Honoring a deceased mother of the groom
My fiance's mother passed away about three years ago, and he was very close to her. He wants to do a picture of her to honor her at the entrance of the country club where the ceremony is going to be held, and I think that is great. However, he wants to do a picture of her in her wedding gown. While it is a beautiful picture, I do not think it would be appropriate. I think she would have wanted to be remembered as a mother at her son's wedding, not as a bride. What do you all think?

Married: 06/11/2011
Reviews: 2
Posted On: May 29, 2011 at 9:45 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

14 Comments | Login or Signup to post a comment!

void
Married: 2+ years ago
May 29, 2011 at 9:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think a photo of her with her son would be more appropriate.

Married: 05/21/2011
Reviews: 7
May 29, 2011 at 9:52 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Agree with Kittens. Something of mother and son just makes more sense.

Married: 09/10/2011
May 29, 2011 at 10:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Kittens and Amanda about the picture.
I am doing something somewhat similar, but without the picture. I will have each mother carry a certain amount of red roses down the aisle, there will be chairs (outside ceremony) in front off to the side, before the ceremony starts the officiant will say something nice and have the mothers come up and place a red rose on a chair for each person being honored as the names are read.
Edited On: May 29, 2011 at 10:52 PM

Married: 11/05/2011
May 29, 2011 at 10:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with the other 3 ladies. My FH parents are both deceased and to honor them their pictures are going to be carried down the isle as my parents and his step-mom are being seated. We are also incorporating his mom's favorite flower and color in the boutonnieres.

Ab
Married: 10/29/2011
May 29, 2011 at 11:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Like does he want a big picture or something? It's pretty customary to have old wedding photos of family members, I think it adds a sentimental touch. But it does get tricky if there are divorces/remarriages, then that's not such a great idea. Did he give you any reasons as to why he wanted that specific picture? Maybe his upcoming wedding has made him think more about how his mom might have been/acted at hers. I'd be delicate in your approach with this. Good luck! :-)

Married: 06/11/2011
Reviews: 2
May 29, 2011 at 11:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's a large picture. He wants it because she looks beautiful in it, and I think so too. I would just like to be the only "bride" at the wedding, but yes I do have to be delicate.

Ab
Married: 10/29/2011
May 29, 2011 at 11:48 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
hmm if it's a large picture I dunno, plus I mean I do get the only "bride" thing..I dunno if they do this nowadays, I would think but can he like shrink the pic somehow itty bitty, or even take a digital pic of the pic then size it down..he could maybe somehow get like those bouquet charm things brides use for honoring loved ones..but he could somehow fashion it into cuff links with the pic on the bottom or something..that way the pic is close to him the whole time but not so intrusive..unless you feel that would be too odd for you? or impossible to pull off.
Edited On: May 29, 2011 at 11:48 PM

Hayley C™
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 1
May 30, 2011 at 1:45 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Maybe suggest another way to honor his mother. Have her picture on his cuff links. Add a poem to the program. But if he really loves the picture of her on her wedding day, do ALL your relatives: parents, grandparents - from their wedding day.

Although you may not see her,
you know your Mom is here,
you carry her within your heart
and feel her presence near.

You know she will be happy
to see your wedding day,
she knows you’ve found your one true love
and that you’ll be okay.

You know that as she watches
your wedding from above,
she’ll send you all her blessings
and with it all her love.

If you listen very carefully
you’ll hear your mother say,
“It’s the love you show that matters most
each and every day.”


Hayley C™
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 1
May 30, 2011 at 1:55 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Dear Lord please clear a spot for her:
she should have the perfect view.
Her little man's a Groom today,
and I am counting on you.
Let him feel her presence;
as he waits at the end of the aisle.
But let him notice her abscence;
if only for a while.
And know that if she could;
she would be here with him today.
Dear Lord please clear a spot for her;
she should have the perfect view.
And if she should get sad today;
Dear Lord I count on you.

cuff links
http://www.etsy.com/listing/73296851/cuff-links-something-for-the-dudes
http://imallshoppe.com/Custom-Photo-Square-Cufflinks-P332779.aspx


Married: 05/01/2011
May 30, 2011 at 2:13 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
In my opinion, I may have the same feelings as u. I can understand your father's love to his mother. He wanted to share the happy time with his mother.However, wedding plays a very important role in our lifetime and the day belongs to the bride and groom. I think the pic that his mother is wearing the wedding gown is not appropriate. There are many other ways to remember his mother.So maybe you can make a communication with your fiance.

Married: 08/13/2011
May 30, 2011 at 8:51 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Love the poems and totally stealing them since my Mom and Hubbs dad have both passed! *sniffle*

Married: 06/11/2011
Reviews: 2
May 30, 2011 at 9:25 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
those are some great ideas. Thanks!

Married: 06/11/2011
May 30, 2011 at 10:08 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
As someone who has lost a parent.. I think I would just let him have this moment exactly how he wants it. If that's his favorite picture of her, then let it be. People are going to remember you as the bride, and they will just think that its great that you had her there with you. I went to a wedding Saturday where they had a giant (like 18x24 or larger) of the guy's dad who has passed, his ashes, and his rosary beads all on the table right by the signiture mat. I thought it was really nice because anyone who knows him knows his dad was a HUGE part of his life and it was just really nice to know that he was there even though he isn't living.

Married: 12/13/2014
Dec 17, 2013 at 9:31 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Both of my fiancée's parents are deceased. His mother used to wear pearls a lot and I asked him if I could wear pearls for the wedding to honor her memory. He thought that was a wonderful idea. I've also found a vintage pearl necklace that is a bit different from the ones she used to wear, but still a good way to remember her. Remember that it is a time for joy and that is what his mother would want. Maybe you could do something a bit more personal, but not something that would take the attention away from you and your groom. Good luck! And congrats.
Login or Signup to post a comment!

Topics

Vow of Conduct