husband and female friends
What do you ladies think about your future husbands or husbands having female friends? This topic has come up to me. A lot of people have said it shouldn't be allowed and that its disrespectful for your fh or husband to get phone calls or text from other women. I'm 50/50 when it comes to that.I believe that if it's truly a strict friend base relationship then it's ok but if its a relationship where she secretly has feelings and seems to be spending more time with him then you or can tell you more about him then you even know then heck no. But trust is a big part of marriage so what do you think?

Married: 08/06/2011
Posted On: Sep 21, 2010 at 4:05 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 03/26/2011
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:08 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I trust my fs and I'd rather we have an open honest relationship than him trying to take phone calls behind my back... I'm even okay with him still being good friends with his ex's because that said to me, here is a great guy. I mean how often do you want to stay friends with your ex??? Also I don't want to be the one to teach him everything. If we have a fight over him doing some stupid man thing, I really appreciate his girl "friends" saying um yeah, this is why it upset her. Then see I don't have to do all the work. :)

Married: 12/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:10 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
What? I have more male friends than female friends by far. I would never try and dictate whom my fh can and can't be friends with. I think that is disrespectful and shouldn't be allowed. I would be afraid to marry someone that was trying to ruin the long standing relationships I have just because they are male or female. I am bisexual does that mean I can't have any friends just because I could like them romantically? As for the telling them more about him than you could. Well that means that you have a unresolved issue that he isn't telling you things. That or they have been friends for a long time and he just never brought something up to you that happened a long time ago and she knows about. Either way opposite sex friend ships are healthy.

~Bride 8/28/10~
Married: 2+ years ago
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I with Luta...I trust my DH so much. In fact thats how we built our whole relationship. He still talks to a couple of his ex's but so do I, I graduated with them...It's the same as you having guy friends...IMO

Married: 10/21/2011
Reviews: 3
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:15 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
FS and I don't have a problem with platonic friends of the opposite sex, especially if we knew the person before we met each other. The mud comes in if the person is an ex that you're still cool with or something like that. Either way we're open and honest with each other and always try to respect the others feelings. Am I getting 2am texts from my male friends? Hell no. But hanging out (during the day) isn't a big deal as long as he knows. If it's someone I'm that close to, he's met them anyway :-)

Married: 12/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:15 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Oh and yeah I second luta and mrs. In addition I talk at least once a week with my first ex bf. We stayed friends and he is engaged as well as me. I love him as a friend but honestly- I have no bleepin idea what I saw in him. I wouldn't consider dating him again if he where the last man on the planet. My fh knows this and is fine with it.

~Jeff's Angel~
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:18 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It doesn't bother me at all. He is friends with a lot of females that he has been friends with for many years prior to ever meeting me. I would never tell him he can't remain friends with them. And the way I see it - if he was meant to be with one of them then he would already be with them and not with me, let alone marrying me. Besides I trust my FH, and if you don't have trust you should not be getting married. And majority of his female friends have gotten to know me and usually ask for me as well and he openly tells me who texts/calls him with out me even having to ask - he even shows me the texts too.

Married: 10/10/2010
Reviews: 7
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
To me, it's cool if FS already has female friends when he enters the relationship. I think it's a little weird, however, if he were to make new female friends and hang out with them one-on-one. Almost all of our friends are mutual, so it'd be totally cool to hang out in groups, but I don't see the need to be alone together. I totally trust him and know he wouldn't do anything, but I guess it makes me a little uncomfortable.

Married: 08/06/2011
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yeah I have ton of male friends and i was getting told that wasn't right by some outside people but I feel as long as it's honest, innocent and respectful it shouldn't be a big issue. Because when you need to vent who are you going to talk to if you had to get rid of your close friends because they were the opposite sex.

Married: 08/06/2011
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@getting excited to be mrs. i agree with you and see your point of view

FMS, the barefoot wife!
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 10
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:23 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Doesn't bug me, it's probably because all his female friends are my friends and most likely related to me...LOL

Married: 07/10/2010
Reviews: 5
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hubby and I don't necessarily mind each other having opposite sex friends...but we do have rules and boundaries. Like, there'd be no reason for my hubby to go to a female's house to watch a movie with her alone, and I wouldn't do the same with a guy--I mean, why put yourself in that position you know? I don't think a lot people set out to cheat, I think they just don't have boundaries. Hubby doesn't have a lot of female friends at the moment so it doesn't really come up right now. Before we moved he had some good female friends. I was usually fine with them and even befriended them, but sometimes I could get a nasty jealous streak in me lol. I don't like to share, ya know?

Married: 10/10/2010
Reviews: 2
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
That's a tough one. I have had a really good male friend for 10 yrs and he respects my relationship with FH. We are strictly friends, the only time our conversations turn sexual is when he's talking about sex with his wife or I'm talking about sex with my fiance. We never do the what if thing, and if situations were different thing. Some people keep "friends" around as a just in case or to make themselves feel wanted or attractive. As long as it's JUST friendship and nothing more and everyone is respectful then I'm ok with fh having female friends.

Married: 09/25/2010
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have had male friends that came between my FS & I. And he has had female friends that has come between us, too. So we have a shared group of friends. Honestly, since we've been together we've lost and gained friends. Now all of our friends are mutual and I don't like when girls from his past pop out of nowhere & take interest in him. And it's the same for him with me. A man from my past emailed me and he was very hurt. So we try not to go outside of our circle of friends unless we're together- making new friends, together.

Married: 2+ years ago
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think it goes both ways..and its' all abt trust and honesty..I personally don't see anything wrong with it..only because I wouldn't want my FH to question me on my guy friends and doubt my honesty...

Married: 03/27/2010
Reviews: 1
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It bothers me. Only because in the past hubby would introduce some of his female friends to me and I can tell they liked him. They were so sneaky and wanted his attention etc, just as well as his ex. So he just rather not have any female friends. I would not mind if we had couples as friends were both going out with the husband and wife. Some single people have a different mind set than a married couple or couples that is in a serious relationship. I know I can trust him to do the right thing. I also don't mind if he knew the females as he were growing up and its like family to them. Other than that females are sneaky and if you better watch them because maybe your man can't see when someone is hitting on them but you can tell.

Married: 05/21/2010
Reviews: 15
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm with Sass. I think the whole "issue" is based on a flawed assumption about sexuality and friendship--heterosexual people don't want to jump on every person of the opposite sex, just as homosexual people don't want to jump on every person of the same sex, just as Sass and I, as bisexual women, do not want to jump on EVERYONE. It's hard enough to find a good friend without eliminating half the population based on gender.

I also find it offensive to make statements like "females are sneaky." It's a misogynist statement and it hurts all women to make that claim. Some people are sneaky; some aren't. Sneakiness, like other negative qualities, is not gendered.

Natalie Marie
Married: 2+ years ago
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:54 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yes, marriage is about trust! It has always been important to me to be with someone who healthy friendships with men and women. I remember when I was dating, a big red flag for me was when I met someone with no real female friends, not even one ex? And he couldn't believe my male friends were "just friends." I moved on and shortly there after met my prince. Nothing says, "trust issue" like setting restrictions on friendships. I'm with LutaWolf and HisLilSassafras!

Married: 03/26/2011
Sep 21, 2010 at 4:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yeah I have to agree with Cabell on the females are sneaky.. Some ppl are sneaky and some aren't. And I'm sorry but my life does not revolve around FS and I would walk away if he wanted it that way. I have work, I have getting Sage to dance, so on and so forth. I have too much to do without haveing to keep up with what he is doing at every given moment so I trust him and if I didn't, we wouldn't be togather because again, I don't have time for that shit. :)

2d Bride
Married: 10/06/2009
Reviews: 12
Sep 21, 2010 at 5:01 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Given that we are both bi, if I banned any friends she could conceivably be attracted to, she'd have a pretty sorry social life! Our rule is basically, don't do anything you wouldn't want to tell your wife about. And since I trust her to follow that rule, all is good.

Married: 07/24/2010
Sep 21, 2010 at 5:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I went out to dinner with a male friend the other night without my hubby (granted, he was supposed to be able to come but had to work late unexpectedly), but we have no problems with friends. A marriage is, as everyone has said, all about trust. Even if your spouse's friends harbor secret crushes, it's your spouse you should trust. I hate the "it's the other people I don't trust" thing. Grr.
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