Mother doesn't support my decision to marry
I just found out today that my mother doesn't support my upcoming marriage. She loves my fiance, but she thinks that because I am not finished with college that I shouldn't get married. I'm 25 and been with him for 3 years now, and known him for 4. I feel like it is time to do it, but she all of a sudden comes up and says that I'm not emotionally ready. She's NEVER been married and NEVER been stable in her own life, so how can she say this with confidence? How can she even begin to judge the situation, I'm in my own home, taking care of myself and my fiance every day and care for 5 pets on top of it. I've been on my own for 7 years now. How can she say that I can't do this? I don't understand. What should I do?

Married: 05/05/2013
Posted On: Apr 10, 2012 at 7:01 PM • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 06/16/2012
Reviews: 3
Apr 10, 2012 at 7:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hi Kayleigh.
You sound like an independent adult. You need to make this decision for yourself. I know many people who are married and are still in school. I think you need to stand up to your mother.

Married: 11/11/2011
Reviews: 8
Apr 10, 2012 at 7:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Its your life, not your mother's. My mother was passed away before I was even engaged, but she herself was divorced 4 times, and told me I should never get married. I'm not my mother. And neither are you. She will always be your mother, let her have her opinion, but I wouldn't let it change your life or your plans. You sound like you know what you are doing, just take her "advice" with a grain of salt and carry on. You will get all kinds of unsolicited advice for all kinds of people before you walk down the aisle! :)

Married: 07/31/2010
Reviews: 5
Apr 10, 2012 at 7:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I was with you until I got to, "...taking care of myself and my fiance every day..." Perhaps I just read this wrong, but does this mean you support yourself AND your FH? Or did I read that wrong?

You are an adult and have every right to marry when you want to. Now, if your mother is paying for your schooling, she might have some legitimate concerns about your finishing. I can see that. But I know plenty of people who have married while in school and finished up their degrees while married.

Married: 04/07/2012
Apr 10, 2012 at 7:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am too in a situation kinda like this. I got married VERY YOUNG at 19 and I divorced at 30. In that time I met an amazing man that makes all my dreams come true and makes my life a blessing. My mother of course thinks I'm too quick to marry again AND the fact that I chose to go back to school and start a career she thinks it too should wait and I'm to be 31 in June. loI think we're int he same boat. A lot of our mothers worries and feelings get thrown on us. Your mother might feel you're not ready because she 's never been married and has no idea exactly how it feels to be "ready". Also your mother might be sad and feel like she's losing part of you and that your new life will take time you spend with her. She also might be jealous in a indirect way or sad that she never did get married and longing for that very feeling you have now. Whatever the issue is you shouldn't stop what you're doing in your life. Your mothers life is not yours and vise versa. I wish you luck.

Tammy
Married: 07/12/2014
Apr 10, 2012 at 7:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well my mom had her opinions. What mom doesn't? But she is supposed to make sure this is something you want to do. Getting married is a whole lot easier then getting divorce (not saying that's gonna happen). But your mom is being a typical mom. It's your life and you're of age so there's nothing she can do to stop it.

Married: 04/28/2012
Apr 10, 2012 at 7:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think that a lot of parents are this way at first. Its a situation where its a hard time to let go. It should pass soon. I had this problem with my dad but eventually sat him down and reminded him I am an adult and I am happy with my decision.
Sometimes the sit down talk has to happen. Maybe wait til shes cooled off a little bit.

Married: 05/05/2013
Apr 10, 2012 at 8:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Michele, what I meant was emotionally taking care of... we both work. Also, I am paying for my own schooling.
Edited On: Apr 10, 2012 at 8:15 PM
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