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No gifts please

My fiance thinks it's very important to let people know that we're not expecting gifts at our wedding (because it's a second marriage for us both). I, however, am very uncomfortable with saying this directly as I am from the school of thought that equates putting "no gifts please" right up there on the tackiness level with including registry info on an invite. Also, I think it's sorta odd to tell people not to give you a gift. I mean, I'm not expecting them, and I wouldn't think less of someone for not giving us a gift, but if someone wants to give us a wedding gift, I think it's weird to tell them that we don't want their gift. Any comments or suggestions on how to handle this?

3.6.10Bride

Married: 03/06/2010
Reviews: 2

Posted On: Nov 6, 2009 at 12:19 PM | Vendors are allowed | Add to My Watchlist | Flag As Inappropriate

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Nda_ r.

Married: 06/05/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:21 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I would just not register and if people ask simply say "your attending is gift enough for us" or something along those lines...

Mary

MJ Decorations

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:28 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I put on my parent's 50th anniversary invitation, "Your presence is the only gift we want". People still brought gifts. Personally, I wouldn't bother to say anything about it on the invitation. If people ask where you're registered, I would say, "We really don't expect gifts. We just want you to come and help us celebrate!" Word will get out, but people will still bring gifts. They won't be able to help themselves!

southerngirl

Married: 12/28/2009
Reviews: 9

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:29 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Generally I think the invitation should be just that, the invitation. However on your website or when people ask, just reply with the PPs quote.

DawnDawn

Married: 03/14/2010
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:29 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I would put the it on your website in the registry area and spread it around to your closer friends and family. Let them do the rest. You are bound to get something though so a little extra thank you in your thanks for coming cards should be enough.

sweet_firefly

Married: 11/14/2009
Reviews: 10

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:30 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I'm with you on not putting anything about gifts on invitations. Maybe put something on a wedding website (not sure if you have one) saying basically what Nda said above. That way people are informed but not told not to bring gifts. And there will be people that will get you gifts whether you register or not.

username_2010

Married: 07/04/2011

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:31 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
They pp are absolutely right. I would still bring a gift if you said it wasn't necessary, but it'd probably be a card with a GC for going out to dinner.

CPeterson

Married: 05/22/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:34 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I would either set up a wedding web-site and mention it on there just like you did, "their presence at your wedding is their gift to you" or something along those lines. You could also have your parents mention this to the other memebers of your family, I know word of mouth spreads very fast in my family and then maybe mention it to a few close friends and just hope that people get the word because your right, to put it right there on the invitation or in with the invitation is a bit tacky.

MEG

Married: 06/12/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:34 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree that you should not put anything about gifts on invitations. For any party (not just weddings), the host is not supposed to be thinking of the possibility of getting gifts from the guests. I agree with NDA if people ask. Some people will still give you gifts, because they want to. Accept them graciously.

J.J

Married: 09/10/2011

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:38 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
If you can come up with some sort of cute way to incorporate a cute quote into your invitation I don't see anything wrong with it. I'm not good with cute quotes or anything like that or I would offer one. But just coming out and saying that gifts are not necessary sounds a little tacky. Though I agree with MEG no matter what you say some people will still give you gifts just to be nice so be prepared to accept them.

3.6.10Bride

Married: 03/06/2010
Reviews: 2

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:43 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks ladies. I'm going to share this with my fiance because this is a discussion we've been having for about a month now. I think word of mouth is the best way to do it, along with not registering. We don't have a website...that's way to high tech for me or our families. :)

Kristina G.

Married: 05/30/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:43 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I really like the suggestions above. Honestly, idk how'd I'd feel if an invatation said "no gifts please." I know that sounds really wierd. Like there's nothing particularly rude about it, it just makes me feel like if I wanted to give a gift, it wouldn't really be welcome, and I love giving gifts. "Your presence is the only gift we want" or something like that sounds nice, I'd know that I don't have to bring a gift, but also if I wanted to I wouldn't feel ackward about it. I'd probably stick it on your website like the PP said and spread it through word of mouth. Good Luck ^^

Konichiwa

Married: 01/17/2010
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:44 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Well regardless of how you handle the situation most likely people will still bring gifts. Some people are really traditional that way and would feel wrong not to give them. Something else to consider is having your guests make a donation to a worthy cause in lieu of a gift. Maybe something on your website that states that you and your FH have everything you need and that their presence at the wedding is more than gift enough. However if they are so inclined they can make a donation to ________ (Cancer Society, Humane Society, insert charity here) in lieu of a gift.

Konichiwa

Married: 01/17/2010
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 12:46 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
LOL sorry just read that you don't have a website. Word of mouth to spread the word!

shalliwell

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 10

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 1:05 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
i think one way or another yu will end up with gifts because people just bring them to help start your new lives together. But i agree with ndr that shoud anyone ask you can just say that them being there is enough

HPFanatic

Married: 10/10/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 1:09 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with the other posters. Don't register. You'll probably get gifts anyway, though.

3.6.10Bride

Married: 03/06/2010
Reviews: 2

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 1:12 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Let me clarify....I don't have a problem with getting gifts. :) Actually, if it were up to me, we'd go ahead and register and not worry about it. I know my family will give us gifts. But, I'm trying to be considerate of the customs of my fiance's family.

HPFanatic

Married: 10/10/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 1:14 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Well if it's custom in his family, then they probably won't give you gifts! Your side might give something though, even if it's just cash or a little present. If you registered, it would look like you're trying to get gifts and not respect his family tradition. So don't and you'll be fine!

shalliwell

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 10

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 1:16 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I just wouldnt register. If people ask what you would like you can say your presence is enough and even though you said that they will still get you something. that way you are considerate to him but you will still get things from people...it happens, its a wedding. if there are specific things you would like and you think your family may be asking, maybe tell your mom a couple of things and when people say she didnt register but we still want to get her something she can say "oh well i know she needs new plates" or something like that.

Mrs. P. NYC

Married: 08/15/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 2:16 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
For a different type of party I used "Our gift is your presence" We still got a few gifts but most people got the message.

MrsOfficer

Married: 10/10/2010

Posted On: Nov 11, 2009 at 3:30 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
at a wedding I once went to, the couple put a small note they printed on their computer, "Having you there to celebrate with us will be gift enough for us, so we ask in lieu of gifts, please make a donation to..." and then listed two charities. March of Dimes, and American Cancer Society.

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