No blessing from the groom's father
My grooms father is very upset about us getting married, even though we have been engaged for 6 years. I don't know what his problem is - he says "he does not know me." What should I do? Call the wedding off?

Wedding: 11/08/2014
Posted On: Apr 25, 2011 at 1:23 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 08/03/2012
Reviews: 5
Apr 25, 2011 at 1:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
No. you shouldn't, IMO. As much as it hurts to have someone not bless your marriage, it's not about him. If the two of you truly love each other and want to get married, then do it. Plus, his "reason" for not wanting you get married is kind of lame. I would try to reach out to him, get to know him, if that's what he wants. But don't call off the wedding.

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 18
Apr 25, 2011 at 1:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yikes, that's a difficult situation. Have you considered speaking to him? Perhaps, a sit down with him, where he can get to know you better will help.

If you love your fiance', why would you call it off? Does his opinion mean that much to both your FH and you?

Good luck!

Heather
Married: 10/29/2011
Apr 25, 2011 at 1:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
After six years he doesn't know you?? Does he live far away? I wouldn't call off the wedding - I would talk to him point-blank. Start off by telling him how much you love his son and can't wait to make him happy. Parents love hearing that. c:

Wedding: 11/08/2014
Apr 25, 2011 at 2:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you all for the advice, it helps.

Mrs Young
Married: 05/05/2011
Reviews: 6
Apr 25, 2011 at 2:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH father is not on board. Apparently he, well both his parents tried to talk him out of it. Now they are ok about wedding, but think I should have a job first ( I just, like 2 weeks ago) graduated from school. We aren't letting it bother us since its really about his son getting married again. Not really about me, they just think he should give up on finding love basically.

Hang in there!

Married: 05/21/2012
Reviews: 5
Apr 25, 2011 at 3:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
No do not call the wedding off. My FML does not approve of us getting married at all basically because she figures she can no longer get money out of him when she wants. In fact, she called him over to the house after he told her we were engaged to talk him out of it with back up of course from people do not know me at all. At the end of the day he will come on board after all it is his son. Hang in there and you can be like me and pay absolutely no attention to the negativity this is a happy time for you dont let anyone ruin it for you. I wish you love and happiness

Hollywoll
Married: 06/18/2011
Apr 25, 2011 at 3:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Honestly, I have been with 4 1/2 years and even seeing his family throughout the year, I don't think we knew each other very well. Planning the wedding I have HAD to get to know them better. I had never called his brother's girlfriend before, but had to because their daughter is one of my FGs. I've also talked to his mom on the phone, his aunt, etc...All because of the wedding.

They didn't exactly approve of the wedding - they wanted us to wait two more years, but that was because of money. They're still supportive all the same.

Try to get to know you FFIL, have FH talk to him, but really - it might be a lost cause.
Apr 25, 2011 at 4:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Jen, if you have not had an opportunity to get to know FFIL, invite him to lunch or dinner -- just the 2 or 3 of you. Maybe he'd just like to have a conversation with you.

Wedding: 11/08/2014
Apr 25, 2011 at 7:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Nancy - I have done that numerous times and he always shows no interest in me or what I have to say.

Married: 09/11/2011
Apr 25, 2011 at 9:04 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Do NOT call off the wedding IMHO. My FH's parents are totally against the wedding and have actually never met me - in 7 years they have consistently refused to meet me. I think it's similar to Jasmine W - if he's got a wife and eventually kids, he can't throw money at them whenever they want a new car, help building their new house, etc etc. I also suspect a racial thing, but have never been able to prove it. Anyway, you can't fix people and you can't internalize their problems. But don't destroy your own happiness because they're being unreasonable.
Apr 26, 2011 at 12:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Wow, Jen, then if he doesn't know you it is his own fault! Don't call off the wedding on his account!

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Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 26, 2011 at 12:32 PM • 
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Wedding: 11/08/2014
Apr 26, 2011 at 12:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you all for the advice, we decided to NOT call of the wedding. You are all right, it is my Future Father-in-laws own decision to not be involved.

Married: 10/13/2011
Apr 26, 2011 at 4:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am glad to hear you didn't call off the wedding. If you have given him every opportunity to be involved and he doesn't take it, then that is on him. On another note you do have over a year and a half for him to come around. Good luck!

....
Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 26, 2011 at 4:48 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Six years is a long time to be engaged and allow something like this to ruin it. He's had PLENTY of time to get to know you, and if he's disinterested when you reach out to him, then it's his fault that he doesn't know you.

Not to be rude, but we no longer live in the days where a parents blessing is necessary; no doubt it would be nice, but most of the time, when parents don't approve, it's for their own selfish reasons. I wish the two of you the best of luck with this situation.

Married: 09/11/2011
Apr 26, 2011 at 5:05 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm so glad you both decided to not call it off. Best of luck to both of you!

Married: 06/26/2010
Reviews: 7
Apr 26, 2011 at 7:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My husband's dad nor his mom acknowledged us as a couple. His dad is a minister and would not marry us. So devastating. We ended marrrying and my husband died 6 months after marrying. Hold true to what you believe in and stay strong. Now this family who has never acknowledged us now has to deal with his lost and all they denied him of in the final year of his life.

MelKel
Married: 05/23/2010
Reviews: 5
Apr 26, 2011 at 8:00 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's better that he said he doesn't "know" you vs. he doesn't "like" you. I say do what you want. He'll ahve to get over it.

MrsD2011
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 1
Apr 26, 2011 at 8:00 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
That's good to hear ... but I understand how you feel ... my Mom doesn't want to give us her blessing ... she thinks I'm putting my life on hold for FS ... and that I gave up everything I ever wanted for him ... when I haven't ...basically the only reason she's going for this wedding is because my Dad talked to her point blank as did I ...

Married: 12/31/2011
Reviews: 5
Apr 26, 2011 at 8:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
lovefortwo36- That is horrible! I am so very sorry to hear this

Jen- good for u for going on with the wedding, my FSIL hates me and thinks that I am a gold digger. I have 2 jobs and I am in school, so she can kiss my butt. All families have some sort of drama, you just have to go with it for now. It will eventually iron out and if it doesn't its his loss, not yours. Although I understand, I wish my FSIL wasn't such a b!*&h because it sure would make holidays a lot easier.
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