Living Together While Engaged?
Is living together while engaged a good idea or bad idea?
I hear both all the time. What are your experiences/thoughts/feelings?

Wifey To Be!
Married: 2+ years ago
Posted On: Jun 23, 2010 at 9:48 AM • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

55 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 10/10/2010
Reviews: 7
Jun 23, 2010 at 9:58 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Oooh, you've missed a lot of heated posts on this topic! It's really about you guys as a couple and what works for you. I live with FS and it's great! I can't imagine not living with him. We love each other and want to be together. Before we moved in together I was staying at his place about 5 nights a week anyway. It works for us!

Married: 01/15/2011
Jun 23, 2010 at 9:58 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We have just begun living together and we have 6 months to the wedding. I wouldn't have had him move in except our situation is that he just finished school and moved back to town, so it was silly to get a 6 month lease in a rental while we could use that rental money towards the wedding. I kind of look at it like we will iron out the wrinkles of living together before the wedding and we'll be used to each other by then. I must say, there are some definite perks to living together- we are getting our rhythm on sharing chores (WAY easier with 2 people!) I'm enjoying having him cook for me, and, well our bedroom life has never been better! So far, no downfalls noted. Mind you it's only been a few weeks....

Married: 10/10/2010
Reviews: 2
Jun 23, 2010 at 9:59 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
FH and I are going to move in together around the end of Aug beginning of Sept. I don't see anything wrong with it.

Married: 08/21/2010
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:02 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's been great for us, but it is a personal decision that you and your fiance need to make together. Not sure about your family dynamics, but in mine it was a big no-no. Everyone is fine with it now, but we went through a period judgment from everyone.

Married: 10/14/2010
Reviews: 1
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:04 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Like Not-a-Mrs said, I'm sure there are MANY different and heated opinions on this, but it's really all up to you.

FH and I have been living together since the end of March. We got engaged at the end of April. I can't imagine it being any other way. We were going CRAZY waiting to settle on our house. We just wanted to be together under the same roof as a family. It has made everything so much better. I think it also gives you a good chance to get settled and really understand each other's quirks and stuff.

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 6
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:06 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have been living with FH since September (before we got engaged) and I highly recommend it!!! It was really hard at first because 1) he was badly injured and couldn't do a lot and hated asking me for help and 2) we had both lived on our own for a very long time and adjusting to being considerate of another person 24/7 was difficult! But ultimately, all of that brought us closer together and we have an even better relationship now. And I think planning a wedding and being married has enough hurdles, you don't need to add moving in together to it. Get that out of the way! But that's just my $.02

Married: 11/06/2010
Reviews: 7
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:08 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
FH and I lived together since November of 2008, got engaged November of 2009, getting married November 2010. I highly recommend living together before marriage, if your religion doesn’t disagree with it. Then you know how the other will contribute to your household in your marriage.

Married: 03/26/2011
Reviews: 6
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:11 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have been living with FS since 2007. I was over his house every night anyways so we moved in together when he moved out of his parents house. We have a child together so I could not imagine not living with him.
The decision is really up to the couple themselves. Personally, if I waited to live with him, his little annoyances would probably have gotten him kicked to the curb. So for that reason I am glad i have learned to live with the things he does prior to getting married. But like i said, i really depends on the couple. Do what feel right to you

Married: 09/10/2011
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:13 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
FS and I have lived together since summer of 2009. For me it's just a personal choice but I could never marry someone that I hadn't lived with. I'm an only child so it was a HUGE transition for me to have my space suddenly invaded. If we weren't compatible living together and couldn't make things work then I honestly wouldn't be able to marry that person, at least not until the kinks were ironed out. Luckily it worked out great with us because he used to work 2-10 which still allotted me my much needed "me time/space that I desperately crave. FS and I just bought/closed on our first home on May 28th and I wouldn't have it any other way :-).

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:16 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
FS and I have been living together for 4 years and I love it. At first it was more of a financial move because we were in Boston where rents are high. Now in Texas it is cheaper but I wouldn't have it any other way. I love living together, sure there are moments when I think it would be nice to have lived on my own for a little while, but those are few and fleeting. Generally it is awesome, and I am of the mindset that I want to know what I am getting myself into. So I would have wanted to live together before marrying him even if it wasn't the smart financial move originally.

Married: 08/13/2011
Reviews: 6
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:18 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'll be living with my fiance for two months before the wedding and I know its going to be a REALLY sore subject between me and my parents but thats when we can finally end this pesky long distance and I'm not going to extend that any longer than I have to, they'll get over it.

Married: 04/02/2011
Reviews: 5
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:29 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well me an dmy FS lived together even before we were engaged, but we already had a plan about what were going to do with our lives. It really helps take anxiety and stress away having to do with moving after the wedding. If we didnt live toether we would hardly see each other because we are so busy.

Wifey To Be!
Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:37 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I totally agree with you girls. My fiance and I have a year of school left, but we'll be living in the same apartment building so I'll probably be staying over a great deal of the time. My parents are kind of set on the fact that after I graduate, I'll live at home while I start my teaching job. I totally agree with them that they think I should live at home to save the money, I think that they are being a little naive in thinking that I will definitely get a teaching job locally. And if FS gets a job before me, I'm going to look for a job around that area. And in that case, I would certainly want to move in with FS before our wedding. I just think it would be silly for us to get two separate apartments in the same area, while we will proably already be strapped financially. But I am just such a people pleaser and want to make my parents happy with my decisions.

Wifey To Be!
Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:39 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Plus I am the oldest of 4 kids in my family (my siblings are 17, 14, and 9) and my house is sometimes a circus haha. I love them to death, but it would be nice to have my own space once I get to that professional phase in my life, ya know?

Because I Said So
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 15
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:46 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think for reasons of practicality it's essential. Most divorces are over money and you can't really see how someone spends their money until you live with them day in and day out. Living apart, you can hide purchases from each other somewhat. And then it's a shock to both people when they live together and suddenly find they have different expectations for the household finances.

Wifey To Be!
Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:46 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Another thought - my mom and I were talking about this once and she said that waiting to live together makes you wedding more special cause its marking the start of something new in your life that is changing - which i understand... but I still feel like i'm going to get a job wherever FS does and move in with him (there's just no way i'm commuting a super long distance everyday just to live at home). If we both get jobs locally, okay... but that chance seems kind of slim

Married: 08/14/2010
Jun 23, 2010 at 10:47 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
well, FH and I have been living together for almost 2 years, and we've only been engaged for one... I don't see a problem with it... it's like a test drive for how life will be... Plus how do you know you can spend the rest of your life with someone if you don't know what they are like at home... I mean visiting all the time and actually living with someone is totally different... Also, FH got evicted because of his roommate and my parents were selling the condo i lived in so it made financial sense for us just to move in together... I didn't want to have roommates again, and neither did he... I love it!

Married: 06/26/2010
Reviews: 6
Jun 23, 2010 at 11:21 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I personally do agree that this is a personal decision that has to be made between you and FH. My FH and I do not live together. We don't mainly because we find that if we did that would be a temptation for us and lead us to do things we don't want to until we are married. Both FH and I are staying pure until we are married and by not living together that keeps us from being tempted to do so. It is going to be a major adjustment for me and having to pack up stuff into his apartment over the last few weeks has made things more interesting but I know that for the both of us we will find waiting to be rewarding. But everyone has to make the best decision for them and what they think is best

Mrs. O'Neal
Married: 05/22/2010
Reviews: 9
Jun 23, 2010 at 11:28 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I've been living with my husband for 4 1/2 years and in August we'll be together for 5 years and we just got married. I love that we lived together before we got married because we know what our habits are, what we like and what we don't like. It is a personal decision but I think it better for a realtionship to live together so you get to know one another a little bit better.

Married: 02/05/2011
Reviews: 7
Jun 23, 2010 at 11:33 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would. It's just not logistically possible right now. We won't be able to live together until summer 2011.
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