No kids at the ceremony and reception ...
We are having a "no kids" reception, therefore, the invite indicates "Adult reception to follow" (after the ceremony). My fiance indicated that we will need to state somewhere on the invite "no kids at the ceremony" either ... since we are having a videographer for our ceremony, he does make a good point of not wanting fussy/crying kids to ruin the video sound. My question is how do you state that on the invite? I was thinking of doing some sort of insert that can state that bit of information, but do you think that will be too much? Or would it be safe to assume that if the guests see "adult reception to follow", they will not bring their kids to the ceremony? Please help!

Married: 06/18/2011
Posted On: Feb 1, 2011 at 11:08 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Feb 01, 2011 at 11:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think the insert should be fine but it won't guarantee the "no kids", my friend did the same thing for her wedding last year and still about 15 guests brought their kids to the reception.

I don't want kids there either, but since our invites will be electronic, I plan to clearly emphasize on that.

Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Feb 01, 2011 at 11:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'd state "Adults Only Reception to Follow" On the RSVP card, put the exact number of seats that have been reserved in the parent's honor- which does not include the additional number for children. You may get a few phone calls though..

Married: 06/18/2011
Feb 01, 2011 at 11:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks for the info, Patricia J! I guess that the insert won't be a bad idea, and I can include other miscellaneous information on there too. Hopefully people will get the message, but like you said, it's not a guarantee. (sigh)

Married: 09/21/2013
Feb 01, 2011 at 11:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
When you have to pay $20 for each plate does that include the family member or friend that has 5 kids???
Edited On: Feb 01, 2011 at 11:27 PM

Married: 06/18/2011
Feb 01, 2011 at 11:27 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ Meghan ... I actually have that on my RSVP too! I'm doing my own invites, so I actually UNDERLINED and BOLD the exact number of seats to emphasize that, so that was another hint. haha! But like Patricia J mentioned, it's not a guarantee.

Married: 09/17/2011
Reviews: 6
Feb 02, 2011 at 12:56 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm putting an age limit on children (1 yr old to 12 yr old are not invited) and number of seats reserved on my RSVP's as well. I haven't decided how strongly worded I will make it, but FH's cousins have kids and don't seem to be all that respectful so IF they come I imagine they'll be rude and bring the kids anyway...well maybe I'll strongly word the whole "No Kids" thing on my wedding website. I'm making infants (under 1 yr) an exception since parent's probably don't want to leave them and also two of my BM's are pregnant :D I don't mind babies, but kids who can throw tantrums, climb around under tables, or potentially drown in the creek by the reception tent are too much to handle. Plus it's a wedding, why people bring kids to these things I have no clue :P (unless the kids are the bride's and/or groom's that is).
Edited On: Feb 02, 2011 at 12:57 AM

Married: 02/11/2010
Feb 02, 2011 at 8:08 AM • 
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Married: 04/10/2010
Reviews: 7
Feb 02, 2011 at 9:03 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Address your invitations to ONLY the people you plan to invite - Mr. and Mrs. Smith and not The Smith Family. If they RSVP with their children then you will just have to call them and politely explain that children aren't invited.

We had an adult only reception and only one person RSVPed with their child. I called and explained the situation and they were fine with it!

Married: 07/30/2011
Reviews: 6
Feb 02, 2011 at 9:14 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We're spreading the word on our wedding website and through word of mouth, but we're also having babysitters at the ceremony and reception location. I am expecting 2 babies, but any other children who show up will be escorted (by their parents or the ushers) to the babysitters' room.
In theory, the only people who are supposed to show up are the ones whose names on the invitation. People don't always follow etiquette, though...

Mrs. Boat
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Feb 02, 2011 at 9:25 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I did what Meghan suggested. I put "adult only event" on the invite, and then on the RSVP I put exact # of ppl invited and "Although we love children, our ceremony and reception are adults only events".

Shannon S.
Married: 2+ years ago
Feb 02, 2011 at 9:35 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We used word of mouth, "___ seats are reserved in your honor" on the RSVP card, and this wording on the website:

"Please note that (venue) is licensed as a tavern. As such, all guests must be 21 or over and should bring ID. While children are a joy and a blessing, we will unfortunately be unable to accommodate them at the reception. If you are coming from out of town, please contact Shannon and Brandon for babysitting recommendations."

In other words, don't bring your freakin' baby to the bar.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Feb 02, 2011 at 9:47 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hey! we are having an adult only wedding as well for many reasons-- and we plan on stating at the bottom of the invite either *ADULTS ONLY* or *18 and over only please*

I like how Shannon put it-- I think Ill write it down so I remember when the time comes to do invites :)

I have a big Italian family with gossip and Italian meat balls being their two favorite things in the world. Work of mouth will def. suffice, but we wont be able to permit any children even if they are brought by their parents. FS doesn't have any cousins or children on his side other than his siblings, I on the other hand am the oldest cousin and all 10 of my cousins are between 3-14 and are by far the WORST behaved children I have ever met. I love them, they are family, but even this Christmas it was way to out of hand for me and I wont feel bad turning anyway away if they cant respect our wishes.

Married: 06/18/2011
Feb 02, 2011 at 12:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
THANK YOU to all of you and your suggestions and input! I really appreciate it! I have an idea of what to do, but will ask again if I need anything else. You guys are great! :-)

Married: 06/26/2011
Reviews: 9
Feb 02, 2011 at 12:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm glad you asked this question, Jamie! I jotted down some notes for what to do our invitations & RSVPs as we haven't done those yet. Our wedding website does say, under Information:

Children: Due to space constraints, we regret to inform you that we will be unable to accomodate any children under age fifteen. However, we would be happy to provide you with a list of independent childcare professionals located near New Paltz.

Married: 05/06/2011
Reviews: 5
Feb 02, 2011 at 12:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
i have already had a few family members call me and ask, i told them no just b/c if i say yes to one, i have to say yes to everyone...and then we would be having a kids table which i don't want.

I put on the wedding website that the reception would be no children. The only child there will be the flower girl and her mother has already said that she would be leaving before dinner to get her in bed.
Feb 02, 2011 at 2:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
stay firm on it. I like Patricia P's idea too; it's gracious and polite, but it also offers and alternative suggestion. Bravo!

Oh So
Married: 06/05/2011
Feb 02, 2011 at 2:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Adult reception to follow is very common and understandable. You may also want to write how many seats you reserved for each family or something ;)

Oh So
Married: 06/05/2011
Feb 02, 2011 at 2:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Adult reception to follow is very common and understandable. You may also want to write how many seats you reserved for each family or something ;)

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 18
Feb 02, 2011 at 2:48 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We will not be putting adults only, as it isn't an age thing, but rather an offspring thing. The tone of our evening is adult in nature, having offspring around would change the vibe of our DW. The laid back friends turn on the parent buttons. I will be putting the number of reserved seats on the RSVP card and of course, will only be addressing the invite to the guest.

A friend of the FH is trying to back door our policy. She has a 20 and 16 year old, and plans on coming to Vermont, and staying at a different inn. She is free to do so, but she is not free to bring them to the Inn for the welcome dinner or our reception. Heck, the FH's grandkids are not even invited.

Married: 06/18/2011
Feb 02, 2011 at 4:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yes, my FMI has done the word of mouth to her sister-in-law, as she has children under 21, and she totally understands. Going back to what Jessica said (5 posts up), that's what we don't want to happen: if people bring kids, especially the young ones, the parents will have to leave early to get them into bed. :-( We want our guests to party it up and help us celebrate this event with us! We piad for the space for a certain time, so we should take advantage of it.

There's been a lot of responses to the reception part of things, but what about the ceremony? How do you try to prevent guests from bringing their kids to the ceremony? Any advice on the wording for the invite?
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