Is it wrong to ask for money instead of gifts for your wedding?
My fiance and I have been together for 7 years and living together for 4 yrs. We have a home and everything we could absolutely need, so is it wrong to ask for guests to give money instead of registering for gifts for our wedding?

Married: 07/24/2010
Posted On: Jan 28, 2010 at 9:56 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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At Last!!!!!
Married: 07/17/2011
Jan 28, 2010 at 10:00 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We don't live together but have seperate homes....we want to ask for gift cards and cash instead of gifts too..someone gave a great idea when I posted the same thing--will try to find it and post.

Married: 10/02/2010
Jan 28, 2010 at 10:01 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
i don't think so. I actually made a honeymoon registry and told everyone in mine and FHs family but all i the responses I got was "that's a little tacky don't you think?" but im still wanting everyone to put money towards that instead of giving gifts because we don't need anything either because we've been living together for about 2 years.

Married: 05/23/2010
Reviews: 5
Jan 28, 2010 at 10:02 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH and I are using honeyfund.com , we have been living together for more than 3 years so we dont need anything really, but we are both students so money is tight for the honeymoon. This site encourages guests to give monetary gifts but it allows them to feel like they are giving an actual gift because they chose from the 'registry'. You can have them bring/mail cash or checks or sign up with paypal (paypal does charge a fee though) and because the money is given directly to you, you can use it for whatever you want. It was a big hit at my bridal shower!

At Last!!!!!
Married: 07/17/2011
Jan 28, 2010 at 10:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
here's a cute poem one WW bride gave me:


I know you are thinking what to get us. Read below and hopefully it will answer your questions.
We lived together before this wedding
So we have a home, full of toasters and bedding
So what to get for the bride & groom
Whose house is set up in every room?
To save you looking, shopping and buying,
Here's an idea you might like trying!
We need (new flooring) and (a new table) too,
But registering for huge items ain't the thing to do
So please put some money into a card,
Now make a wish.... see, that wasn't hard!
Now we've saved you all the fuss,
We hope you'll come and celebrate with us!
A (wishing well) (money tree) will be at the reception hall
To deposit your wishes...
Thanks and love to all


Hope this helps!

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 3
Jan 28, 2010 at 10:31 PM • 
This post has been flagged by the WeddingWire Community and is now hidden.

Married: 09/18/2010
Jan 28, 2010 at 10:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Capri! I was in a wedding the bride and groom were moving to cali from ohio after the wedding and she put to make our load light we are asking for "money" (she used a fancy name for money) I thought that it was kinda rude. If you want just money i would go with spreading it word of mouth or set up an account kinda like you do for a honey moon.

Bickimook2
Married: 05/29/2011
Reviews: 10
Jan 28, 2010 at 10:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Definitely don't ask directly for money the best way to do it is by word of months or like some of the other brides stated previously, register for a honeymoon fund that way the trip is paid for and the money you saved can be used for other things, also think about just registering at a place where you shop a lot, say walmart, you can register for stuff and whatever you don't like or don't need you can return and get the credit on a gift card or something so you can use the funds for groceries or other things you need more than appliances :)

Married: 07/31/2010
Reviews: 5
Jan 28, 2010 at 11:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
FIRST OF ALL....the poem is not horrible and it is quite RUDE to say so of something that someone has probably put alot of time and effort into.I personally would have no problem giving money as a gift instead of shopping for something that the bride and groom don't even need.It would also save me some time.=)With that said,Crower,go ahead and use a CUTE poem, go with a Honeyfund,or any other way you wanna do it.It is your wedding and you know your guests better than anyone on WW does.;)

Married: 09/18/2010
Jan 28, 2010 at 11:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Another thing that you could do is register at Bed Bath and Beyond!! You can return things there and get cash back! LOL so you are indirectly getting money!!

I would also like to clear up what i was saying ealier about agreeing with Capri! I was agreeing with the part where she said that it rude to ask right out for money! I wouldn't call anyone's work horrible! Sorry if i offened anyone!

mayo
Married: 1+ year ago
Jan 28, 2010 at 11:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
yea that poem was a bit much.. I have seen another poem, but I know I wouldn't be able to find it but it's the oppisite of that and makes way more sense...
..
Please do not add that poem or anything alike. It is not a very good idea at all.
Do not register if you don't want gifts. People know you, they know you have a home and everything you need. It doesn't hurt to upgrade to a new toaster or pot and pans. If you really need the money, people would know this. Either way you will end up with gifts, take them back, pond them off or something but still show happiness and thankfulness to those that gave you whatever they gave you and still be sure to send out a thank you note, wheather you want the gift or not.
and remember a gift isn't the ticket to get into a wedding as a guest. They are giving you something money or a gift in happiness and respect of you and your groom. Don't be greedy.People get LOTS of money given to them at weddings without being asked, you'd be surprised!

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 3
Jan 28, 2010 at 11:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
The concept of asking for money instead of gifts is rude, no matter how you dress it up. It's not a good poem and the poster who posted it didn't write it. I would definitely lose a little respect for someone if they sent me that poem. Not being rude, just being honest.

Apple
Married: 06/05/2010
Jan 28, 2010 at 11:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I asked my mom about this subject and she said there was a family wedding where the couple asked for cash or honeymoon registry and my Aunt and grandma were so appalled. They thought it was horribly tacky. Something you may want to consider.

I'm sorry but I'd be so, so put off by that poem it just comes off wrong.

Mrs. Carmen
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Jan 29, 2010 at 12:02 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
In the end, it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks, or how rudely they think it. It's your wedding. *shrug* Do whatever you want. If you really want a poem or something, here's a couple more I looked up for ya. =0)

Because at first we lived in sin
We've got the sheets and a rubbish bin
A gift from you, would be swell
But we'd prefer a donation to our Wishing Well

More than just kisses so far we've shared,
Our home has been made with Love and Care,
Most things we need we've already got,
And in our home we can't fit a lot!

A wishing well we thought would be great,
(But only if you wish to participate),
A gift of money is placed in the well,
Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell!

Once we've replaced the old with the new,
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness, we're sure
That one day soon you will get what you wished for.


Mrs. Carmen
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Jan 29, 2010 at 12:03 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
"If you were thinking of giving a gift,
To help us on our way.
A gift of cash towards our house,
Would really make our day.
However, if you prefer to purchase a gift,
Feel free to surprise us in your own way."

Mrs. Carmen
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Jan 29, 2010 at 12:04 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Please find within this poem
Information just for you,
With some rules and regulations
That we both insist you do.

Save the date of (Saturday 17th June)
Is the first thing to say
To share the love and happiness
On our wedding day.

The second one is vital
If you're to be our guest,
To eat, drink and be merry
Or do your very best.

The third one is an order
So don't bring two left feet,
As when the evening comes around
You MUST dance to the beat.

The fourth rule can be broken
We really do not mind,
But if you choose to follow it
Thank you for being kind.

We've been together for a few years
And have a lovely home,
There are not too many items now
We don't already own.

So if your thoughts were on a gift
Your presence will suffice,
But if you really feel the need
Then travel vouchers would be nice.

The choice is really up to you
And we would like to say
We hope you come, enjoy yourselves
And have a lovely day.

Private User
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 3
Jan 29, 2010 at 12:04 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
It doesn't really make sense to be rude to your guests. As a guest I would want my feelings taken into consideration. The second poem is even more distressing than the first.

Mrs. Carmen
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Jan 29, 2010 at 12:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
This invites you to witness
(Name and Name) say ''I Do''
If you wish to give something
Here's a clue for you

Be it kettle or toaster,
They do have the lot
So rather than give them
Something they've got...

Larger items are needed
And on these they must spend
So cash is appreciated,
Hope this doesn't offend

Apple
Married: 06/05/2010
Jan 29, 2010 at 12:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yes, it's your wedding but do you really want to offend family and friends?

Mrs. Carmen
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Jan 29, 2010 at 12:06 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
That's fine that you think so, Capri. But it's not your job to ensure she doesn't do it. If it's what she wants to do, then I'm going to be nice and help her do it as easily as possible. Which is what we do here on WW. We're nice to each other, even when we disagree.

Married: 12/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Jan 29, 2010 at 12:08 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am asking for money by having my MoH and mother spread word that since we are flying out that it would be hard to take back... i dont think its rude but i wouldnt say it on the invitation... have your family and wedding party spread word that what you really what is cash.
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