Officiant vs. ordained loved one
I have a couple discussion topics:
1.) What are your thoughts on asking a friend or family member to get ordained online and perform the ceremony?
2.) What are reliable, reputable Web sites that can ordain that person inexpensively? (I like www.universalministries.com, but I don't know how "official" it is.)
3.) I want to ask my uncle to do it, but we live in different states. If he gets ordained in California, can he perform weddings in Arizona? How does that work?

Married: 10/11/2009
Reviews: 2
Posted On: Apr 18, 2008 at 2:30 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 05/10/2008
Apr 18, 2008 at 10:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It depends more on what the requirements are in Arizona. Some states do not recognize the online ordained ministers, but most do. My fiance is actually ordained and he married our friends, and our friend is also ordained and is doing the same for us! I think it's great, it makes it very personal, and it gives you the freedom to do whatever you want for the ceremony. I think that if you aren't practicing in a church, or don't feel close to a minister, having a friend or family member do it for you is a great alternative!

Our men (my fiance and his friend) are ordained from the Universal Life Church online, and it's totally legit.

Married: 09/06/2009
Reviews: 8
Apr 19, 2008 at 12:28 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
My fiance's father is going to lead our ceremony, which I think makes it more personal and meaningful for us. It is absolutely the right decision for us. In California, anyone can be deputized to perform one ceremony for a fee that is exactly the same fee if you get married at the courthouse, and this is what we are having him do. I looked into similar options in Arizona, and there doesn't seem to be anything. However, if your uncle gets ordained in California, it doesn't seem like it will be a problem. Check out http://www.azleg.state.az.us/FormatDocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/25/00124.htm&Title=25&DocType=ARS and http://www.azleg.state.az.us/FormatDocument.asp?inDoc=/ars/25/00111.htm&Title=25&DocType=ARS. I hope this helps and good luck!

Married: 05/11/2008
Reviews: 5
Apr 20, 2008 at 4:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm not sure how online ordainment and all that works, but we've decided to have a good friend of our perform the ceremony instead of an officiant. We're getting married in Colorado, and here they allow the couples to self-solemnize the license, instead of requiring an officiant. So my fiance and I are going to technically be the ones officiating the license but we're having our friend read the ceremony for us. I think it makes it a little more special having someone we know do it for us.

Married: 09/19/2009
Reviews: 6
Apr 20, 2008 at 10:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Here's a kicker. My sister is actually an ordained priest. When she was ordained 6 years ago, I knew then and there that I wanted her to be the one to marry me (some day). Now that a wedding is in the works -- I spoke to her about it -- and she refused. She started making up a bunch of excuses (she's from Canada - the wedding is in the US, she'd have to get permission from the Bishop of the diocese, yadda, yadda, yadda). I'm heartbroken by her decision and just hope I'll be over it by the wedding.

Married: 07/06/2007
Reviews: 5
Apr 22, 2008 at 9:55 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I had our family friend marry us, he was our youth pastor for some time and say us grow up together, so we found it appropiate. The thing was he was not ordained, and was not able to get ordained until he finished some church requirement which would have taken another year. Anyway, he still married us, but obviously he wasn't able to sign the licesne. We had a civil marriage 2days prior. That also an option, and really does not make your ceremony any less meaningful or special. We certainly did not see the civil one as really getting married.
Apr 22, 2008 at 10:03 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Many of the officiates I work with, started out exactly this way, provided a ceremony for a family member and loved it, decided to start their own wedding business. The important thing is to know the laws in your state and if they allow officates to perform ceremonies. Getting ordained on line is the easy part. The hard part is learning "how" to perform a ceremony that makes sense, is legal and is what you want. Experience is everything when it comes to that part. If you decide you want an officiate contact me and I will post your request on a site that assists couple to find an offiicate in their area. Congrats! and Best Wishes with whatever you decide to do. Rev Sandy, Maryland (Referral Officer for Region 6, American Association of Wedding Officiants)

Married: 04/26/2008
Reviews: 7
Apr 22, 2008 at 12:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
While I think that having a family member perform your ceremony can be a very special and personal experience, I think it could also be a disaster. You'll want to make sure (in addition to all the legal stuff) that it's someone who you trust to write and deliver a beautiful speech. Is your uncle comfortable in front of people? Will he give a good "performance"? You wouln't want someone who will stutter through it and get shy, or the opposite (maybe worse!) and over act it and attract too much attention to themselves. A professional officiant would be likely to deliver a quality ceremony. You just want to make sure that your family member can do the same. If so, I think it could make your day even more special.

Congratulations and good luck!

Married: 12/25/2011
Apr 23, 2008 at 9:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Lisa,

Call your sister and tell her you're heartbroken over her decision. Let yourself feel emotional when talking to her and don't cover it up with humor. She probably doesn't get how important this is to you.

Breidie

Married: 06/07/2008
Apr 25, 2008 at 11:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Ok so I am having my fiance's uncle marry us. We live in cali...and he can become a deputy marriage commisioner for 1 day. its 50bucks.....go to where you would get your marriage license in az and ask what their rules are!!!
May 20, 2008 at 5:52 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We were "married" by my uncle, but had a legal wedding with a judge the day before. In Texas, you have to be ordained...and I didn't really want to ask him to do that. So that was our solution. It was kind of fun, having two weddings. I know other states are more lax, though.

One thing to note is that you'll probably want to write your own "script" because unlike a regular officiant, your loved one probably won't have any experience with this. For writing, Google is your friend. That was fun, too, and I'm really happy with the way our ceremony turned out, using my own words.

Anyway, my uncle did a great job and he was really honored to do it. I'm so glad we asked him!
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