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..people just talking about us, not wanting us to get married....

I usually dont post on here, but i am going through, some say that the comments have just started.... so one of my bridesmaids to be, told me that she doesnt like my FH & never has, she thinks that i could do better, that he has bagge & that he cant take care of me. YES he has 2 kids, but i have been around since one was 6 months, and the other was 2 almost 3... BUT who cares. They just think that i am settling because he has kids & ill never be first.. To me, i know that kids come before me.. BUT i am first in another way, if that makes sense, no adult or whatever comes before me. i am right there in the front. ( i personally dont even think like that ) but i know some do... so i am like ok. i dont expect that, the baby girl calls me mama, she still y oung, but i been around since the jump, lets just say... his baby momma is what you stero-typical baby daddy. So there is no drama no nothing, just always want us to have the kids, which is A-O-K with me, i love those kids to death & my friends just hate, the fact that we live together, that i am playing house and momma.. and it just gets too me... and to top it off, we work together, but on the other side of the building people (females) are talking hot shit about me... saying that im ugly and this and that, which is normal... some dont like that its an interracial relationship & that mess, which is commons sometimes, but i jsut have had it... i broke down crying yesterday, i told him that some of my friends arent happy for us... and that my lose friends acting, and that this shit at work.. idk.. its crazy. I just had to vent ... i love him though. So i dont care, i do find us hanging with our older friends that are married and settled and its just peaceful and fun... UGH why me!! does this always happen, or is this just me and some of my jacked up friends!?!

Alexa

Married: 08/21/2010

Posted On: Nov 4, 2009 at 12:19 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

42 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

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Soon2BeWifey

Married: 1+ year ago

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:24 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Like you said... "Who Cares?!" If YOU are happy then don't let it get to you! You're never going to have everyone happy for you no matter how much you try. Just live your life how you want to

Nathalie D.

Married: Recently Married

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:25 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Try not to let the stress get to you babe. Its your day and you are planning your wedding because you BOTH chose to spend the rest of your lives together. F***K what anyone else has to say. They seem like they are jealous anyway. Furthermore, his children are yours also. You are the stepmom, and if they love you and respect you there is nothing that ANYONE can say to you about how you are taking care of them. I mean come on! People are so damn petty now a days. You love your man, you love his children, and you will be one big happy loving family so tell everyone "Thank you for your opinion but i'm happy" and keep it moving! By the way...you are a beautiful woman...don't let ANYONE tell you otherwise!!!!!!!

Analy aka T-waffle

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 6

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:26 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
These "friends" don't sound like friends at all!!

erikatarrance

Married: 07/23/2010
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:26 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
People will always have something to say as long as you are happy and respected thats all that matters. I notice that some of my firneds started to act funny once I was engaged, I hate to think its all jealousy but that always seems to be the first word that comes to mind when I think of there new attitudes. I know it may be hard but ignore than and keep the negative engery out of your life.

Soon2BeWifey

Married: 1+ year ago

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:29 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
By the way - your ring is freaking gorgeous! And I love the story of how you two met!

CelticChick831

Married: 10/17/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:31 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I think you are in a very health relationship and you have a very realistic view of your new "family". For so many relationships where one side has kids you see a internal fight for attention and you have excepted and understand that his kids will always come first to him but also know that you come before any other outsider to him as well. Kids are a blessing and it sound like they need a mother figure like you and you are doing a wonderful job filling that. Not many people have the guts, nerve and ability to fill the shoes you have taken on. Your friends might not realize how your relationship is different from some relationships we witness and are worried for you, but are just not expressing it well. As for co-workers, they are not your friends and are not trying to make themselves friends either. Screw them. I think you are beautiful and you have a lot of good ahead of you. Look at what you have and be proud and happy for that. Those other girls are just jealous. LOL

Alexis G.

Married: 2+ years ago

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:41 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
As a mom, who married a man without kids...I felt weird with the fact that he was "settling" on us. BUT his friends and his family and he have NEVER ever felt that way or said anything about me having my child, other than what a blessing my son is. They've never treated my son differently than if it were his own child. That being said - you've gotta figure out your friendships.."close" friends don't always stay that way. Even if she feels that way...keep it to herself and be supportive. AND People are ignorant - race and "traditional" concepts of marriage are dinasauric and that justice of the peace who wouldn't marry that couple recently that's all over the news...might just change his mind because his hatred has ruined his life and reputation - he just ended his career and is getting sued. There are people who will celebrate each union as a victory for civil rights and how true love can conquer ignorance and hatred. Ok...stepping off my CHEESEY soapbox now...

TinkerBell

Married: 02/13/2011

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:41 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
It's so unfortunate that people always talk negative things about others. The most important thing is that you and your FH are happy!! You knew when you got into the relationship that he had children and you accepted it. It was a package deal. It was your decision and no one elses. Ignore them!! People get really jealous when they see others that are happy! Alot of times it comes from the people that are closest to us. Enjoy your planning and your life! Don't let anyone ruin your plans or your future!!! Wishing you all of the best! By the way, your a beautiful and intelligent woman!! Don't ever forget that!

Alexa

Married: 08/21/2010

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:42 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
AWWW thanks everyone... its just stressful how people always have something to say , and im like wow.. the funny thing about this,, is that the people at work that are talking are not even on the same side of us.. its crazy.. it makes no sense.... as far as my friends i mean, my best friend dont even talk to me anymore, because im stupid and its just that i have no responsibility and that why would i settle with someone who has kids & its just crazy to me.. me and him want 2 more kids, like i love the kids, those are my babies when we get them.. i dont care what anyone says... its just he told me about a month ago, jsut watch people are going to start talking mess because your happy and im hapy and that is just how is goes. Some of his friends, didnt say anything like nothing when he told them that he was engaged. It was crazy.. UGH why! I told him lastnight that i didnt want a wedding lets just go to the courthouse and get married. and he was like no, we will have family and few selected friends lex, dont let people ruin this for you.

sweet_firefly

Married: 11/14/2009
Reviews: 10

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:43 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
What's important is that you are true to yourself and your feelings. If you love your man and he loves you, that's all that matters (kinda cheese and generalized, but you get the point). I can kinda see what your friends concerns might be. It's easy for someone outside the relationship to have opinions and comment on it. But they don't really know the relationship like the two of you do. Your friends might just be concerned that you have to "compete" for his affection with his kids. A good friend will voice their concerns, but will support you in your choices. As far as other people (aka haters) are concerned, try not to let them get to you. Some people are just insecure and jealous, and they take it out on other people. Most of the time, it's not personal.

CelticChick831

Married: 10/17/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 12:51 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
he is right. Have the wedding you want, even if its just you two and the kids standing up there. enjoy your day.

ChancesAre4u

Married: Recently Married

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 1:06 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Brush the HATERS off. You know what you want and he knows what he wants, some people just don't want to see anyone happy. Misery loves company! Your FH is right, don't let anyone ruin your happiness, his happiness or the wedding you want. (hugs)

FMS, the barefoot wife!

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 11

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 1:21 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
It sounds like your 'friends' aren't friends at all (this goes for your co-workers also), and are most likely jelaous of your relationship and the life you are starting with your FH and his kids, (Which, by the way, checked out your photos and you guys look great and those kids are a.d.o.r.e.a.b.l.e!!) If anyone makes comments to you, Just smile and say "I'm sorry you feel that way, But I'm not sorry that I am happy, in a healthy relationship with a man I love dearly, and children that I think of as my own, perhaps, one day, you can learn to love and be loved like me, if you can learn to not be judgemental" AND you are BEAUTIFUL! Why on earth they would call you ugly? Perhaps because they are jealous of your looks (I saw this on a talk show, women only trash talk about another womans body ie: calling them sluts and ho's, when they are jealous of their 'assets' and the attention they can get.) If 'friends' don't get the hint, I would say just dump them all together as friends. CON'T

FMS, the barefoot wife!

Married: 1+ year ago
Reviews: 11

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 1:23 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I wouldn't want that negitivity in my life or at our wedding. I'm happy your in love and in a mature realtionship. Obviously your 'freinds' and co-workers aren't mature enough for one, or, are in one and it's not what it's cracked up to be and they're jealous of your relationship..

Comeaux824

Married: 07/31/2010

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 1:29 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
All you need is LOVE and if you love him then WHO CARES what anyone has to say!!!! Good luck girl! Dont let them get to you!!!

reddiva22

Married: 1+ year ago

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 1:36 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Lexa, Don't you worry about those ppl, just let them go, they are not worth your time or thought. I know how hard it is though to not care about ppl's opinions and to be hurt by what ppl say, trust me, been there done that... LOL. Lets just say that I got into an argument with FH's friends cause they said that "FH should be more decent and call his friends back" needless to say I went on a rampage, LOL! I was POED that they said that, then we exchanged emails, and I admit, looking back it was very immature, and ridiculous! Anyways, so basically she called me a bitch.... wasn't too fun, but you learn to brush it off and move on, Yes I am still upset about it but I have not talked to her in a long time, and I couldn't be happier.

Rev. Carleen Burns

"With This Ring" Wedding Ceremonies

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 2:02 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
The best "revenge" is to be happy and successful. You have that with him, so go live your life. There will always be petty jealousy in offices. You are only there to make a paycheck, not be anyone's BFF. Its great when that happens, but I think your reason for being there was to put you in your FH's life, first and foremost.

reddiva22

Married: 1+ year ago

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 2:03 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with REV CARLEEN 110%!!! Well said!!!

Shell

Married: 06/27/2009
Reviews: 1

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 2:12 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
why is this girl a BM if she doesnt agree with you guys getting married?? your wedding party is supposed to stand with you and be there for you and be supportive of your marriage. why did she agree to do that and then tell you she doesnt agree with you getting married??

Alexis G.

Married: 2+ years ago

Posted On: Nov 04, 2009 at 2:40 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Ditto Shell. We ended up "kicking" a groomsman out of the wedding because he didn't agree with my man marrying me because I was a B*&@!. It was a stressful, tearfilled, decision but WW girls helped me get through it and my hubby and I are happily married now!

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