Giving Wedding gifts
I'm starting to notice that many people have different ideas of what they give at a wedding. (This didn't come up on the topic of my wedding but the topic of what I've given to others)

Just curious what everyone else typically gives as a wedding guests and what influences it.

I've been raised to give the gift according to the type of bar. You cut your gift in half if it isn't an open bar.
Typically I give $200(open bar) and $100 for cash bar/no bar.

My FH never knew to give wedding gifts. When we first started dating he invited me to his cousin's wedding and showed up empty handed.

(If it is someone close I will give more. With one exception. FBIL: We were unable to give alot. He got engaged after us but had his wedding before ours(Very short engagement) and we had recently put down all our deposits and it was shortly after FFIL had his destination wedding.I feel bad about that but we were broke. )

Married: 05/07/2011
Edited On: Mar 16, 2011 at 8:03 PM
Posted On: Mar 16, 2011 at 7:59 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 05/07/2011
Reviews: 6
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:09 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I've only been to 4 weddings that I remember: my sister in September, my best friend in November, my sister's ex best friend in 2009, my ex-best friend in 2007. I didn't give a gift at my ex-best friend's wedding because I simply couldn't afford it. I had planned to, but she pushed the wedding up at the last minute so I had to pay rush fees on my dress which took my extra cash. I don't remember what I got for my sister's ex-best friend, it was so long ago. For my sister's wedding and my best friend's wedding I let them both know what my budget for a gift was and asked them what on their registries they really wanted that was in my price range and that's what I got them.


P.S. around here typical gifts are in the $30-$50 range.
Edited On: Mar 16, 2011 at 8:09 PM

Married: 03/26/2011
Reviews: 5
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Soon to be Mrs. Lauzon that actually seems pretty decent... and on the beginning end of friends and other getting married I will use that rule of thumb and I hope people use it at out wedding :)

Married: 10/16/2010
Reviews: 7
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:14 PM • 
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Meghan
Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:17 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
$200! Are you serious? I don't care what type of bar it is. To me, that's alot- and we are financially sound! Even $100 is alot.

The largest gift I recieved at my first wedding was a $120 Mikasa vase- and that was from a sportscaster/former professional football player.

But it also depends on the couple. I'd certainly give more to an older couple than some poor struggling college students who could probably use it... I sort of do gifts based on their income- not just my own. I know some of my friends could never give me a $200 gift, and giving them one would only make them feel bad.

Married: 05/15/2011
Reviews: 1
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Um, how on earth would you know about the bar before the event? I certainly would never ask "So what type of bar are you having?" to a bride or groom.

I have always given gifts based on how well I knew the couple and what I could afford.

Married: 10/16/2010
Reviews: 7
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:20 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have to agree $200 is a lot. I only gave that much once and it was because I didn't attend the wedding and I saved a lot buy not traveling. I also could afford it at the time. I am having my own issue as to what to give.

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 18
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think this might also be a regional or cultural thing.

At weddings in my culture/city,of the big fat Italian variety, we do not give something from the registry at all. That is what the bridal shower is for.

$200 is about right Meghan! It is customary to cover the cost of your meal and open bar. $100 per is about what the going rate is for a wedding in my area with an open bar, and that is in the lower end of the spectrum. The gift increases if it is a special relative or a Godchild.

In 1982, when I was married the first time, the average gift we received was $50 per person. We even received that type of gift from our friends who just graduated college. It's just what we do.

Married: 05/07/2011
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@DDDRosie I've been lead to believe that if you are having an open bar you don't include that on the invite but if you are having a cash bar you should put that on your invites.

The price of gifts I give are based on per couple. (I don't know if that makes it seem more reasonable) I figure 200 would cover each plate and drinks then it gives the couple alittle extra for them.

Oh So
Married: 06/05/2011
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Agreed, $200 is a lot. Most I've ever given was 70. Good friend of mine. I'm having an issue with this right now:
http://www.weddingwire.com/wedding-forums/not-so-happy-with-our-registry-help-please/a26f9d1ddfa8b90f.html
tell me what you think!

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 18
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
DDDRosie....I have always known whether or not there was an open bar before I have attended a wedding. If there was a cash bar, it is usually listed on the reception invite card.

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 18
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
SoontobeMrs.Lauzon....lolol....Do you have big fat Italian weddings too? We seem to be the only ladies who think this is normal. : )

No offense or judgment is meant to anyone who doesn't give as I do. I guess it is a cultural thing.

Married: 06/18/2011
Reviews: 5
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Carole B- I totally agree with you. It truly is a culture/city thing. Where I live now is totally different than where I spent my whole life when it comes to gifts. I'm now surrounded by a lot of people from different cultures. AND with all the weddings I've heard about it has always been customary to cover what it would cost to invite you as a guest. I learned that real quick.

Married: 05/07/2011
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:33 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Carole...I wish I was. I love Italian food soo much I swear I should have been. I'm actually getting married in an Italian club.

Most of my views on the wedding come from my mother who came from her mother and so on. I'm pretty sure most of our background is french and English.

Amy
Married: 2+ years ago
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:34 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH and I always give $100 check. It was a burden last year when we had 4 weddings in 2 months, but figuring what they're spending on our meals/alcohol I figure it's the least we can do! We would probably do more of the $200 range to cover each of our meals, but as I've been in grad school the past 2 years we're going solely off his income.

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 18
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Kelly....I seriously have never known any other way.

Married: 05/15/2011
Reviews: 1
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I hadn't thought about the cash bar part being listed on the reception part.

Married: 05/07/2011
Reviews: 6
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:44 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I should mention that no alcohol was served at any of the weddings I've been to. And they all cost $5k-6K with about 70-100 people in attendance on average.

Married: 10/01/2011
Reviews: 18
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Soon to be.....lolol....Maybe, it is a European tradition then. :)

The ettiquette queens say there is no steadfast rule, and one doesn't need to cover the cost of the meal, or consider a wedding gift a ticket of admission. However, the major consensus is when in Rome....(Italian pun intended.)

What would I do if finances were tight? If I totally couldn't do it, I would simply not go, and send a less generous gift in a card via the mail. I have also once did half and half...cash and something from the registry, which I would have delivered to the house. However, I have to say that only happened when I was in my 20's, and my ex was in grad school.

Actually, it is a common joke amongst friends. We all have kids the same age, and they will wind up getting married the same time. Ouch!

Edited On: Mar 16, 2011 at 8:46 PM

girl
Married: 06/10/2011
Reviews: 7
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:46 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree with Soon to be Mrs. Lauzon and Carole B., when I was single, which was many years ago I always gave 100.00, now when we go as a couple we give $200.00, I was always taught to cover you plate and then some. Yes, I am, French Canadian, English, Irish, and Italian.lol

Married: 06/18/2011
Reviews: 5
Mar 16, 2011 at 8:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Carole- living where I do now I can't ever imagine not giving a gift that doesn't match what it would cost to have me and a guest. Now that I've been exposed to different cultures of weddings I can NEVER imagine giving a gift of less or basing any gift I would give off of the groom/bride income. I don't care if they are dirt poor or the richest people in the world- they took the time to think of wanting me there at their wedding on their special day- I honor them back with an appropriate gift.
Edited On: Mar 16, 2011 at 8:50 PM
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