My Sister (Jess) is Engaged and I am happy but mad at the same time Deeper details
I have six brothers and sisters, in my family our birthdays mean so much. Jess has decided to stomp on every single time I have had something bog happen in my life she has never been happy for my but in competition with me. She was in the mental home four times in HS. I had her in my wedding for the sole reason that their was a chance that she wouldn't try anything if I included her but not even that helped. She over shadowed my BIG DAY. Why in the world would I try to give jess any chance to have a great Big Day? My wedding day was supposed to be about me and my hubby and instead I had my mother pulling me aside and cursing me out for asking her to change back into her dress after she ate so that we could finish the pictures, so she throws a fit and leaves the wedding. Jess has ruined my life every chance she has gotten. Jess told me the night before my wedding that she was thinking about doing her wedding 11.11. When I asked her y she said because it was 2 days after my BD

Married: 09/12/2010
Edited On: Mar 21, 2011 at 7:48 PM
Posted On: Mar 20, 2011 at 11:44 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Mar 20, 2011 at 11:48 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Um, you are a grown ass adult. What do you want- a huge suprise party with baloons and cake and a bouncy house? It's a freaking birthday. So what?

She is an attention whore- and it sucks. But cutting off all communication with her? That's a bit selfish, immature and way over the top. And for the rest of your life? Seriously? I don't celebrate any of my siblings anniversaries. They may get a card or phone call from my parents- but that's it.

Besides- once she sees the premium many vendors put on that day, and can't get any venues booked- her date will most likely have to change.

Edited On: Mar 20, 2011 at 11:56 PM

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Mar 20, 2011 at 11:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have to agree with Meghan. You and your sister may have had trouble in the past, and I'm sorry she is always trying to steal your spotlight, but I don't think the fact that she is scheduling the wedding a few days before your birthday is a big deal, sorry.
If we were to schedule our wedding around everyone's birthdays we'd just never be able to have it. My best friend's wedding falls a few days before my birthday and I could care less. My birthday will still always be my birthday and it will be special. Also, I don't celebrate siblings anniversaries either.

Edited On: Mar 20, 2011 at 11:55 PM

Married: 06/22/2013
Mar 20, 2011 at 11:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
All I can say is REALLY? I concur with Meghan.

Married: 05/12/2012
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:01 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I understand how you feel I dont care how old I am my birthdays will always be a big deal to me and I see why you would be upset but on the other hand do you believe she chose that day because of you bday or just because of how it goes, from the examples you showed I can see how it hurts and may look bad on her part, but if she were doing it to ruin your birthday do you think maybe she would try to have it on your actual bday?
'and to Meghan are you saying your birthdays dont matter one bit to you and you wouldnt mind someone else pulling the attention away from you birthday every single year? I'm sorry I dont mean to cause drama but from the post you posted on my post are you out to get people today and make everyone feel bad??
Shady good luck I hope everything works out I dont know how it is with your family but with my family if i tried to cut my sister out of my life I would look like the horrible person so maybe jus take a breather from her for a while but she is your sister...:/

Married: 06/11/2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:01 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well said Meghan, I agree.

Married: 10/08/2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:03 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Seems like you are being the childish one... She may like drama, however, just as you had the right to pick whatever day you wanted to get married as did she. She chose the date not to piss you off or to make you cry or prove a point she picked it because of the numbers. Something like this is not worth writing your family out of your life for. Just remember that someday you will look back and regret the decision. You only have one family.

Married: 07/23/2011
Reviews: 1
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:13 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think you might be overreacting a bit, yes she did some lousy things in the past but cutting all ties - do you guys not have a relationship at all? Our bestmans B-day is on the same days as ours and he couldn't be happier than to participate, and spend all day with us.

Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:20 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Courtney- I'm certainly not saying birthdays don't matter. What I'm saying is she is acting like a child- not an adult.

The wedding will certainly overshadow her birthday this year- there is no denying that. And yes, her sister has a habit of doing that- which is wrong.

But the anniversary will not overshadow her birthday for the rest of her life. That is the part I think she is seriously overreacting about. Neither me nor my parents celebrate my siblings anniversaries. I can tell you the month they got married, but wihtout looking it up- I can't tell you the date. Her parents may send her sister an anniversary card- but that's about it.

And as someone whose birthday has been overshadowed by everyone for my entire life- the people that really care about her will make the effort.

I think her cutting off all communication because her sister set a wedding date she doesn't like is immature, and downright selfish.

Married: 06/04/2011
Reviews: 6
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:21 AM • Flag As Inappropriate

Married: 10/22/2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
There is virtually nothing that my siblings could ever do to make me want to cut ties with them, least of all something to do with my birthday. I guess the way I see it, if my little sister were getting married the last thing i'd care about is that it would fall a couple days before my birthday. 11.11.11 is a very popular date, if I had the money I would have had mine scheduled then too. I doubt that she was doing it to hurt you or to be mean. I think it would be very helpful to you to let go of your anger toward her because it just pollutes your own emotions. I definitely don't believe in turning your back on family [unless they do something atrocious and seriously deserve it]. Good luck. I hope you find a way to be happy for your sister and still enjoy your birthday.

Married: 10/22/2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:26 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I meant after...sorry

Married: 06/18/2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:27 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Not one person in my family gets a special birthday. Mine is on Christmas, my older sister's on mother's day, and my little sister's two day's before my dad's. We all get a little grumpy that we can't be in the spotlight, but we have learned to deal with it. As we have gotten older the celebrations have be toned down a lot, saving up for only the major years - and even then, my 21st birthday party did not include any of my family. I went out with a group of friends.

I can completely understand why you're upset with her, especially if she is irritating you year after year, but she is your sister and I think ten, twenty, thirty years from now you would regret not being a part of her wedding.

Your sister could be SO MUCH worse. There are siblings who steal, lie, cheat - what your sister has done seems like nothing when compared to that.

Married: 05/23/2010
Reviews: 5
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:29 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
completely agree with Meghan!

Married: 04/09/2011
Reviews: 7
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:38 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Seriously?! Meghan, I totally concur. And you definitely should be someone who knows about a birthday being overshadowed. :/

Married: 06/20/2015
Mar 21, 2011 at 12:46 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have to agree with everybody, I don't think she picked that date because its close to your bday! I'm sure she picked because of the numbers!

Married: 08/22/2010
Reviews: 9
Mar 21, 2011 at 3:01 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Agree with Meghan.
Edited On: Mar 21, 2011 at 3:02 AM

Married: 06/05/2010
Mar 21, 2011 at 3:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Um yeah. She sounds like a pain in the butt, but you are coming off as sounding petty too. Let it go!

Mrs. Carmen
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Mar 21, 2011 at 3:14 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with everything Meghan said. As usual.

Are birthdays really that big of a deal? I mean I guess they are for some people, but I figured after 21 they just tend to taper off until it's like, "Hey, happy birthday," and that's it. I mean...I totally forgot my own 21st, 23rd and 24th birthdays. Just isn't worth getting all worked up over, if you ask me.
Edited On: Mar 21, 2011 at 3:14 AM

Married: 12/07/2013
Mar 21, 2011 at 3:22 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
@shady bride, while some of these posts might seem a little harsh ( i won't mention whos) I think that you should just take a moment to think about everything you've just said and really evaluate that no matter what she does she is family. Don't be an eye for an eye, be the better person and just let it go. Good luck and hope everything works out.

Married: 10/29/2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 7:39 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
at least it's not ON your birthday...maybe see this as a way to support her and bury the hatchet, life is too short.
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