Style & Decor

Honeymoon Fund Vs Gift Registry?

My fiance and I have everything we need since we've been together for so long.. Is there a nice "polite" way to ask for guest to put money in our HONEYMOON FUND instead of gifts?

Posted On: Oct 27, 2009 at 5:24 PM | Vendors are allowed to participate

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pwerner

Wedding: 09/19/2010

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Aussie Bride

Wedding: 02/07/2010

Posted On: Oct 27, 2009 at 5:28 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I am thinking about doing the same thing. We have everything we need really so I have no idea what to put on a registry. We cant have a honey moon due to him being in the navy and getting ready for deployment but a fund to help me afford flights to visit him when he goes to port in certain areas would be great. I still havent figured out how to word it though.

RavenK

Wedding: 09/04/2010

Posted On: Oct 27, 2009 at 5:31 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
www.goingtobewed.com lets you picks what you want ie: honeymoon help, flights, house dwn pmt etc.

analy m.

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 5

Posted On: Oct 27, 2009 at 5:32 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
We used honeyfund.com and it was great. Very reliable and easy to use, and even made us a thank you note checklist. Aussie: on ourwishingwell.com you can create your own items to register for, so you could create a "hubbyflight" fund or whatever you choose. :)

Future Mrs.Schmidt

Wedding: 08/07/2010

Posted On: Oct 27, 2009 at 5:34 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Treat your Honeymoon fund like a registry, there are companies online that allow you to make a honeymoon registry. Does your travel company were you are booking your honeymoon have such a thing? If not, there are other companies online like honeyfund.com and honeymoonwishes.com, that allow you to create items for your guests to contribute too, like "One night stay in the Honeymoon suite" and you pick an amount and how many 'donations' of that amount to pay for it, theres also "Couples Massage" "Airplane Tickets" "Dinner on the beach" etc. and you can create your own ofcourse, it would be like any other registry so all you have to do is put the website info on your wedding website, but not on your invites or invite inserts, you put your wedding website on those, and let the parents and bridal party know where youre registered and what you need, they always get asked, and then guests spread the word..

RavenK

Wedding: 09/04/2010

Posted On: Oct 27, 2009 at 5:36 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
er.. n/m that's the wrong site I was thinking of www.ourwishingwell.com we are in the same situation and just letting ppl know word of mouth and maybe putting the site on our save-the-dates

Click2GoTravel

Click2GoTravel.com

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 11:40 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Absolutely! Go to my site: Click2GoTravel.com and check us out. You can register for your honeymoon. You can choose all your activities, you can pick your romantic destination. You will receive a free wedding website, announcement cards to your guests. This is way easier than having guests lug / ship gifts, they simply make payment onine to your honeymoon choice and you receive notification of what they hvae given you. Email me Janine@Click2GoTravel.com if you need any help!

giggles3287

Wedding: 10/16/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 12:05 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Ok I just found a saying that we can all change up! I so needed this advice and many thanks to pwerner for bringing this up. "If you were thinking of giving a gift, to help us on our way. A gift of cash towards our house, would really make our day. However, if you prefer to purchase a gift, feel free to surprise us in your own way." I was thinking just changing the word house to honeymoon! What do you think?

pwerner

Wedding: 09/19/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 12:21 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I like it!!! I like it alot!!! I just didn't want to have people be offended if I ask for $$ instead.. thanks so much for all the feedback!

giggles3287

Wedding: 10/16/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 12:25 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Analy- did they take a percent out for using their company? Anything extra would be great to know. I was talking to my mom about it and she was like I don't know if that is acceptable or how people will feel about it. grr alittle frustrating.

Mrs. Katie Rinker

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 9

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 4:10 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
We did both a gift registry & Honeymoon fund & then my Aunt & Uncle paid for the whole honeymoon as a wedding & shower present!!!! Which was awesome god i love them!!!

MDLS

Wedding: 10/24/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 4:17 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Wonderful information ladies, thank you so much! I also need registries like these because both my fiancee and I have two households and so we have everything that we need! A honeymoon registry etc. is great!

Fernnie

Wedding: 06/12/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 4:56 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
This is how I have mine worded. "More than just kisses so far we've shared, Our home has been made with Love and Care, Most things we need we've already got, And in our home we can't fit a lot! A wishing well we thought would be great, (But only if you wish to participate), A gift of money is placed in the well, Then make a wish .... but shhh don't tell! Once we've replaced the old with the new, We can look back and say it was thanks to you! And in return for your kindness, we're sure That one day soon you will get what you wished for."

kristinmarie81

Wedding: 03/13/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 5:39 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Meaghan--As grown adults, we have already bought all the things that you normally get when you move out of your parent's house. I haven't lived at home in 10 years and my fiance has been out for 12. We have really nice stuff and already bought a house. What the hell else are they supposed to get us? I have talked to some of my family and this was actually my stepdad's idea to setup the honeymoon fund. If my guests think it a great idea, then how is it tacky?

MDLS

Wedding: 10/24/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 6:06 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Honeymoons are not just soley about sex. It's a nice vacation, a nice getaway to celebrate the beginning of the your lives together. Since that is what YOUR definition of what a honeymoon is then it would be no different than accepting and having your guests buy you lingerie for your 'sex fest'. They may not have given you cash outright to enjoy your sexapalooza but instead specifically gave you the items to enjoy your sex with.

Rev. Carleen

"With This Ring" Wedding Ceremonies

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 11:18 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Well, I'm all for having a lovely honeymoon, but one that you can afford; not one that someone else paid for. It is never OK to ask for cash, no matter how cute the wording. I was not always an ordained clergy and had a wild youth. I had a child before marrying and when I did finally marry another guy 12 years later, we had already lived together and both had households on our own before that. We still did not "have everything" and even after 17 years of marriage now, do not "have everything we need". Linens (sheets, bath and kitchen towels) constantly wear out, we love doing home improvements (guess what...Lowes has gift cards) there are SO many things you could register for that you haven't even considered. Isn't there always something you wanted but it was a splurge that you never would buy yourself, like a print for your walls, a cappucino maker, a margarita mixer, etc. Why ask the services to help with this anyway? You want to save $? They take a fee for handling your cash gifts.

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 11:41 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
LMAO Meahgan, did you just call a honeymoon a "glorified sex fest"?!?! that's a new one to me, very funny

Holly P.

Wedding: 03/26/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 11:50 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
My FI and I are doing a registry like at Home Depot and such plus we will also have a "honeyfun". I cant believe she said "sex fest" I only thinks it funny because its stupid. Have fun on your "sex fest", hahaha.

Bayridgeqt

Wedding: 07/02/2010

Posted On: Nov 02, 2009 at 11:52 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
http://www.honeymoonwishes.com/

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 12:07 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I used www.thehoneymoon.com worked out great. They charge 7% but that's the same as sales tax in most states anyway. Rev. Carleen is right that you shouldn't plan a honeymoon you can't afford because you never know how many gifts you'll actually get. Also make sure to have a traditional registry as well, even a small one, because some people prefer that and you want to give the option. We got married over 3 hours from where we live and left on our honeymoon right after so we had no way of transporting gifts. This worked out perfectly for us. Only 2 guests gave us something off the traditional registry. Holly I agree, if your honeymoon really is just a "glorified sex fest" I feel kinda bad for you. I think it's funny that anyone would actually think that's what it's all about!

DawnDawn

Wedding: 03/14/2010

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 1:16 AM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I googled gift registry wording and found a bunch. Even one for our honeymoon treasure chest.

giggles3287

Wedding: 10/16/2010

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 7:10 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Fernnie- I must have been on the same website as you were. Thats were I got the other one at. I thought one of them was kinda inappropriate (not the one you or I put but the other one on that site).

Meaghan K.

Married: 10/04/2008

Posted On: Nov 03, 2009 at 7:15 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
"If my guests think it a great idea, then how is it tacky?" Ah yes, the ghost of rationalization rears its ugly head. Many people think this about cash bars, two tiered weddings, dollar dances and other wedding things as well... Like Rev Colleen said, if you are truly blessed enough to have everything you 'need' either upgrade your current belongings or, I suggest, donate to charity. But, I am sure you will do as you wish.

Lee R.

Wedding: 06/12/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:30 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
It is a great idea. A honeymoon gift registry is to get extra money for couples to do the extras on their honeymoon. Not intended to pay for the whole thing. I have known many couples that have used this and have been very happy. They just did not need another toaster or food processor. There was mention about the service fee "for handling your money" think about it, this is a company and they are not just handling your money, they are processing your gifts, accounting and customer service to not only to the couple but to the guests that may need assistance. And yes the 7% service fee is cheaper than most state tax. Personally I will be using Honeymoonwishes.com, they have great customer service, you can chose where your service fee comes from and they let you request payment on your registry when ever you like. Plus a friend of mine used it and they had a great experience with this service.

Nda_ r.

Wedding: 06/05/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:33 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree, a honeymoon registry is tacky. So there really is no polite way to ask guest to contribute to that.

Lee R.

Wedding: 06/12/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:35 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
But it's not tacky, tacky is just asking your guests "just give us cash" by doing a registry they feel like they are buying that part of a very special time. It just like being registered at Macy's or any where else. It's just this way the couple who has everything is not stuck with a bunch of stuff that will sit in a box and not get used because they have four of them.

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:38 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
eh EVERYTHING is perceived as tacky by someone somewhere...it's a SUBJECTIVE term....it's all good! You have to make your own judgments, if it works for you and your guests then so be it....there are TON of things I find tacky that other people just adore. Doesn't make me or them right about it! Who cares?

Nda_ r.

Wedding: 06/05/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:39 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I was talking to my mom about it just today and she said she would be very put off by that. It's practically the same as asking for cash. If you can't afford your own honeymoon maybe you shouldn't have one.

Lee R.

Wedding: 06/12/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:48 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
The whole purpose of a registry is not to pay for your honeymoon but to help with the extras. It is more common these days for couples to register for their honeymoon then household items. The guests will buy "portions" of your honeymoon and feel like they are a part of it. You should call a honeymoon registry and talk to them about it, I found that after I spoke to them I felt a lot better about the whole idea. Trust me if you already have household items this is a great thing.

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:55 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I agree if you can't afford your honeymoon you shouldn't EXPECT someone else to pay for it...but that's like saying you shouldn't register for towels because if you can't afford your own towels you shouldn't expect someone else to buy them for you. I don't expect any kind of gifts ever. But if I am asked what I want for a gift, which is why people want to know where you're registered, I will give them an honest answer. When I give a gift I want it to be something the person really wants and needs. I love travel way more than "stuff" so that's what I registered for. You're totally right, there are going to be people who are put off by it. But if I lived my whole life making decisions only to avoid offending people I'd drive myself nuts! I take them into consideration of course but there's only so much you can do

Mrs. Sarah Halliwell

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 10

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 5:59 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
We also have everthign we need because we have lived toegtehr for 3 years. We did a honeymoon registry and it worked otu great. i think if you want to do it go for it!Check out a local travel agent. We did our through them and it worked out great! And as said, its not to pay for the whoel thing but extras. i spoke to many peope atthe wedding an dthey said they all loved being able t contribute to or honeymoon. they said it was 1) easy and 2) they felt like they were able to help send us to somewhere great

Consonance J.

Married: 06/13/2009

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 6:08 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Most people prefer to give a gift that will have a lasting, sentimental value. Sure, vacations create memories, but many people like you to be able to think of them when you use something. Surely you can upgrade some household items or maybe get some nice china. You can also have a limited registry and people might just decide to give you cash.

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 6:12 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I definitely think that if you have the honeymoon registry you should still have a traditional one as well, for the people who prefer that as the PP mentioned. I had both and almost everyone did the honeymoon registry! SO I guess they were ok with it...but c'mon, it's not that they want to give you something of lasting sentimental value, what's lasting or sentimental about a Crockpot or towels?

HPFanatic

Wedding: 10/10/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 6:16 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
A honeymoon fund is pretty much like asking for cash, because usually they'll just cut you a check at the end, not actually book things for you. So even though someone buys you "a romantic brunch for two" you don't necessarily have to spend the money on it, which is why some people don't like them. If you do a honeymoon registry, do a small gift registry too. Some people are really put off by giving cash and checks for weddings, so they want to give you a physical gift to help start your new life. You can always find things you want. Upgraded towels or 800 thread count sheets? Ice cream or bread maker? Blu-Ray player? I'm sure there's stuff you wish you had.

3.6.10Bride

Wedding: 03/06/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 6:19 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
I personally wouldn't think it was horrible if one of my friends or family members registered for their honeymoon. I mean, the whole point of a registry is to get things you want, so if that's what you want, you might as well tell people. That said, some people like to give tangible items, so you might want to consider registering somewhere for some traditional items, just so that you don't get something weird that you have no use for whatsoever.

Consonance J.

Married: 06/13/2009

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 6:21 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
Actually, my parents still have plenty of things that they received from their wedding 40 years ago. I love that I think of the people who gave us the gifts when I use our pyrex set or stemware or cookware. Sure, people have different priorities, but many people in older generations would rather give something more lasting.

Laura K.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 6:23 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
aww congrats on your parents being married so long! I love hearing of anyone making it 40 years :)

CamoBride

Wedding: 08/07/2010

Posted On: Nov 06, 2009 at 9:54 PM \| Flag As Inappropriate
On our wedding website, under the Registry page, we used the heading "Wishing Well Wedding" and selected a poem from the following site: http://www.bridesofaustralia.com/Wishing_Well_Wording_Poem.html Yes, there are some that prefer a gift, there are even some that will buy you a gift that's not even on your registry, and there are some that don't mind giving cash, a check, or even a gift card. You'll never please everyone, but it's not about them, it's about the two of you. If you let people know what you are using the cash for (i.e. a new home, a honeymoon), then they do feel that they are helping you get something that you can use.

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