Monetary gifts
What is the proper way to ask our wedding guest guest for Monetary gifts only without coming off rude.
My fiance and I are converting two already established homes in to one. So theres no need for house hold items.

Married: 06/13/2009
Posted On: Jan 9, 2009 at 11:32 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 04/26/2008
Reviews: 7
Jan 09, 2009 at 7:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
There's never a polite way to ask for gifts, monetary or otherwise. The best way we found to keep household-type gifts to a minimum was to let our immediate family and close friends know that we're already overloaded with stuff. Since so many people did things like call my mom to ask what to get us (and she said cash!), we ended up getting mostly what we wanted.

Married: 08/08/2009
Reviews: 12
Jan 09, 2009 at 7:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
From the books I've been reading it is stated that the wedding planner, brides maids, and mother of the bride/groom rely a message in regards to monetary gifts. Many books state that no matter what it can't come from the Bride or Groom directly. So when asked what type of gift you want, tell people you will have your wedding planner, bride's maid, or close family member get back to them with detials.

Married: 06/27/2009
Jan 09, 2009 at 7:52 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have found that the best thing to do is establish a "fund". Tell them what you're saving the money for. Honeymoon Fund. Photography Fund. Furniture Fund. Home Repair Fund. Then ask them to contribute in lieu of a gift. That way they know what they are giving the money for. I had one friend whose photographer actually took payments directly on their web site from the wedding guests. And if it's something like a Home Repair fund, they have the option of getting you a gift card to home depot or something instead of cash so it feels like they're giving you something. I would still set up a small registry though because some people want to give gifts and that's all there is to it.

Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 09, 2009 at 8:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Proper Ettiquete is letting your parents, maybe his, your maid of honor and maybe best man and let them spread the word for you if anyone asks. If your parents, siblings ask then it's rude to tell them what you want, but it should never come from the Bridal Party themselves. The response I got from my sister at least for her wedding was that she didn't want anything from me (eventhough I was her bridesmaid). She still got something for her Bridal Shower and I surprised her with something she didn't register for, but was something I knew would be special to her. My brother in law on the other hand isn't registering anywhere and that makes it hard to give gifts and my husband is the best man, but refuses to give his brother money as a gift. If you're going on a honeymoon and your location lets you set up a registry, see if you can do that and in lieu of gifts see if your guests can pay for a part of your honeymoon, which is less out of pocket for you.

Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 09, 2009 at 8:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Also if you don't want tangible gifts, see if Experience Days has something you and your hubby might enjoy doing together. Instead of a blender, have someone buy a gift card you can use toward a massage for 2 or cooking class, wine tastings, hot air balloon rides, etc. Sharing experiences with your new husband will add some excitement to your new marriage. Instead of you having to pay for these things yourself, think of it as your guests giving you money toward it and in your thank you note to them, you can thank them for your experience they treated you to, not something that might have no meaning to you.

Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 09, 2009 at 8:23 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
To let you know what I told my mom when asking where we were registered. I told her that if anyone asked to let them know where our registries were for our soon to be born son. Instead of gifts for ourselves, we told them that if anyone wanted to help us buy the items we knew we needed for a baby, that would help us out in the long run. We did wind up getting cash from them, and saved it and put it toward his crib, diapers, formula, hospital expenses, etc. Our family was surprised that's what we wanted instead of wedding gifts, but since they knew that was more important to usand our financial situation, they helped us and my mom was more than happy to pass on the word.

Rev. Carleen Burns

With This Ring
Jan 09, 2009 at 9:34 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
No matter that you already have two households going to one. You will still need new sheets, towels, etc. from time to time. Why not stock up now on things that don't go out of style. Besides, you will have to make concessions on whose things stay and sometimes decide you don't like either one that much anymore. There are always things you can find that you would love to own, but just never would buy, because when you have that $ you spend it on other things. It is never OK to tell people to give you cash. Many will anyway, but you can't tell them.

Married: 06/13/2009
Jan 09, 2009 at 11:09 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thank you all for your comments, and I do understand; however I don't need anything in the line of sheets, towels, or any type of cooking items..We both are very well furnished people and have decided that we will have to have a yard sale just so we wont end up with a house full of clutter. theres a way and I'll find it.

Married: 07/17/2009
Reviews: 10
Jan 10, 2009 at 1:58 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
It can be tricky because so many people are so traditional.
Do not assume that people know that you both are merging homes.
You might just have to write monetary gifts accepted and do a small registary for some guest.

Married: 09/13/2008
Reviews: 5
Jan 10, 2009 at 7:26 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
There is NO way you should write anything about money on the invitations. Just use word of mouth it works. We also merged 2 homes into 1 & at our wedding without saying a word about gifts (& without using word of mouth)we received mostly money.

Positively Proper Thank You Note Writing Service

Positively Proper Thank You Note Writing Service
Jan 12, 2009 at 8:09 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
When you do receive a monetary gift, be sure to let the giver know what you have done or plan to do with the money when you write them a thank you note.

Married: 02/02/2010
Sep 26, 2010 at 3:39 AM • 
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