May have to postpone my wedding! : (
My FH is in the army and is currently going through his AIT training which is 16 weeks. He is supposed to graduate sometime in july but due to military circumstances he may have to start over the course and this will conflict with our wedding which is Aug 21st. I have already sent out my std's and my bridesmates have already ordered and paied for their dresses.So my question is, if I do have to push the wedding back how do you notify your guests? should I write a letter or call. This is such a hard blow because I will lose so much money already invested in this. Also has anyone ever experienced or know someone military who has had to reshuffle their wedding around to accommodate the military?

Married: 2+ years ago
Posted On: Apr 28, 2010 at 11:19 AM • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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J.S.
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Apr 28, 2010 at 11:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Antoinette I'm sorry you're going through this, but this is only the beginning of being a military bride/wife. I would call if you can...maybe assign people to different members of your family to call.

Unique
Married: 02/11/2010
Apr 28, 2010 at 11:32 AM • 
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Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 28, 2010 at 11:33 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
yeah, I thought about that too! I just found out Sunday so I was giving myself a few days to figure out what to do. I know the first question will be, " so whens the new date?" which I dont have the answer to.

Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 28, 2010 at 11:39 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
@ lovelyq I would lose the deposit and I would only get about 45% back on everything else from the venue. The only clause in their contract about military situations is if he gets deployed then I would be able to get everything back.

J.S.
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Apr 28, 2010 at 11:40 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Maybe the venue would be willing to just switch the date?

Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 28, 2010 at 11:42 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
hopefully! I dont even know if I should just wait till he gets to his duty station or do it after his graduation?

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Apr 28, 2010 at 11:49 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm sorry to hear that...but as Jennhutch stated this is only the beginning. Both me and my FH are both active duty military and I totally understand what you are experiencing. Depending on his orders there might not be any time to plan a ceremony between AIT and his first duty station. It may be better just to wait until he knows when and where his first duty station will be and hope he doesn't get deployed right away. Another option maybe to go to the JOP and still plan a wedding for a future date. This way you can still reap the benefits and wherever he gets stationed, the Army will pay for you to go to. Just a thought...Good Luck and welcome to the Military Family.

Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 28, 2010 at 12:03 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
lol thanks Jones! This army spouse stuff is completely left field compared to growing up as a military dependent. JOP wedding is something I will deffinitly think about too.

Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 28, 2010 at 12:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
lol thanks Jones! This army spouse stuff is completely left field compared to growing up as a military dependent. JOP wedding is something I will deffinitly think about too. So you don't get 2 weeks after AIT before ur duty station?

Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 28, 2010 at 12:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
the military paies if you go to jop?

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Apr 28, 2010 at 2:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Let me clarify....if you get married now at the JOP (no that fee is on you) you are then considered a dependent and if his next duty station is a place where he can have dependents the Army will pay to move you two and his pay will go up since he now has you (assuming he doesn't have any children). If he has children then his pay will remain the same as far as how much money he receives for dependents vice being single. I'm not in the Army so I don't know how the AIT works but I asked a friend who is in the Army and she said its not automatic. Hope this helps...almost 20 years of military time....Let me know if you have any more questions!

Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 28, 2010 at 3:00 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
o ok.

Zyng
Married: 06/06/2010
Apr 30, 2010 at 6:18 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hey Antoinette,

I have no military knowledge whatsoever so I can't help you with that part of the question.

Re the other part, I think it depends how many people you have invited to the wedding. If it's a few near and dear ones, I'd phone them personally to explain. If on the other hand you have extended family and acquaintances invited (I don't know how you do things in the states but in my country weddings can be easily between 500 to 1,000 guests!) then I don't think everyone would expect you to call them! I don't think you should rely on others to pass the word around, though. I think if you have a big wedding you could drop people an email or a postcard/card explaining the predicament and thanking them for their understanding (which I'm sure they will all give you freely), though you should still personally call the near and dear ones and those flying in for the occasion.

I'm really sorry this has happened to you, it must be very disappointing and upsetting.

Zyng
Married: 06/06/2010
Apr 30, 2010 at 6:20 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Oh and if you do drop people an email/card, ask them kindly to acknowledge receipt and make sure to follow up any of the ones that don't as you don't want people turning up for a wedding that's been postponed!

Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 30, 2010 at 3:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
thanks Zyng. my guest list is about 95-110 people. and there all out of towners. I will know some time next week for sure. I going to wait till then to make sure there is no conflicting information.

Married: 2+ years ago
Apr 30, 2010 at 3:18 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
thanks everyone for all the advice.

Sweetbella
Married: 02/19/2011
Apr 30, 2010 at 3:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I know how you feel, my FH is in Navy and my worst fear is to postpone my wedding if he have to go to overseas. He is going to war soon :-( I just hope I don't or I might just elope :-(. You are not alone, tell them about your FH in ARMY, I am sure they might understand your situation. It is so hard to plan a wedding with a man in military, it is not easy when they are in Army or Navy.

Married: 07/16/2010
Apr 30, 2010 at 3:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm in a simlar situation but due to medical reason's not military. I sent an email to my vendor's today so I'm hoping for good news.
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