Maiden name vs middle name
Just wanted to see your thoughts.

The women in FS's family (both sides) got rid of their maiden name. They just kept their first and middle from birth and added on their new last name. Since this is all FS has ever known, he thinks its weird of me that I want to keep my maiden name. He wouldn't really care either way, but he says he always thought using your maiden name was "clinging to your old life"

Soo.. I'm thinking I'll have 4 names. Katie Sue Smith Jones. (That's totally not my real name. Just made that up so you could see an example) And if I have to use first, middle, last on any paperwork or a signature, I'll just use Katie Smith Jones.

What are your thoughts? What are you changing your name to?

*~WiiFeY~*
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 1
Posted On: Nov 16, 2010 at 9:47 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 05/14/2011
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Of course anyone can do what they want, but I think in general the "accepted way" or "popular way" varies depending on what region you live in. In the north, I had never heard of anyone making their maiden name their middle name. And then I moved to the south, where it is EXPECTED that you will use your maiden name as your middle name.


I am very torn on what to do. I really like my last name and it's uniqueness (I am the ONLY one in the US with my exact full name). My FS's last name is very common and it means nothing. By this I mean, that my current last name signifies my heritage (my dad was born in a different country) and my individuality/family. My FS's last name has no individuality and is made up. His paternal grandfather randomly made up a name and used it to sneak into the military as a young teenager. All of his benefits and his life where based on his fake name, so it was kept. CONT

Married: 05/14/2011
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have no middle name, but it doesn't sound right using a very unique name between Christine and a very common last name. My family thinks it is weird for me to use it as my new middle name too since no one in my family has ever done this.

Nicci
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:13 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I loved my maiden name but dropped it when I married my husband. He was indifferent though. I never thought about keeping it as my middle since it didn't really fit well together.

Mrs. Boat
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:18 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I already have 4 names lol so, takin' on another to the end would be overkill hahaha.
In south america, not many people change their name when they marry. Both last names are passed on to children, hence the reason I have 2 last names.
I'm taking on my husband's name once we marry, but I have some mixed feelings about it. I'd the first in my family to ever do that :/

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:22 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't think that's weird at all. I don't have a middle name, and FS suggested that I can keep my maiden name and make it a middle name, that way I'm not completely getting rid of my last name and people can still find me.

2d Bride ®
Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 12
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:26 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Christine S., you may be right that it's a southern thing. The women in my family (before me) always used their maiden name as their middle name after marriage. And my mother is now 81, and as "old school" as you get. While my mother herself was born in Illinois, both her parents were from Georgia.


On the larger question, though, I'm with Susy G.. If your FI is not willing to change his own name, I don't think he gets a vote on what yours is after marriage. In my first marriage, my husband originally wanted me to change my name so that the whole family would have the same name. I told him that if this was a concern, he was welcome to change to my name. When he thought about how hard that would be, practically and emotionally, he understood why I was not willing to change mine.

Married: 01/21/2012
Reviews: 3
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:27 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am keeping my maiden name. I love it too much and it's "me". Also, my daughter (from a previous relationship) has my maiden name so my FS can't complain about wanting to keep it for her as well. He would prefer we take his name but we were a family before he came into the picture so, in a sense, he should take our family name. But I don't think that will fly with him.

Married: 06/04/2011
Reviews: 6
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:29 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm thinking of doing the same thing, kk (taking his name and making my maiden name a second middle name). My FH is very, very against me keeping my maiden name, which I think is kind of weird. Then I jokingly asked him if he would be willing to change his last name too, and we could mush our two names into one new name (example: Tom Petty marries Rachel McAdams and they become Tom and Rachel McPetty)...he obviously did not like that idea at all, but it DID stop him from being so sexist and ignorant about the implications of changing your name.

>>>Insert Ty's New Gangsta Name Here<<<
Married: 2+ years ago
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:30 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Not sure about the southern thing. I've lived in NY, NC and now MD and have seen a mixture of maiden middle names/hyphened names. It's simply a choice to me. JMHO

Nik_McAwesomepants
Married: 10/21/2011
Reviews: 3
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:38 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
FH said he would be offended if I didn't take his last name but I'm not willing to completely give up my maiden name. Problem is my married name is so dang long it makes it impossible to hyphenate. I'll probably make my maiden name my middle name and take his last name. He at least admits that it's kind of silly why he expects me to change my name but would never consider changing his, he just can't help the way he feels. I'm going to keep my maiden name professionally though because it's already on so many things.

Mrs Cupcake
Married: 01/07/2011
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:42 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
If I was only child or have no brother and is close with my dad, I would kept my maiden name with married name together. Since I am not close with my father and have a brother, I will change my name to FS name.

Amie326 - formally known as"."
Married: 03/26/2011
Reviews: 5
Nov 16, 2010 at 11:56 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I was originally going to just add his name after my maiden. But fh one day explained how hurt he will be by this. Like he's good enough to marry, but not good enough to commit to 100%.100% meaning taking his name and dropping my maiden. He know how much my family means to mean and why I wanted to keep my name. So now were talking about just adding it to my middle names. Problem is I have two middle names already, so my name will be so long... example- Amie Lynn Ann Peterson Simpson. Wow say that 10x fast. But even tho I have 2 middle names now.. I only go by Amie Lynn Peterson. So I dunno anymore. I told him professionally I want to go by my maiden. So well see Haha. I still got 4months to figure it got.

Ground Grizzley
Married: 05/14/2011
Nov 16, 2010 at 12:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am dropping my maiden name and taking his name and keeping my middle name. My family and his family have done it both ways but I just want to let go of my maiden name. Besides if I kept it my name would be snow-brown (still kinda wish his last name was white tho')

Greyash
Married: 03/12/2011
Reviews: 4
Nov 16, 2010 at 12:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I really love the idea of taking on FS name, I don't have any ties to my last name, so I can't wait to drop it. I also love my middle name and I would never want to change that.

Married: 09/24/2011
Reviews: 5
Nov 16, 2010 at 12:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
KK - I think that I am going to do what you are doing and keep all my previous names and tack on my new one. FH doesn't really care as long as I take his in some way. Part of my reasoning for it is that I am from a tiny, tiny town (and I know you know what that is like). Well anyways, I am going back there to start my law practice. I think I will have better name recognition with my last name or using both than I would by using just FH's.

Married: 10/01/2011
Nov 16, 2010 at 12:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I've never heard of brides taking their maiden name as a middle name. If mine wasn't so unusual, I might think about it, but my last name is long enough as it is (9 letters), and nobody can pronounce it. My new last name will also be 9 letters, but a heck of a lot easier to pronounce!

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Nov 16, 2010 at 12:34 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I loved my last name but once I get married, I'm dropping it, I’m very proud and can’t wait to take his name so all our family can have the same one, personally I don't see the point of keeping the maiden name as a middle name, it's not like our kids will have both last names anyway, plus I would have 5 names, my last name is already hyphenated, FH is indifferent on the subject though. Do whatever makes you’re comfortable, another thing is that I have 3 brothers with that last name, it’s not my job to carry the family name, it will be up to them, I know some women do it for that reason.

Married: 02/05/2011
Nov 16, 2010 at 1:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
One of my FH's comments regarding changing my name was "I fell in love with Genevieve ......" Why wouldn't I want to stay in love with her? And I tried out the sound of his last name with my middle & first, and it did not roll of the tongue, plus it would turn my initials into GAG. And I like my initials as they are. So with my FH's preference and my preference, I'm keeping my own name!


I guess I'm a little unusual in that I know men who've taken their wife's name. Women who have hyphenated, done the middle name thing, used all four, taken their hubby's name, BOTH partners who hyphenated and the couple picking an entirely new name. So nothing really sounds that unusual to me anymore.

Nik_McAwesomepants
Married: 10/21/2011
Reviews: 3
Nov 16, 2010 at 1:14 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
This is not to anyone in particular but I just don't see how a man could say you have to change your name to be 100% committed to him. If that were the case, why can't he change his name to be 100% committed to you? I'm not raining on anybody's choice to do whatever they want with their name and their family, I'm taking FH's last name. I grew up in a house where we all had different last names and I want my family to have the same last name. It helps that I don't care for my maiden name too much lol.

Married: 08/13/2011
Nov 16, 2010 at 1:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
High five Nik! I completely agree with everything you just said.
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