Need etiquette advice - invited to a stranger's wedding
Okay now im needing some etiquette advice.

Ive just received a wedding invitation to the wedding of the daughter of my coworker. I dont hardly know the coworker, the man honestly gives me the creeps, and i dont know his daughter at all. Not to mention, they are a mexican family so i imagine the ceremony will be in spanish. Nothing against mexicans, i just dont understand a word of spanish. I really dont want to go, i would feel so out of place since i wouldnt know the bride or groom if they walked up to my face.

If i RSVP that im not going, should i still send a gift, even though i dont know them at all? I am not even sure where to send the gift to, if i did send one. What to do?

WhoCares
Married: 04/19/2014
Posted On: May 31, 2013 at 12:47 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

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Amy A.
Married: 08/31/2013
Reviews: 5
May 31, 2013 at 12:48 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't send gifts when I can't make it. And if I can't make it, it's usually because I don't really know you.

Married: 05/11/2013
May 31, 2013 at 12:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think traditional etiquette obligates you to send some sort of gift if you are invited to a wedding, whether you go or not. In this case, however, I would not send a gift. Just RSVP no and leave or at that.

Alejandra
Wedding: 05/25/2014
May 31, 2013 at 12:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Haha sounds like my family, thinking they can invite everyone they've ever met!

You don't have to send a gift. At least in my Mexican family, gifts are not expected if you aren't attending.

But it will probably be lots of fun! lol


Wedding: 06/06/2015
May 31, 2013 at 1:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FW is Mexican and it is normal to invite alot of people. They probably won't be too offended if you can't make it. However, if you are open to a new experience, then the wedding should be alot of fun. I'm assuming you can bring a guest, and there should be plenty of friendly people there who wouldn't mind meeting someone new.

I wouldn't assume that the ceremony will be in Spanish. It could be in Latin if they are devout Catholics as a number of Mexicans tend to be. Even if it is in Spanish (or Latin for that matter), you should be able to follow the proceedings enough to figure out what is happening.

I think a gift is optional if you can not attend. However, if you want to give a gift, you could always just give it to your coworker.

Out the Window
Wedding: 05/03/2014
May 31, 2013 at 1:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
For the sake of the bride and groom and whoever is paying, if you don't want to go, don't. Save them some $$! If he's inviting the whole office, maybe the office can get together and pool for a gift for her?

Jenn
Married: Recently Married
Reviews: 5
May 31, 2013 at 1:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think it's optional. We had a few people that rsvp'd no send money and a few that didn't send anything. If you don't know these people personally, I wouldn't.

Val
Married: 05/26/2013
Reviews: 5
May 31, 2013 at 1:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Lol, I'm Mexican and our ceremony was in English.. We can't assume just because they are Hispanic it will be in Spanish.. Anyways just RSVP back no you can't make it.. It's better to RSVP no then to not do it at all. Also no gift, I would only send a gift if the person was family or close friend.
Edited On: May 31, 2013 at 2:09 PM

Married: 09/07/2013
Reviews: 4
May 31, 2013 at 1:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I wouldn't send one. It sounds a little bit like a gift grab if you don't know them at all and aren't close to the coworker.

We'llAlwaysHaveParis
Married: 11/30/2013
Reviews: 5
May 31, 2013 at 2:04 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'd decline, no gift.

Soon2BeMrs.W
Married: 01/14/2014
Reviews: 3
May 31, 2013 at 2:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's appropriate to send a gift. HOWEVER they might just be seeking out gifts. My second cousin (whom I've never met) invited me and my father to his daughter's wedding as a gift-seeking venture. We knew that's what it was about and didn't send a gift.

Married: 05/25/2013
May 31, 2013 at 3:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
No one's obligated to send a gift, even if they do go. Do it if you want to

Alejandra
Wedding: 05/25/2014
May 31, 2013 at 3:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't think they are doing it for the gift. It's common to have big weddings in the Mexican culture and parents usually invite their friends/coworkers.

I also wouldn't assume that the ceremony will be in Spanish. Ours will be billingual so everyone can follow along.

But if you feel uncomfortable going, you aren't obligated to go.

Married: 05/04/2013
May 31, 2013 at 3:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I wouldn't send a gift if you don't go. We didn't get any from the no-shows from our wedding, so I assume that's the etiquette, lol?

MrsO
Married: 05/05/2012
Reviews: 6
May 31, 2013 at 4:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am someone who always sends a gift even if I can't attend.

However in this case, I simply decline and no I would not send a gift. Maybe I would send a (empty) congratulatory card.

Married: 07/05/2013
Reviews: 4
May 31, 2013 at 4:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I too am Mexican ..I agree with Alejandra G^ you would be surprised they are probably not even expecting to receive gifts...I know I am not .

Don't feel obligated to attend or send a gift if not attending.

Married: 11/16/2013
Jun 02, 2013 at 2:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I doubt that it will be noticed. No offense. Hey its a good thing ;)

But I think he may have just wanted people there for his daughter or FDIL

Married: 07/20/2013
Reviews: 6
Jun 02, 2013 at 2:52 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You definitely don't have to send a gift.

If you do decide you want to send a small token of some kind, their address should be on the RSVP or invite envelope, should it not? I'd just have it sent to that address.

ForeverMyLove
Wedding: 12/27/2014
Jun 02, 2013 at 2:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have been to several Mexican wedding and they are very large. It is normal in their culture to invite everyone to celebrate the marriage with family and friends not so that they can get a lot of gifts.

There is no expectation from the bride, groom or your co-worker to attend or give a gift.
Jun 02, 2013 at 6:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
no go, no gift.

WhoCares
Married: 04/19/2014
Jun 03, 2013 at 9:26 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks ladies. I think i will just put a ten dollar bill in a card and give it to my coworker to give to her. I imagine with as large of a family as they will have there, my card wont be noticed that much anyway. Thanks for the help.
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