How many people do the parents get to invite?
I am the MofG and both sets of parents and the b and g are all jointly paying for the wedding. The guest list must top off at 100, due to the caterer. Is it ok for me to ask my son and daughter in law if I can invite some family friends to the wedding?

Married: 05/26/2013
Posted On: Jun 12, 2012 at 2:34 AM • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

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Married: 12/19/2014
Reviews: 11
Jun 12, 2012 at 2:36 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you are helping pay, I don't see why not.

Both our parents are not inviting anyone because we've already invited the people from both families that we want attending our wedding. Everyone that is not on our list, it not on the list for a reason.
Edited On: Jun 12, 2012 at 2:38 AM

Married: 07/27/2012
Reviews: 5
Jun 12, 2012 at 3:00 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Our parents are not inviting anyone to the wedding, rather we thought of our parents friends who had watched us grow up and decided to invite them.
Though I think you should be able to invite some friends, I would use restraint. Has your son ever met these people? Would he recognize their names?
Of our 130 ish people being invited, only 11 are my parents friends.

Married: 04/28/2012
Jun 12, 2012 at 3:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Definitely, I think as long as you guys are all very honest and sensitive towards the whole guest list. We approached our guest list in roughly thirds - 1/3 was our friends; 1/3 was H's family/family friends; 1/3 was my family/family friends. But I think every guest list/couple is different in how many friends they have, how big their families are, etc. There's probably no right or wrong as long as you all agree. :)

I will say - I really appreciated that my parents only asked to invite their friends who actually know me or knew me well growing up. Whereas H's dad invited his social/work friends who aren't really as connected to H. We expected that and we had a medium/average-sized wedding so it was NBD, but if we were having a smaller affair like 100 guests or less, that might have felt a little awkward to me.

Congratulations! :)

Marie S. (aka Princess Leia)
Married: 10/12/2012
Reviews: 12
Jun 12, 2012 at 5:12 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We gave each of our parents a set # of guests up front even though we are paying for the wedding. We had already included the "standard" family so their guests are their friends. We want them to enjoy the celebration just as much as us. They each got 10 people or 5 couples - one table each.

My parents were very hesitant at first since our wedding is rather expensive - they didn't want us paying for their friends. The $ part was irrevelent to us - if they were paying for it they would invite their friends so to us it didn't make a difference... The wedding is a celebration and that's how we view it

Married: 05/04/2012
Reviews: 9
Jun 12, 2012 at 5:17 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
If they are family friends I don't see anything wrong with asking to add them to the guest list. I assume that, because they're family friends, the bride and groom (or at least the groom) knows them. DH and I automatically included family friends in our guest list because those friends have attended less formal family functions and it would have been weird NOT to invite them to the wedding.

Good luck!

Married: 09/08/2012
Reviews: 5
Jun 12, 2012 at 6:39 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you are all contributing equally then you should be able to sit down with everyone and figure out how many people you can each invite.

Married: 07/28/2012
Jun 12, 2012 at 8:04 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Just like everyone else has said, there's nothing wrong with inviting some family friends. I do think since everyone is paying toward it, you should be "sensitive" as Kris put it toward making sure the family guests are people the groom knows.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 14
Jun 12, 2012 at 8:11 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
agreed. if you're all paying, i don't see why you couldn't come to an agreement on a number of friends you can invite.

Married: 03/16/2012
Reviews: 6
Jun 12, 2012 at 8:41 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
our parents were told they could each invite 5 couples...neither invited that many. my parents did invite anyone since I already knew who they would invite. my mil only invited 4 guest to the wedding

Married: 10/15/2011
Reviews: 7
Jun 12, 2012 at 8:51 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's certainly OK to ask, but be ready to accept whatever number they tell you.

Married: 07/14/2012
Jun 12, 2012 at 8:59 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with the other girls, talk to the couple and get their opinion. We are inviting 4 couples who are friends of FHs parents. They were around a lot when he was growing up and are the parents of a few of his friends so we were okay with that. They are family friends, not just his parents friends. But no more than the 8 people total.

Married: 05/26/2013
Jun 12, 2012 at 9:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
This was very helpful... It really is only about 8 people I want to invite and they all know my son. thank you all

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Jun 12, 2012 at 2:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
8 can still be alot, if the other side invites 8 too. that's 16 plus both sides of the family if your family is rather large that might only leave 8 people for each of the bride and groom to invite their own friends.

We capped our list at 85.
we have 38 in FH side of the family
20 on my side of the family
so that only leaves us 30 guests more to invite.
we let each setof parents invite one couple meaning we only have 26.
Thats only 13 friends each or 7 friends each and their dates.

not many

Married: 01/21/2012
Reviews: 3
Jun 12, 2012 at 2:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We tried to have equal number of guests at the wedding. As long as you know that and are considerate of that then you may ask them. But don't expect other family members or friends of the bride and groom to be cut because you ask for these extra friends.

8 friends is a lot. That's a whole table!
Edited On: Jun 12, 2012 at 2:42 PM

Married: 05/04/2012
Jun 12, 2012 at 2:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I didn't even think about this in advance, I should have tho, my mom invited everybody at her job, lol. And we paid for our own wedding.

Married: 07/02/2012
Jun 12, 2012 at 2:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My father invited 12 work friends (he's worked at the same place for 20 years.) My parents invited 4 neighbors.

His mom invited 4 friends/neighbors. She didn't have the close friends like my parents do.

I'm not happy about my father's numbers, but I didn't say anything when I should have. And 10 of them are coming, with spouses, so I have 3 "Dad's Work" Tables. Ugh. And I should add that 8 of the couples didn't think they needed to RSVP and my dad didn't want to call and bother them. So I made mom do it. Otherwise there would be no table for them. (So don't be like my dad, if you get to invite people, you're in charge of their RSVPs!)

The problem you might face is your cap. I didn't have a cap.

Married: 08/10/2012
Reviews: 7
Jun 12, 2012 at 2:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
if your paying YES you should be able to. my parents wanted to add a few more couples which took us above the number of guests we wanted to be at but they said they'd pay above what they are contributing to add a few extra couples, (they already have friends/couples on our list prior) however FH mom keeps emailing/texting me addresses of more friends she wants to invite and we have yet to see a contribution on her end...frustrating, and Im in no place to tell her no, thats where FH should step up
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