I have a dilema and I need WW's patented honesty
FH and I were talking after church on Sunday about possibly going to the courthouse and being married. Granted, the wedding is pretty much planned and we're all set to go on May 2013. We thought that we just do it privately and go ahead with the wedding as planned. I'm on board with the idea, especially since I feel like we're already married, and this weeks marks the 3 year anniversary of when we met. The only thing is that I would feel bad if my Mom wasn't there. She's really excited for the wedding and I don't want to take anything away from her. Should I tell her?

Married: 05/18/2013
Posted On: Apr 16, 2012 at 12:29 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate0 likes

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Married: 06/09/2012
Reviews: 1
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You don't want to keep that from her. She would be very hurt if she heard it from someone else. Let's face it , something like that is going to be pretty hard to keep a secret for a year.
Edited On: Apr 16, 2012 at 12:31 PM

Married: 07/27/2012
Reviews: 8
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would tell her, but I do have a question. Why are you guys going to the court if you still want to do the wedding in May of next year? Personally I wouldn't do this unless there was a very important reason to do so.

Married: 10/13/2012
Reviews: 7
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Why not just wait?

Anonymous
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 4
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree, I would just wait.

I considered doing this, but its no point. You lived as bf/gf, and fiance's this long. Waiting won't hurt.

Married: 09/09/2012
Reviews: 5
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Whats the rush?

Just Reenski
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 9
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would never want to get married without my parents and his parents present, even if it was the courthouse. Tell her.

Married: 09/15/2012
Reviews: 8
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I can understand you wanting to get married sooner and still have the wedding of your dreams next year but do bring your mom into your decision. Every mother can't wait for the day she sees her daughter walk down the aisle.

Also, if you do marry this year, perhaps you could call next year's event a vow renewal and celebration of your marriage.

Married: 05/18/2013
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
There really isn't a rush. To be honest the decision came from all the breakups that was happening around us.

Married: 11/13/2011
Reviews: 6
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well I know that if I had done that or eloped to Vegas or somewhere, most of my family would be SUPER pissed. I wouldn't let the surrounding breakup scare you, in fact, I see that as a bad reason to jump the gun. Wait it out and have a beautiful wedding with your friends and family!

Married: 06/09/2012
Reviews: 1
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Shileta, honestly, getting married now isn't going to prevent a break up. Sounds like you are wanting to rush it for the wrong reason. You both have to love and trust each other and know that your relationship has endurance through the engagement and througout the marriage. It's easier to break up with a boyfriend or fiance than it is a husband. Think it out long and hard, don't make a important decision for the wrong reasons.

Ab
Married: 10/29/2011
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Sorry there has been so much negativity around you regarding relationships..sounds like you got scared the same could happen to you..that's a normal feeling to have if a lot of people around you are breaking up..However you know the relationship you have and being engaged til next May should still work out..if for some reason you are worried, I'd spend the year working on that and becoming even closer by the time of the wedding. I agree, your mom would be crushed if you got married without her probably.

Married: 10/15/2011
Reviews: 7
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:48 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't fall for the pressure of all the breakups. Besides, marriages are not breakup-resistant either :-(

Enjoy the engagement. Obviously I can't speak for your mom, but mine would be heartbroken. So if there's no rush, engagement is also a great period in life.

Also, some stories I read here, ladies are actually better off without those men. Like the guy who sent his mom to break up? Kick him to the curb and NEVER look back except to count your blessings. You're not such a case :-)

Married: 11/06/2012
Reviews: 4
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If you decide to do it, I would tell your mom.

Married: 11/02/2012
Reviews: 7
Apr 16, 2012 at 12:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Don't look at everyone else's breakups as a reflection of your own relationship. If you two love each other and are ready to commit to only each other, then you should be in the same place a year from now. Getting married because you feel it will be the only way to keep you two together would be going into the marriage with the wrong mentality in the first place...

Married: 07/20/2012
Reviews: 14
Apr 16, 2012 at 1:03 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
why change? is there a problem? if its just wanting to be married now, i would go through with the normal ceremony for your family. Especially if you've sent out invites & such. If its money, & you won't lose anything by cancelling then go ahead with the courthouse. If your still going to have a reception after, you might as well have a traditional wedding. you won't save much - well not as much as you would save if you didn't have a reception.

really its up to you what you really want. folks will get over the dissappointment eventually.

Think about if later in life you look back & regret not having a ceremony. Just way all your options.

Married: 05/18/2013
Apr 16, 2012 at 1:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Thanks everyone. You're right. I called FH and talked to him. He said he was good either way because he knows he's not going anywhere. I have to take the blame for being paranoid. And my paranoia and his desire to make me feel at ease isn't a reason to jump the gun. We're going to wait. I have to not let other people's relationships (and my hormones) effect me.

WasSoon2BMrsSmith
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 5
Apr 16, 2012 at 1:06 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
either your marriage will or will not last, don't go get married cause everyone else is breaking up. I say just wait everyone already knows your engaged and if you have nothing to fear in your own relationship than waiting wont hurt, and if you are worried about your own relationship then rushing will actually hinder.

Married: 03/14/2014
Reviews: 3
Apr 16, 2012 at 1:09 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
50% of marriages break up, so with all the break ups around you your relationship stands a great chance of being on that other side of the coin! Just wait and let this nonsense around you guys pass and be thankful for what you two share. Relationships have their ups and downs. The ones that seem to make it are the ones that are willing to work together through the downs. Wouldn't you rather know thats possible to do prior to getting married? I would! You'll be fine! Take some time to enjoy being engaged!

Married: 07/20/2012
Reviews: 14
Apr 16, 2012 at 1:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
i just saw the break up comment... why not just pull in the date?

Married: 06/16/2012
Reviews: 3
Apr 16, 2012 at 1:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would just wait. Our wedding is just two months away and I know how happy my mother will be on that day. Don't let the breakups scare you, you and your FH are in control of your relationship
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