My mother and grandmother are wearing black to our wedding...thoughts?
Well, my mom ordered her dress from DB after she sent me a picture of it. It's pretty, black, strapless, and is a similar style to my dress. Now, I'm wondering if I should have said something about the color. My grandmother is also going to wear black too, she said. A few girls at work said that "the mother of the bride is not supposed to wear black..." Now, I've done some further research on it and come to find it's as toss up. Yes, if it's part of your color scheme, but no for the simple fact that it can mean that they disapprove of the wedding.

Well, our colors have no black in them - heather grey, eggplant, and off white with some peacock feathers... She's already received the dress in the mail and paid for it. One side of me says,"who really cares...," then the other side says,"eh, I really should have said something..."

Any thoughts?

Married: 08/27/2011
Reviews: 12
Posted On: Apr 29, 2011 at 9:34 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

23 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 07/16/2011
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:37 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think it's totally up to you- if it bothers you, say something, and they should be understanding.
My mom and I just went shopping for her dress yesterday, and some of the dresses she tried on were black, though she didn't end up with a black one. It wouldn't bother me at all.
Edited On: Apr 29, 2011 at 9:37 AM

Married: 08/13/2011
Reviews: 1
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:39 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I personally told my mom- no black. She was fine with it. She is doing a gold/silver dress. But I do know my Grandma will show in black- I cant remember the last time she did not wear black so I can not argue with her.
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:39 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I've seen plenty of MOBs wear black - none of whom disapproved of the marriage. I'm with the "who cares" part of you; she looks good in it, the dress is pretty, it matches the style of your dress and she can also spiff it up with colorful shoes/purse/belt/other accessories.
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:41 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
awww... if your mom is happy and feels amazing in it, that's all that matters! I agree with Kat - I've seen plenty of mamas in black and they look classy and elegant :D

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:41 AM • 
This post has been flagged by the WeddingWire Community and is now hidden.

Married: 01/17/2010
Reviews: 7
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:47 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well, if you feel that by wearing black your mother is trying to make a statement, then I'd talk to her about it and tell her that the whole passive/aggressive behavior that her wearing black symbolizes is hurtful to you. See if there is any way to talk through it and come up with a solution.

But for the most part, black dresses are easy to find, come in a variety of styles, are slimming, match with any color combo, and can be worn again so in reality she probably just thought she looked good in dress and I wouldn't say anything to her.
Edited On: Apr 29, 2011 at 9:48 AM

Married: 08/27/2011
Reviews: 12
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:49 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks ladies! When I first saw it I thought it was pretty and she loved it, so black it is!

Married: 04/16/2011
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:49 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
My grandmother wore black to our wedding and she looked stunning. She was comfortable and that's all that mattered. And she was very happy about our marriage :) It's entirely up to you but don't worry too much about it.

Married: 10/29/2011
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:50 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Konichiwa and the others..Also I could see if you discussed it beforehand, which if black was a potential problem for you should have that they paid for them and everything I think it's best to leave it be especially since it doesn't bother you too much:-)

Married: 08/27/2011
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:52 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
My mom is wearing black because she can't afford to buy a dress for my wedding. (We're having enough trouble paying for my veil and shoes right now :/) It's also my grandmother's dress who passed away so my mom thinks it'll be a nice gesture. My bridesmaids are going to be in black and teal so I figure it won't matter. Plus my mom's carrying my infant down the aisle as our ringbearer so at least she'll match his little black tux. :)

I personally think the only color that is unacceptable is white. As long as your mom isn't it white, you're fine! And that's what my friend who is a wedding planner told me.

Married: 06/11/2011
Reviews: 1
Apr 29, 2011 at 9:59 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think it is very pretty (one of my colors is black though), BUT I don't like it to be all black. I told my mom she could wear black as long as it had a color accent--a sash or something. Also her corsage is white so that adds something different

Future Mrs. K :)
Married: 11/17/2012
Apr 29, 2011 at 10:12 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think that it is very old school and something that was followed for many years but I dont think that is the case nowadays. As long as they are comfortable and look beautiful then thats all that matters.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 6
Apr 29, 2011 at 10:18 AM • 
This post has been flagged by the WeddingWire Community and is now hidden.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 29, 2011 at 10:23 AM • 
This post has been flagged by the WeddingWire Community and is now hidden.

Married: 11/05/2011
Apr 29, 2011 at 11:27 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I say yay to black dresses. If she found something she loves and will actually wear again, go for it.

Shannon S.
Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 29, 2011 at 11:31 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
My mom brought a couple of options and asked which she should wear. She seemed happiest about the black pantsuit with sparkles, so I told her to wear that. Actually, both moms and DH's grandmom wore black as I guess it's not a big deal any more.
Now, if only someone could have taken DH's grandmom's gnarly pink Vera Bradley purse out of her hands before she walked down the aisle....eeeesh. Tacky!
Edited On: Apr 29, 2011 at 10:28 PM

Married: 07/20/2012
Reviews: 5
Apr 29, 2011 at 12:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Both the MOB and MOG are wearing black in our wedding even though our colors are black and fuchsia. I think its your preference. I agree with a lot of women here black is a comfort color for most women.

My Beloved, Inc.

My Beloved, Inc.
Apr 29, 2011 at 10:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't pay attention to the old-fashioned schmaltz on wedding dressing. As long as they look lovely, I think black is okay. You may want to get each of them a beautiful stand-out corsage to match your bouquet so they will stand out. I'm sure it all will be lovely. Good luck to you and don't worry. Lise'

Married: 09/03/2011
Reviews: 5
Apr 29, 2011 at 10:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
you should say something if it bothers you, my FMIL was looking at black dresses while we were out a while ago, and I mentioned that I didn't want her to wear black (actually, I kind of blurted something about I thought she liked me, why is she dressing for a funeral... lol), so now she's looking at colours :) if it's not custom fit, maybe DB will let her exchange it for another colour?

Married: 11/20/2010
Apr 29, 2011 at 10:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It used to be a "no no" to wear black to weddings, but now it is one of the most popular colors.
Login or Signup to post a comment!

Vow of Conduct