"No Gifts Please" on Invitations?
My soon-to-be-husband and I have been together for 10 years. I'm a first-time bride. I'm 46 and he's 56. Since we've been together that long and have an established home, we do not need any gifts and aren't asking our guests to bring gifts, nor do we expect them. I have not registered...it seems silly at this point and in this economy.

We'd like to simply put on our wedding invitation "No gifts please. Your presence at our wedding is gift enough. We have everything we need: each other"....or something to that effect, probably shorter.

I've read conflicting things that putting this on an invitation is a big no-no and wanted others perspectives. We're having a very small wedding, no attendants and only about 20 people. I wouldn't find this request out-of-line in anyway, but now I'm confused.

Your thoughts? Thank you
Heidi

Married: 06/26/2010
Reviews: 9
Posted On: Feb 25, 2010 at 8:55 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

23 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!
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Married: 03/20/2010
Reviews: 8
Feb 25, 2010 at 9:00 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Why don't you do a honeymoon registry instead of gifts? Trips are always nice. :)

Married: 09/26/2010
Reviews: 2
Feb 25, 2010 at 9:04 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
The rationale behind the etiquette "no-no" is that saying "No Gift Please" assumes that your guests were going to get you gifts in the first place. However, given that we all live in 21st Century America, I think your guests would appreciate knowing your wishes. So I think it's fine.

Married: 08/14/2010
Feb 25, 2010 at 9:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree 100% with Deborah... with the little saying that you posted it sounds perfect... don't be surprized if you do get a gift or two...

Unique
Married: 02/11/2010
Feb 25, 2010 at 9:11 AM • 
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Feb 25, 2010 at 9:18 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
In lieu of gifts, please donate to (insert your charity here). You don't get gifts that you don't need, and a charity benefits. Most people will take it as a freebie and not donate anyway. We recently attended a birthday party for an adopted child. Same deal, in lieu of gifts, please donate to the adoption agency. Wouldn't you know it, we were the only people that donated (they give you a report if you register with them).

FMS, the barefoot wife!
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 10
Feb 25, 2010 at 10:21 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Any registry info on invites is a no-no, and you are having a small wedding so word of mouth is a great idea.
Feb 25, 2010 at 10:29 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Or, put it on your wedding website. I really wouldn't put it on the invitation. You will get some gifts anyway, no matter if you put it on the invitation or not.
Feb 25, 2010 at 10:38 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We ahve made separate cards that you can insert into the wedding package to express your wishes . That way you can get your message across if you are uneasy about useing the invitation. Either way will work well

Glen

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8
Feb 25, 2010 at 10:40 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
People want to give you something. If it was me, I would just not register. So people can either decide to bring nothing, or just a card, or give money. I wouldn't ask for no gift at all.

Married: 06/26/2010
Reviews: 9
Feb 25, 2010 at 10:43 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We wouldn't put any registry info on the invite anyway. We're not registered and we're taking our longer honeymoon a year from now in Scotland, with just a short honeymoon in the Berkshires on our drive back to Maine from NY after the wedding. I had thought about the honeymoon registry too, but the "other half" didn't like that idea.

I know some may give us gifts anyway, but I don't want them to feel like it's expected. Some of our older guests do not have access to the Internet. But it's sounding more and more like it's a big boo-boo to inform your guests/family in this fashion anyway. Darn. Interesting that this suggestions was given in Real Simple Magazine. Guess they don't know their wedding etiquette!

Thanks for the suggestions.

Married: 05/07/2011
Reviews: 6
Feb 25, 2010 at 10:49 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
What you can do is put your little saying on an enclosure with your invitations. That way, your guests have the invitation but it isn't printed directly on the invitation itself.

Married: 07/31/2010
Reviews: 5
Feb 25, 2010 at 2:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Any mention of gifts in any way, even to say "No Thanks," is simply not to be done. People disregard it anyway.

If you are including any inserts with your invitations (maps, directions, etc), then you can put a notation there. But I would still expect something, if I were you. Guests do feel awkward showing up to a wedding empty-handed.

Married: 05/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Feb 25, 2010 at 2:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would not put any reference to gifts on or in the invites, since that shows expectation of a gift. Since it is such a small wedding, word of mouth should work just fine. You may, however, still have people who will want to give you a gift.

At Last!!!!!
Married: 07/17/2011
Feb 25, 2010 at 3:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Same here, I think word-of-mouth is perfect..it'll get around but expect a gift or two.

Mother Of The Bride
Married: 2+ years ago
Feb 25, 2010 at 3:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Three years ago I was in the same situation...both my husband and I were both 46 and each had established homes therefore we did not expect any gifts from the attendees. It was a very small wedding with 30 guests. We did include a no gift request statement on the invite however everybody gave us a gift anyway. If I had it to do over again I would not include anything on the invite.

J.S.
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Feb 25, 2010 at 5:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We don't want anything either since we're already established, but I'm not opposed to receiving money! LOL We aren't writing anything on the invite just to be polite.

Sharon
Married: 06/04/2010
Reviews: 6
Feb 25, 2010 at 5:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
we are not putting anything on the invites and we are not registering. word of mouth is the best bet.

Married: 07/24/2010
Feb 25, 2010 at 6:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I like what Matt said w/the "In lieu of gifts, please donate ____" FH and I recently looked at invitations at a stationary store out of one of those big books and that was even an option for an insert card. Although w/a small wedding I think word of mouth could do just fine.

Married: 04/10/2010
Reviews: 5
Feb 25, 2010 at 6:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with the previous posters. I think that its best just to do word of mouth. Since you have such a small group of wedding guests, they will get the message. Also, they will probably WANT to give you a gift some kind anyway!

T.F.
Married: 2+ years ago
Feb 25, 2010 at 7:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
No need to mention it at all. Just spread it via word of mouth.
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