How can I...

Have the wedding of my dreams (small, inexpensive, tasteful) when my family is so damn big!?! My grandmother has 8 children, 8 step children and like 40 grandchildren (and their children have children)! There is family literally everywhere and thanks to facebook, my family are all connected. I haven't spoken to many of them in years but now that almost all of our family is on facebook, how am I going to just not invite everyone? My FH has a very small family so he said I'm gonna have to deal with the backlash. What do i do? The reception is the most expensive part of the whole wedding experience and we do not want to go over 10K.

Posted On: Nov 2, 2009 at 4:07 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate

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Nathalie D.
Community Headliner

Wedding: 10/09/2011

12 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!


analy m.
Community Superstar

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 5
Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 4:09 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
We had a similar problem. We decided that if they had not seen us in more than 2 years, they were not coming. Sounds harsh...but we don't have unlimited funds!

Nathalie D.
Community Headliner

Wedding: 10/09/2011
Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 4:14 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Ugh...i just feel like there is going to be a lot of complaining. Good idea though Analy. I'm also thinking of having an adult only reception so to minimize the extra children. I have my two and I also know some people with bring children but it most likely won't be as crazy if i don't state that.

kate@panachedesign
Community Headliner

Panache Design LLC
Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 4:18 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Honestly the best way to handle this is to make lists. Start with A - B - C. Put your closest friends and immediate family members in "A" and branch out from there.
You can always add people in but you cannot take out. People will decline to come and those spots can be replaced with others from list B and C.
Children that you don't know, do not have to be invited and yes facebook is a great social networking tool but people will understand that budgets are tight and not everyone can be included especially if you do not talk to some frequently.
If you need any help please give us a call or send us an email. Congrats and good luck.
katie and heidi
panache design

Kari95630
Community Superstar

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 1
Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 4:21 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
We stated on our invitations that it was for "adults only" and that really helped keep the guest list down (otherwise that would've been 40 extra heads to feed and entertain). Our total number of guests were 100 and we did it under 10K, no problem. You can do it! ;)

Meaghan K.
Community Superstar

Married: 10/04/2008
Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 5:35 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Why not do a simple cake and punch reception (or heavy hors d'oeuvres) in the afternoon? If you do it at that time of day your guests will not come expecting a full meal. Nothing says your wedding has to be elaborate in terms of food and it can save you a bundle. That way you can splurge on things like location and open bar and still have all your loved ones around you on your day.

The Potters
Community Superstar

Married: 09/12/2009
Reviews: 8
Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 5:45 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
I would just put a post out or write on your status that we wish we could invite everyone to the wedding, but we are simply unable to do so. But you all will be in our thoughts on our special day. Something like that. You can't invite everyone, you just can't. People will complain, but they will get over it. Say you promise to post lots of pics for everyone to see.

HIS_WIFEY_09
Community Superstar

Married: 11/14/2009
Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 6:57 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
We have a total of 150 just family n close friends. We spent around mayb just a little over 10k so my ? Is what is your total after adding everyone meaning just fan from both sides.

mahoganieyes
Community Headliner

Wedding: 09/10/2011
Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 8:54 PM | Flag As Inappropriate
Brunch/Lunch weddings or heavy appetizers can sometimes help with the reception cost. I would definetly make two list, A list and B list. A list is for mom, dad, siblings, grandmother the immediate, then maybe into first cousins you interact with. No kids, and inviting no 1 for people not in a serious relationship. DIY centerpieces, and possible invites.

Nathalie D.
Community Headliner

Wedding: 10/09/2011
Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 10:27 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I love all your ideas ladies! Thanks...you guys are great! :-)

erikatarrance
Community Superstar

Wedding: 07/23/2010
Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 10:32 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I have that similiar problem I have over 40 cousins and ten aunts and uncles but I choose to do a destination wedding and my formal at home reception is for adults only so that cuts out a lot of people.

Konichiwa
Community Superstar

Wedding: 01/17/2010
Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 10:32 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
While people may complain that they weren't invited, if you can't afford it then you can't afford it! They will just have to understand that you weren't snubbing them but you just couldn't afford to feed that many people. The budget is just not big enough. I had to really trim down my list, I didn't invite anyone from my church and I didn't invite anyone from work. I only invited my closest personal friends and my family.

MrsWhite
Community Performer

Wedding: 06/07/2013
Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 10:59 AM | Flag As Inappropriate
I would invite only those that I am close to. If you haven't talked to them in a while then they are out. It may be difficult at first but this is your big day...sacrifices have to be made. I know that everyone loves a wedding but its your day and you should have the wedding you want without cutting costs other places to invite someone that you haven't spoken to in a year.
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