How to uninvite someone?
How do you uninvite a guest when invitations have not gone out, but save the dates were sent out a few months ago? Especially when the guest will most likely assume they're invited and that the invitation got lost in the mail, or that we just didn't have their new address (they've moved since the save the dates were sent)

Married: 08/25/2012
Posted On: Jan 18, 2012 at 7:41 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 04/21/2012
Reviews: 5
Jan 18, 2012 at 7:42 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You don't.

Joy
Married: 09/01/2012
Jan 18, 2012 at 7:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't mention it unless they say something about it... If you aren't in contact with them much, they may not even notice (sadly, or not sadly, depending on how you feel about them). Something like "due to budget concerns, we had to keep the wedding intimate" or another appropriate wording of it.

Bottom line, you didn't send them an invite... So, they haven't really been invited. Most people view STD's as engagement announcements from my experience.

Married: 08/03/2012
Reviews: 5
Jan 18, 2012 at 7:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
That's really tactless. Sorry if that's a little too blunt, but why would you send them a save the date and then "uninvite" them? You are right, they will most definitely assume they are invited if they received a save the date, especially if the save the date says "formal invitation to follow."

And I don't really agree with Joy's advice. That's an extremely passive aggressive way to go about things.
Edited On: Jan 18, 2012 at 7:54 PM

Married: 04/21/2012
Reviews: 5
Jan 18, 2012 at 7:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Kathleen B. I just wonder what your reason is for not wanting this one person?

Rachel W.
Married: 05/27/2012
Reviews: 9
Jan 18, 2012 at 7:58 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm not sure why you sent them a STD if you didn't want them to come to the wedding?

Married: 06/09/2012
Reviews: 1
Jan 18, 2012 at 8:07 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't think that it is a good idea since "Save The Date" means clear your calendar for my wedding date.

Carrie
Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 18, 2012 at 8:18 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You can't - Save The Date means just that, many people will make arrangements such as flights, hotels, taking time off work etc.

Carrie
Married: 2+ years ago
Jan 18, 2012 at 8:18 PM • 
This post has been hidden by the author.
Hidden On: Jan 18, 2012 at 8:19 PM


Married: 08/17/2012
Reviews: 5
Jan 18, 2012 at 8:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
what is your reasoning for not wanting this person to attend after already sending a save the date? Im sorry but I agree with kathleen...

S3
Married: 05/04/2012
Reviews: 9
Jan 18, 2012 at 8:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Unfortunately you can't do it. Once you send Save-The-Dates, it's considered to be a pre-invite. I'd love to leave a few people of my list too, but I won't. Is it really going to be a huge problem for this person to be at your wedding? Why do you want to exclude them now?

Married: 08/25/2012
Jan 18, 2012 at 11:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks for the advice. And I don't mind the harshness, UNinviting someone was not something I had ever intended. The guest I no longer at my wedding is actually an aunt of my FH. He recently helped her move and then HARRASSED him at work (called his cell numerous times, text, & even called the work place (he's not allowed to use his cell at work)) claiming her stair stepper was damaged in the move and it was his fault because he was driving the truck. She continued to call him a huge disappointment and put him down in several ways, and we decided we don't want anyone like that at our wedding. Oh, and her daughter recently informed us that it had stopped working prior to the move & her mom was just in need of money. We probably would have offered to help her out with the cost of it had she just CALMLY asked us to, but there was absolutely no reason for the way she treated him after he took time away from other things to HELP her.

Married: 08/25/2012
Jan 18, 2012 at 11:34 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Also, I know some of you will probably say we SHOULD invite her since she's family. That was the first thing I said when FH mentioned not wanting her there...until i read the messages that is. His mom and other aunts told us not
To invite her from the beginning, but we had no reason not to at that point. I know she hasn't made any arrangements, so I'll just wait and see if she questions it.
Edited On: Jan 18, 2012 at 11:35 PM

Married: 11/13/2011
Reviews: 6
Jan 18, 2012 at 11:34 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
In THAT type of situation, I would be honest and tell her why you aren't comfortable with her being there...Might be a talk FH needs to have with his aunt

Married: 05/05/2012
Reviews: 8
Jan 18, 2012 at 11:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Unfortunatley you need to send the invite and then just hope she doesn't show because of this. You wedding is a ways away, things may change before then, too. She could be your favorite person by the time August rolls around.

Kat
Married: 10/14/2012
Reviews: 6
Jan 18, 2012 at 11:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Mrs. Clark - it seems to be a unique situation since she is harrassing your FH but I agree that FH might want to have a talk with her and let her know why you aren't comfortable with her being there. Sounds like she is drama and you definitely want that at your wedding. I would opt to try to work things out first, though, to avoid other problems.

krisalicious
Married: 04/28/2012
Jan 19, 2012 at 12:14 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Can one of FH's parents deal with her? If she's truly harassing you/FH then I think that's a unique situation like Katie and Mrs Clark said. But I would ask FH's parents what they think. You don't want to cause a giant family drama by skipping her invitation, if it's going to get FH's family into a big fight/uproar. I guess I would want to know which would be the lesser of the two evils, if it were me.

Married: 06/15/2012
Reviews: 6
Jan 19, 2012 at 7:40 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
my FH's neice sent me some random middle of the night facebook msg about how if I didn't like here lifestyle too bad, she would'nt come to my wedding if she couldn't bring her so and If I didn't like it she was sorry she'd ever met me. Well,,,, I'd met her about 4 times over 5 yrs and never had much conversation with her ever, had not said anything to ANYONE about her and all of the sudden I'm being attacked over I dont even know what, i sent her back a msg to get her facts straight before she lashes out at someone next time & that I appreciated knowing how she felt about me & that it really wasnt neccessary for her to come. She since has apologized,...NOPE, not having ANY of that! I wanted my wedding small anyway and if drama queens would like to start weeding themselves out all the better, I say for your situation, send her a simple note, please disregard the STD, and say nothing else to anyone about it, hold your ground, its your day, do you want drama? you have solid grounds here

Married: 07/24/2010
Jan 19, 2012 at 8:22 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think the rules of etiquette go out the window when you are being harrassed. I mean, etiquette says you should graciously accept gifts even if you don't want them, but if they are from a harrassing ex, you throw them out, often where he can see.

Married: 02/19/2012
Jan 19, 2012 at 12:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We totally "uninvited" people who were sent STD's. Invites went out a few weeks ago and they're such d*bags they haven't even noticed that they never got an invite.

Married: 05/05/2012
Reviews: 5
Jan 19, 2012 at 12:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have one person I need to uninvite at the request of my son--its a long time friend, who has become so nasty to him and his girlfriend since they got engaged, that he has asked me to please not invite her to the wedding. What should I do? She has been a friend of my son and our family for many years. But if she publicly taunts my son and his new fiance and continues to be nasty to them both, i don't want her at my wedding anymore, but she did get a save the date card, so I have no idea what I should do.
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