How to ask for money nicely!!
My fiance and I already have everything we need for our house. My guests are coming all the way to hawaii and we dont want them to have to bring presents with them. How to we ask for just money without it coming accross as rude?

Married: 06/26/2011
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Aug 12, 2010 at 7:29 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

23 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 6
Aug 12, 2010 at 7:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You don't. Don't register, they will get the idea.

Married: 07/24/2010
Reviews: 1
Aug 12, 2010 at 7:32 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
we just didnt register anywhere and when people asked us what we want, we said "honestly, we have everything we need for our house and would love to be able to afford a honeymoon, so if you would like to get us something, money would be great" Nobody really thought that was rude and we can afford a honeymoon now!! :D

Married: 08/22/2010
Reviews: 9
Aug 12, 2010 at 7:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
don't register.

Married: 11/10/2011
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Ok my brother is getting married and they sent a little nice card called wishing well and it says
we hope you will not be offended if we ask you not to buy a gift. you see we have already filled our home, we even have a garden knome! but there is one thing that we would like to do, to tell our landlord to take a hike. We've been saving hard to buy a house but if you could help, that would be great. There is no need to rob the banks, any amount will be greeted with thanks. So help us grow our money tree and spare your self the shopping spree

obviously if you could take out the landlord part if you have a house already

Brian Cesario Photography, LLC
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have to agree with Analy, Danielle, and Binx - don't register. Telling people what to give you (or not give you) is, in my opinion anyway, kind of a slap in the face.

Married: 06/04/2010
Reviews: 6
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Telling them is an "assumption" that they are getting you a gift. You can't assume, so as everyone else said, no registry and word of mouth from your family and BP, not you :)

Married: 07/10/2010
Reviews: 8
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Another thing to keep in mind... could turn out like mine did: we registered, spent hours at the stores, and received only a handful of wrapped presents at bridal showers. At the wedding, we exclusively received money.

But seriously, seriously bad form to ask for cash, whether with a "cute" poem or not. People will take offense.

Married: 08/07/2010
Reviews: 4
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:38 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We told guests we were having a wishing well wedding and posted the following poem on our website:

More than just kisses so far we've shared
Our home has been made with love and care
Most things we need we’ve already got
Like a toaster and kettle, pans and pots

A wishing well we thought would be great
(but only if you wish to participate)
A gift of money is placed in the well
Then make a wish … but do not tell

Once we’ve replaced the old with the new
We can look back and say it was thanks to you!
And in return for your kindness we’re sure
that one day soon you'll get what you wished for!


studio G occasions
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Kudos, ladies! You're correct in saying NOT to ask for cash (or any gift for that matter!) Warms my heart to see this advice coming from the bride's side of WW not just from the vendors!

Married: 10/10/2010
Reviews: 7
Aug 12, 2010 at 8:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Definitely not cool to ask. When I lived in NY, I was shocked that cash was customary. I actually got into a heated argument with a friend who was getting married. Not only did she expect cash, but she wanted it to pay for my plate. I wanted to be generous, but I was a first-year teacher in grad school, paying NYC rent by myself. I simply couldn't afford what she expected, and it made me feel awful. (sorry to hijack, had to get that out!)

Married: 06/26/2010
Reviews: 7
Aug 12, 2010 at 9:19 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We registered on the honeyfund. A very easy and diplomatic way in asking for money. So much better than recieving items that you don't need.

Bliss Honeymoons

Bliss Honeymoons
Aug 15, 2010 at 8:54 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would go with a honeymoon registry. With the service that we offer, our clients get 100% of what gets contributed to the registry. What you do with the cash is up to you.

Married: 10/10/2010
Aug 15, 2010 at 9:10 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I like the money tree idea lol but i had a thought
what about sending them a cute picture of an oak tree with just branches and pictures of like dollar bills on it for leaves and just saw on the bottom "Gifts are nice but trees do grow help us sprout our leafy oak" idk if it rimes but it did in my head lol

Married: 09/26/2010
Reviews: 2
Aug 15, 2010 at 10:31 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't ask for money. There are so many more subtle ways to let guests know you'd rather have cash, and asking straightout is pretty offensive to a lot of guests. (Yes, even if your request rhymes.) Do a honeymoon registry or let your bridal party spread the word.

Married: 03/26/2011
Aug 15, 2010 at 1:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Okay I'm about to get bashed but oh well ROFL... Most of my guests are all out of town and when we do get a chance to chat it's about family life, kids, husbands the regular B*tch fest you know and rarely about the wonderful life of wedding planning so this is what I put up on my wedding website.

Your presence at our wedding
Is present enough,
But if we're honored
with a gift from you,
May we respectfully request
a gift of money
To help the dream of
A honeymoon come true!

While we are asking for the non-traditional gift of honeymoon money, we felt we should offer a few other options. We have registered at Bed, Bath, and Beyond under _________ and _________. Let us remind you again though, we are honored to have you as apart of our wedding regardless if there is a gift or not.

Its on our wedding website under the registery section and not on our invites. We are just going to tell ppl to rsvp on our website and then they will browse and see...

Married: 10/09/2010
Aug 15, 2010 at 1:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think it really depends on your guests. With ours its mostly family and close friends and we know nobody would be offend so we put this on a card in our invitaion had directions to the reception at the top and then at the bottom it said The bride and groom are registered at:
Monetary gifts are also welcome

...but like I said it probably depends on your guests, I knew me guests wouldnt be offended by this and for those who dont feel like going out and shopping I think it was helpful.

The Awesome Thief
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 10
Aug 15, 2010 at 1:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Honestly, I think your decision should be based on how you think your guests will feel about it. If you think that a lot of them will be offended, then don't register at all and have other people tell everyone that you'd just prefer money. If you don't think they'll be offended then just tell everyone or put it on your wedding website.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 6
Aug 15, 2010 at 4:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Just register for very few items on your registry or not at all. Spread the word through family (moms are great for this and the gossipy cousin) and friends, wedding party. People will know or they should know, in this economy. And actually don't be surprised if guests can't afford to give you a gift right away or that it is not a lavish gift. Everyone seems to be suffering to stay afloat. It'll be cool to just say monetary gifts would be most preferred for the honeymoon if anyone asks you what you want...only if they ask you.

Married: 06/05/2010
Aug 15, 2010 at 5:05 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Expecting a gift is wrong. Do not put a poem in with the invite, on a website or otherwise...... As many others have already advised, don't register people who want to gift will work out the rest.

Brooms, Baskets & Brides...Oh My!
Aug 15, 2010 at 6:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't register and don't ask for a gift of any kind. Maybe have a money dance at the reception or a money tree/wishing well. :)
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