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well his brother is just blowing off steam yes he was out of line and as for your hubby comment for some people not alot changes. for me it was my last name b/c we lived togther for a year before we got married so when we got back from the honeymoon we just went back to normal.

No, don't loose it!!!! Just remind him of all the reason(s) you and him have been together for nine years.

ugh, i hear ya sister. but you know, guys blow off steam in different ways than we do. maybe your fh just wanted to say something to him, that would make his brother feel like their fight was not big deal, that it would blow over. therefore, by saying how long you'd been together, and that it wouldn't make much difference, meant something more along the lines of "we've been together long enough, that being MARRIED isn't going to change much". he's not putting down your relationship, he's more or less showing his brother how strong it can be. i'm sure there's an underlying tone in the conversation, that he projected to his brother, which read along the lines of "ya know, if you just figure out the problem, it'll get better in the long run" if that makes sense ;) don't freak out. fh and i have had friends tell us the same thing your fh said to his brother. that we've been together for 4 1/2 years, would marriage make much of a difference? and to us, no it wouldn't really. it'll ok be ok!

They're men....forgive them for they know not what they do or say until an intelligent woman throws a shoe at their heads.

libra, you're too funny! as they say, the fit will hit the shan!!! then, they're sometimes too slow to duck anyways ;)

Future Mrs M -- Don't scream aloud (share your frustration with close friends or like you're doing here on WWire forums) but don't yell at your husband about it, if you can at all avoid it. Why? Because that will only make matters worse.

Rightly or wrong, your FH's brother had a quarrel with HIS wife. You don't want to that to turn into a quarrel your YOUR FH! Just like if your future brother-in-law and his wife caught the flu, you don't want to come down with the flu yourself, right?

It's not uncommon for even the best of man to get "cold feet" in the months leading up to the wedding. Try to convey warmth to him and those cold feet will stay nice and toasty!

LOL @ Libragurl.. thats hilarious and so so true!

I think a guys way of ranting is to make a joke of the situation... and figure it this way, i'm sure there are sometimes you talk with your girlfriends and you blow off steam about your FH.. if not.. well, i know I do! lol

I hope you guys have made up by now.. xoxo

Men tend to say exactly what they think. They do not read into things like women do. He probalby meant that things are just fine the way they are and that getting married is not going to make things worse. I tend to read more into what my husband says when there is nothing to read into it! Happy Planning!

My husband and I lived together for a year and half before our wedding. While having the wedding was really important to us, on a day-to-day basis - nothing did change - we didn't want it to.

Fights usually get started over day-to-day issues - chores, money, kids, sex, how people spend their time, feeling listened to, respected, etc. If you've been together for 9 years, you and your FH are hardly going in blind about what kinds of things you are likely to fight about. It sounds like your FH was saying to his brother - "Look, I know what I'm doing. There aren't any surprises here. I know her, I know what we are likely to fight about it, and I am completely ok with that and excited to be married to her. Your situation doesn't apply to me."

And it doesn't, and that's the point.

Be angry for a moment, but move on. Makes no sense to stop your future plans because when brother-in-law is back happy as a lark with his wife, you two will be on the outs & no one will give a damn. Let his brother say what he wants, but let your FH know... he is NOT his brother!

Just so that I can be sure I am making sense here. FH didn't say that to BIL he said that to me, as if to say he has cold feet or something. And I don't want everytime someone has a problem in their relationship that he gets cold feet. I am secure in our relationship but that is very frustrating to have to point out to FH all the good things about our relationship.