coordinator or site manager, they should be able to help you out there.

Future Mrs.Schmidt

Wedding: 08/07/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 6:03 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Our ceremony is at my parents, No corridnators! So I think we'll just start from the top, and then instead of going over everything in the ceremony we will do "who gives this bride?" then just point form from there, ie: "intro, reading, exchange of vows, exhchange or rings, YOU MAY KISS THE BRIDE!" then direct people where they are to go..I and cross my fingers!

Aussie Bride

Wedding: 02/07/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 6:05 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I think that sounds like a great plan.

Lisa G.

Lisa Gordon Events

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 7:30 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
It sounds like you've made up your mind, but may I offer some different advice? At the rehearsal, I strongly recommend that you do not go through the ceremony at all. Your officiant will handle that on the day of the wedding and you won't have to worry about it at all. You don't actually need to rehearse the ceremony. It will make the actual ceremony much more special if you don't try to rehearse it. Instead, just practice the processional and the recessional. Start with everyone in the place they will stand for the ceremony. Make sure it's a pretty picture with everyone standing there. Then walk the processional so everyone is comfortable getting into position; and walk the recessional so everyone remembers who to walk with. It should take only half an hour or 45 minutes. And that is all you need to do. I've done many rehearsals exactly this way and it always works out fine. Best of luck!

Rev. Carleen

"With This Ring" Wedding Ceremonies

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 11:06 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I never go word for word through a rehearsal. Rehearsal is all about logistics: who stands where, what order to come in, how fast not to walk (leaving room between people for photo pics), etc. I do "go through the ceremony, but just stating next is this, next is that, and giving word "cues", for instance the bestman should listen for this and that is when to reach for the rings. If you have your program, that should suffice. If you have any unity pieces or readings, those people need to know what they follow. Decisions are made about those elements to avoid looking lost on the big day. Like, will mom's light the taper candles when they are seated or just before you light the unity, etc? Will men and women in the wedding party come in together or ladies enter alone, but exit with the men? Will you have a receiving line? How will guests be dismissed?

Meta

Floral Designs by Meta

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 12:51 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Officiants normally do not attend the rehearsal.. There are meetings/counseling sessions prior to the ceremony during which the ceremony is discussed. The rehearsal is conducted by either the site coordinator or by a coordinator that you hire. Most professional coordinators have a day of or day of and wedding day packages. You really just need someone to instruct your bridal party as to when to enter the room, in what order and to what music. There should be some one sending the party down the aisle and cueing the musician/dj.

Rev. Carleen

"With This Ring" Wedding Ceremonies

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 7:15 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I must disagree with you Meta. I attend quite alot of rehearsals, always for the weddings with 3 or more attendants per side and numerous extras in the wedding, like readings, unity piece, etc. I only don't do rehearsal for the small weddings that don't need one, and I arrive early to give cues to those that need it. Private ceremonies don't need anything ahead. I probably attended rehearsal of half the ceremonies I conducted. I had a couple of weddings that had a rehearsal without me, but only because they got a rehearsal sheet from me because they wanted to save on having me make the drive and I had weddings the night of their rehearsal.

studio-g-occasions

studio G occasions

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 7:21 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I find that more often than not the officiant IS at the reahearsal, but rarely do they go throught it word for word. And Lisa G is rIght - it really works best to start with everyone standing where they'll be (trust us, we've done this many, many times!) Two run throughs is generally adequate for most groups.

revcatey

Rev. Catherine Black-Ward

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 8:26 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I especially think a rehearsal is in order when small children are participating in the ceremony ie: flower girl, ring bearer. As an officiant, I nearly always conduct the rehearsal according to the bride's vision. There are so many options as to how the processional and reccesional can go, sometimes the bride and groom have not even thought about what order their attendants will enter etc. until the rehearsal. With the children: they take their jobs very seriously and like to know what to expect. Then they can keep everyone else in line LOL.

Future Mrs.Schmidt

Wedding: 08/07/2010

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 10:32 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I hadn't planned on going throught it word for word, just Point form of the highlights of the ceremony, so people know when to take bouquets, etc.. But Thanks everyone! I'm not stressed over it, but that may change at rehersal!

Amy C.

Wedding: 06/05/2010

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 11:10 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
i am in the same boat but i dont even getting a meeting befor lol my wedding plannier is going to email so i am thinking of just doing a run through r selfs just so it want be so lost the day of

Not-A-Bridezilla

Wedding: 05/15/2010

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 11:53 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I guess it sounds like everything is set-- so that great! I might suggest however that at this time you should put your MOH in charge with a notebook. Tell her what you want from the ceremony, what order people should come in, etc... odds are that your wedding party will be all together while you are getting ready to go down the aisle... so she can take that time to get everyone set in place before they start walking. Just a thought!

Jessica Sorensen

Married: 09/12/2009

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 11:59 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
when we got married our justice of the peace couldnt make it either. so it was just us and the bridal party. we just wanted to time everything to the music, show the flower girls where they were walking and to get a feel for how we'd be standing inside the gazebo. prior to all this we had sat down with our jp and given her a written copy of the ceremony.

vallynn1983

Happy Tears Weddings

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:22 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
If your officiant is a professional, then they do not need to be at the rehearsal. Many of my officiants do not attend or charge extra for being there. The important things are for your bridal party, musicians, readers, etc. to know where they are. If you write down the order of events or have a program you can send one ahead of time to the officiant so that he/she knows what all you are having and when. The Officiant should already know where to be and when.

Alafia

Alafia Ceremonies LLC

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 1:57 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
As an Officiant personally the rehearsal is important. It is more than just walking in out. It is about timing, cue's, seating of the Grandparents, Parents, Ushers and their roles, when guests should stand and be seated and the Ceremony. I do not not go into detail during the ceremony however it is important when the escort of the bride reaches the "altar site" what words will be exchanged and the Groom & Bride taking their place. It is important for the readers to know where to stand, where the unity/sand ceremony will be placed, the ushers roles, if ringbearer flower girl will they take a seat or stand, who will have the rings and handling of them etc. The timing of the music who walks and when, the recessional leaving and when the officiant leaves etc. The rehearsal is the time to work out all of the small logistics, and give everyone confidence. It also gives the Officiant the chance to see the site, meet everyone, will mic be used etc. and give a sense of caring and confidence!

Rev. Carleen

"With This Ring" Wedding Ceremonies

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 8:57 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
If your officiant is a professional, then they do not need to be at the rehearsal. ~ Happy Tears, I find this a bit offensive. I am every bit the professional (my reviews speak for themselves). The rehearsal is not for me, it is run by me, for the couples comfort level. I ask the important questions that they didn't consider. I meet the family and wedding party. It is almost always necessary for a larger wedding party (three or more attendants per side) and, as Rev. Catherine stated, those with children. They feel more comfortable coming down the aisle when they've met me ahead of time. In the very few larger ones I couldn't attend, I sent ahead a rehearsal layout for the couple and they were able to conduct the rehearsal without me. Because they had the proper info from me and the questions I needed answers to given with the way they should do it based on those answers, it went smoothly. They were grateful.

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