honor grandparents that have died..
I was VERY close to my grandma. My sister had cancer as a child (I was really young) and I stayed with her for weeks at a time while my parents were at the hospital (which was 2 hours away) with my sister. So I was very, very close to her and miss her A LOT and wish she could be with me on my wedding day.. Anyway, so I'd really like to honor her at my wedding. She played the piano so I thought about putting a candle or flower arrangement on the piano to honor/remember her, and I want to put something in the program about it.

So anyway, I also have a grandfather who died also, who I wasn't very close to. And FH has 3 grandparents who passed away (2 that he never even knew) but he says he feels like his family would be offended if I mentioned my grandmother and none of his grandparents.. which I understand. Especially since his grandmother (her husband passed away) will be at the wedding and I'm sure she would feel as if her husband was "forgotten." So... (cont)

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 1
Posted On: May 26, 2010 at 12:26 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 1
May 26, 2010 at 12:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
So first of all, that is a lot of people to mention. My grandmother, my grandfather, his grandmother, grandfather, and other grandfather lol But its REALLY important to me to honor my grandmother and its something I really want to do. But how do I do so without offending his family? Or my grandma who is still alive (since my grandfather was her husband..)

Sorry if this is confusing, too many grandparents lol :) I just don't know what to do. I'd really like to do something for my grandmother since she meant so much to me, but adding in all 5 grandparents would kind of take away from what I was trying to do.. Which was set her a part as an important person in my life.

So what should I do?

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 6
May 26, 2010 at 12:34 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well, I had the same problem. I was super close to my grandma, but there were other people that I would have been obligated to mention too. My husband put his foot down and said no memorials at the wedding. He wanted to focus on the happiness of the occasion and not make it "like a funeral". So, I mentioned her in my thank you speech, and then the next morning I visited her and grandpa's grave and left my bridal boquet. I know she was with me at my wedding, and it was a tribute to her that she would have loved. It was a nice moment for DH and I, since I cried like a little baby too.

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 1
May 26, 2010 at 12:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well I cried like a little baby just reading that! I love that you put your bridal bouquet at her grave, that is such a sweet gesture, and in some way it would make me feel like she was involved in my wedding in a way. I guess not having any memorials is the best way. I found a glass "memorial vase" on a website once where you can get a loved one's name etched in and I think I might put flowers in it and put it on the piano, but just not mention. That way I know about it and I still feel like I did my part to honor her, but I don't offend anyone. Thanks analy!

Married: 2+ years ago
May 26, 2010 at 12:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Does anyone in your family have wedding photos or just couple photos of the various sets of grandparents? I think it would be really neat to have on the guestbook table (or any table) an area set up with wedding photos framed of your various grandparents...you could do your parents weddings pics as well. You could put little place cards saying each is, their wedding date, etc.
Dont know if its the kind of thing you are thinking, but I think it could be a really cool way to honor them (and who wouldnt love looking at old wedding photos?)

Married: 09/18/2010
May 26, 2010 at 12:50 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Hi katie! We are doing something similar. My grandpa died about a 1 1/2 ago, who I was VERY close to, so I am carrying 1 flower in my boquet that represents his favorite color. My FH's brother died many years ago and he will have a flower on his lapel representing his favorite color. No one really knows accept our parents and my grandma. It's personal and for me to talk about it, is very hard. That's why we will not broadcast it cuz I'll lose it. Hope that helps alittle?!

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 6
May 26, 2010 at 12:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think the flowers on the piano is a great idea. Maybe you could put a photo of her up there next to it, with a candle?
May 26, 2010 at 1:01 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't feel obligate to mention every person by name that has passed away, especially if you weren't close to them, no one expects you to do this. You could have your officiant offer a Prayer or Blessing on your Grandmother's behalf, mentioning her by name "and all others who are with us today in spirit".

I've had other couple's that have opted to have me read this before they exchange vows...Although we can't see you, we know you are here smiling down, watching over us. As we say "I DO" Forever in our hearts, Forever in our lives and so we say our vows, In loving memory of you.

Other ways; mention her on your printed program, have a charm with her picture on it attached to your bouquet, display her picture with a lit candle near your own guest book, wear a piece of her jewelry or put in on/in your bouquet.

Hope that helps!

Married: 08/28/2010
Reviews: 9
May 26, 2010 at 1:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We're putting chairs in the very front with memorial "bouquets" on them that will later go on their headstones. We're also put this on our programs "In Remembrance ….
Sadly there are members of our families that could not be with us today in person but we know that they are with us in spirit and in our hearts today and everyday. We remember them with love."

Married: 04/01/2011
May 26, 2010 at 1:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I LOVE the charm pictures on the flowers... Where would I find some of those... I would LOVE to do that with my flowers!

Married: 2+ years ago
May 26, 2010 at 1:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH's great grandfather raised him and he passed away from cancer too, we planned on getting the memorial candle and picture frame and keeping it lit during both the ceremony and reception. My MOH Is in vo-tech for commercial arts so she has access to a laser emgraver so she's going to laser them for us, along with the champagne flutes for the bridal party.

Married: 07/24/2010
May 26, 2010 at 1:28 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I got some angel wings to put in my bouquet. :)
May 26, 2010 at 1:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Joyce - You can make the chrams yourself from supplies from Micheal's or Hobby Lobby or here are two on-line sources: http://www.etsy.com/search_results.php?search_query=custom photo charms&search_type=tag_title&page=1&min=&max=&order=price_ascs
or http://www.photojewelrymaking.com/weddingphotojewelry.aspx

Married: 06/05/2010
Reviews: 5
May 26, 2010 at 1:36 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I really like the charm idea... I have quite a few memorials too, I was really close to my grandma before she died and as it gets closer to my wedding, I miss her more and more, cause I know she would've loved to be here.. I think honoring and rembembering loved ones is a great idea during the wedding. We have an area on our program that just simply states : The Memory Candle is placed in honor of the loved ones who are no longer with us: and it lists 7 people (my grandparents, a grandpa, my baby cousin, FH's grandparents, & FH's aunt). I wanted a personalized candle with everyone's name on it, but I just couldn't see spending $50 on a candle.. so I bought a plain candle and a pretty stand, and I'm gonna place pictures in a nice collage frame to show who our candle is lit for.. I hope it turns out looking the way I envision it to, so we'll see... but I think it's great you want to honor your grandma!

Married: 06/05/2010
Reviews: 5
May 26, 2010 at 1:38 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
& I love analy's bridal boquet idea!!!

Married: 10/23/2010
Reviews: 1
May 26, 2010 at 1:51 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
The simple candle on the piano would be a quiet and subtle reminder that would be special to you and not draw a lot of attention if you didn't want to mention everyone by name or offend other relatives. They do have lovely memorial candles if you wanted to let that one candle be for all the grandparents and list eveyone in the program for that 1 candle. The fact that it is on the piano still makes your grandmother the most special.

Married: 02/11/2010
May 26, 2010 at 1:52 PM • 
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Married: 07/02/2010
May 26, 2010 at 2:05 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm doing the charms on my boquet as well. If you live in Canada, Dollarama has the mini picture frame charms in with the scrapbooking items. : )

Married: 06/11/2011
May 26, 2010 at 2:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
OMG I have just sat here and cried and cried. Really beautiful ideas.

Married: 08/15/2010
May 26, 2010 at 2:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
What we are doing is a rose ceremony which we will be putting a rose in a vase for each one of the loved ones who have passed that will only be there in spirit cause i really wanted to do something special for my grandma and grandpa and my dad since i was really close to them same with a few other aunts uncles etc... so that was a way were going to be honoring them

Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
May 27, 2010 at 6:51 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Yep. Crying here :-( My gma and I were inseperable for years and she passed away just this past November (ok..crying harder. craaaaaap) She meant the world to me and I haven't found a real way to honor her at the wedding because we would have to include my dad (which is fine), FH's gpa and other set of gparents. Which is fine but it started to look crowded. So I went to my gpas a few weeks back and he gave me gmas pearls to wear (necklace and bracelet) on my wedding day. It is such a great way to have gma there. My gpa also flew in orchids for gma for their wedding so I am getting a really nice orchid hair clip and wearing that in memory of gma instead of a veil. :-) Great idea bout the flowers Analy!!
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