Is it horrible to want my wedding to be better than theirs?
After posting in Leanna T's thread, about 3 sibling's weddings that had some disasters, it makes me wonder about how my own wedding will be. Not in that stick my nose in the air, I'm better than you, kind of way... I mean I know they did the best they could with whatever resources. But I as a guest felt like the only reason I was there, was for the family sentimental value.
If you want to read my posts in that thread, go ahead. Or as a summary: crowded venue & not enough seating, finger foods, no organization, no fun, no music or dancing, bad cake planning, rude guests... I just look at that & think, ok I may not have the best things either, but I dont want anyone to go home feeling disappointed as I did.

I am having self serve food, but there will be silverware used, plenty of chairs & tables. There will be lots of music, for all generations to enjoy. There will be awesome cupcakes. Decor.
Is it terrible of me to want my wedding to stand out?

Iris
Married: Recently Married
Posted On: Feb 13, 2013 at 1:15 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

17 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 05/12/2012
Reviews: 6
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:18 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Absolutely NOT!! I think that All of us brides want our wedding to be a Stand Out. And be as perfect as we imagined. I know I did. :) So don't feel horrible at all. :)

Married: 04/13/2013
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:18 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's not terrible for you wanting it to stand out but make it stand out for you, not to outdo.

Concentrate only on what you want your event to be. Learn from others mistakes on what went wrong and go in with that in mind to make your guests happy and comfortable. I just wouldn't concentrate on the reason to be better than someone else's. It isn't about anyone else but you and FH.

I am sure it will be beautiful!

Edited On: Feb 13, 2013 at 1:24 PM

Legacy
Married: 06/01/2013
Reviews: 8
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
NO, not AT ALL! Everyone wants their guests to leave feeling happy and exhausted from fun, not irritated and feeling like they wasted their time!

Iris
Married: Recently Married
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Lisa: oh I dont even have a budget to outdo lol. Mine's casual too, casual is accepted in both mine & FH wedding. But yeah I'm trying to make it about us, what feels right to us. Honestly tho it kinda is about the reasons to make it better. I mean I'm not being a snob at all, I love my siblings & I'm so happy they got married to wonderful spouses. But some of my ideas for my wedding, got sparked by their mishaps.

Married: 10/15/2011
Reviews: 7
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
No, it's not. But honestly, as a guest I see all great weddings in the same light. Bad weddings stand out the most. And seriously, it's not about $ you throw into it, it's about making sure in some fundamental ways that your guests are comfortable.

Married: 04/13/2013
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Nothing wrong with casual! Our's is as well. Beach wedding and no suits allowed. I want good food, good booze and good music. All the details I know I put a ton of energy into but if noone notices them, it was for me anyway.

Definitely make it feel right for you. That is what makes it memorable!! :) I didn't imply you were being a snob, I hope you didn't think that. I meant - use your energy for making it for you. Funny how we do get our ideas from what went wrong at other events. Nothing wrong with learning from mishaps!!

Amy A.
Married: 08/31/2013
Reviews: 5
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:28 PM • 
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Married: 07/04/2013
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
As the youngests of 3 girls, I have a fear my wedding will be in the shadows of my older sisters. I think its normal to want to have an awesome bash
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't think it is wrong to want something to be better. Not everyone puts much thought into the reception past what they want. They don't always consider the guest (as you saw in that post). This is why we tell people, cut the guest list. Push the date back etc. The fact is that things cost money. I would like a lot of things for basically free, but that isn't going to happen. I think most people here want to see you have a beautiful day. Part of that is knowing when enough is enough. Guests want to be comfortable That likely means AC, decent food, a good way to get around and a nice place to sit. It also means not being expected to bring food, put out the food or decorations, serve the food or clean up after themselves. It also means not becoming the ipod DJ. Well, more or less it means not becoming staff.

Wedding: 09/12/2015
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't think so. Hell I'm torn b/c everything you mentioned could be my wedding:( that's why I'm trying to keep my list short & choose people that have manner's. I have a huge family but I don't think I'm iviting any of them b/c of what you said. I don't want my guest leaving feeling like that & I certainly don't want to deal w/the embaressment or babysit grown folks. So go ahead & grandstand to make sure you & your guest are happy!
Edited On: Feb 13, 2013 at 1:35 PM

Married: 04/13/2013
Reviews: 5
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I dont think so. Fhs cousin is getting married 3 months after us and is borrow most of our decor (centerpieces, table coverings, ect.). I was thinking the same thing, so i decided that i would have 2 or 3 things the only person who knew where they came from are fh and me so we will have something to make ours special. The worst part is their venue probably costs almost as much as our entire wedding does :( so we aren't even going to try to outdo them.

Married: 10/15/2011
Reviews: 7
Feb 13, 2013 at 1:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't remember the venues, decor, or colors.

I remember if I had at least a somewhat decent meal and if I had fun. And obviously that somebody didn't terrorize me with stuff like no AC or no chairs.

Iris
Married: Recently Married
Feb 13, 2013 at 2:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Cool Thanks ladies. :)

Jamie Q.
Married: 05/04/2013
Reviews: 11
Feb 13, 2013 at 2:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Um of course not! I would be a freaking liar if I said I didnt want everyone to remember my wedding as the best of my 3 sisters! I am the first to get married with 2 more in the next year. So yea, I want to stand out! We are doing everything we can too! lol Hell, I know they are planning to make sure theirs is the best too, so why shouldnt i?

Ashley
Married: 05/22/2013
Reviews: 9
Feb 13, 2013 at 2:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I hope my wedding is fabulous, when fsil gets married her budget would kill mine in a second, but I'm hoping that years down the road fmil will be able to recall ours was pretty too instead of how she remembers the flaws in previous weddings she went to. x_x

Iris
Married: Recently Married
Feb 13, 2013 at 2:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Jamie: hahaha! I'm of course not the 1st one, my sister's been married 3 times (dont ask) & I've been married once before. So also, we want to make this memorable since I didnt have a "wedding" for the 1st, & it's FH 1st time getting married.

Overall I just want it to be awesome for us, but I want my guests to have fun too, even tho it will be casual. I always care about what people think lol

Married: 05/11/2013
Reviews: 10
Feb 13, 2013 at 3:03 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
One of FH's groomsman is getting married two weeks before us. They are both in each others wedding. I am so annoyed with his fiance. She got every vendor I wanted, but I couldn't afford or they were booked.

They are having a beach themed wedding at a venue I used to work for which is beautiful but a train wreck as far as the in house operations. (the employees referred to it as the deathstar)

I did event planning for 7 years so I am hoping to god she comes to my wedding and is blown away! Yeah I am petty that way, but she has just been so snooty to me about her wedding. She has not asked one thing about how I am doing and I always ask her. It's like my own personal bridal wars that she doesn't know she is a part of. lol

PurpleSun
Married: 09/01/2013
Reviews: 2
Feb 13, 2013 at 3:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Im not doing AC or chairs :-/

I think it still will go well though
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