For Those of You Paying for your own wedding.....
I have a question for you (and a situation) as well and I need your opinions!!

For those of you paying for your own wedding, are you and your fiance paying for everything 50/50? Or, if one of you makes more, is that person contributing more?

I ask because I'm in this situation (I make more than him), and he has more expenses than I do (rent, etc.) and I think that I'm going to have to contribute more than him. Logically, it makes sense that I contribute more, but I am also slightly irked by it sometimes. Am I being unreasonable? What are your situations?

And no judgements on anyone's situation please! I just want to know if anyone else is in this situation too.

Married: 07/16/2011
Posted On: Jun 14, 2010 at 5:17 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 2+ years ago
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:21 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
for us our wedding is being paid for with my tax return money from last year. He pays for little things here and there but I see it as its our money not mine and he supports our family so it evens out for me. I dont care who the money is coming from as long as we get married and things turn out nice thats all that matters to me

Married: 05/21/2010
Reviews: 15
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:22 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think that if you make more, it makes sense for you to contribute more. I'm a strong believer in "from each according to their ability." The only thing I would shy away from would be if he wanted something major that you didn't want, but still expected you to pay for the majority of it.


We mostly paid for our wedding with money from our parents, after they offered, and my husband's parents put in quite a bit more than mine. I'm pretty sure they're better able to afford it, although it's also the case that my parents are not as excited about weddings in general.


I do think people often instinctively shy away from a woman putting more money into something than her male partner, because we've been socialized to think that men should be providers. But in a case where the man doesn't have as many resources as the woman, that really doesn't make sense.

Bride2B
Married: 08/21/2010
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
this is mine :)
except my fh makes more then me..so he is contributing A LOT MORE. although these past two months he has had a rough time with work so i have been covering everythere :) it all evens out!

Sharon
Married: 06/04/2010
Reviews: 6
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Rick made more, so he contributed more. It's hard to get used to your money is his and vice versa. Remember, all money coming is truly "ours" not his or mine. This will become especially true when you are married and sharing living expense/bills etc. It just makes it more equitable that you each pay according to your income. Or you could look at it percentage wise? I actually ended up paying more when we calculated it as a percentage of my income rather than an actual dollar amount.

Sarah
Married: 09/23/2011
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My FH actually got a 2nd job to pay for our wedding which I think is really sweet. I am not able to do that because my job requires extensive travel so I can't do anything else. I will contribute what I can but I have significantly more expenses than him. I guess on the flip side I own my own home and he will move in there after the wedding so maybe that's my contribution :)

Sweetbella
Married: 02/19/2011
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My mom can;t afford to help to pay and my dad refused to pay when he makes 120k a year ugh. So I am paying for little things and my FS is in deployment until dec that we are using a lot of his deployment money for paying our wedding. He makes way more than I do.

Married: 10/03/2009
Reviews: 6
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:24 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Well, IMO from the point of engagement, you can basically look at it as if your household is already combined. In that way, the money is all coming from the same place. Perhaps you should evaluate yours and his bills and each commit to a set amount that you can contribute to the wedding fund.

Bride2B
Married: 08/21/2010
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
i meant everything**


money is always a tough talk and situation but try not to let it be. its just money :)

.
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 2
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am paying for all of my wedding. I currently make more than my FH and he will eventually make the same, but not until after we are married. My parents are helping as much as they can and his family as well, but I can bet you I am paying for 90% of everything. It gets a little frustrating b/c I still have to pay for my other expenses on top of the wedding stuff. *sigh*

Oh well, the show must go on!! :)

Married: 05/21/2011
Reviews: 5
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm in the same situation. I figure in the end it's all ours anyway. Plus, someday I'll be home with the kids (at least while they're young) and he'll be supporting us so it all evens out in the end.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:26 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
we paid for our entire wedding ourselves. DH literally makes about 5 times what I do so obviously he contributed way more than I did. There were some things that I refused to let him chip in on, like my dress, but for the most part we didn't even keep track of who paid for what. I remember that sometimes a payment would be due and I'd have the money and just take care of it, other times he would see it first and do it. It wasn't an issue either way for us. It can be an adjustment overall when one person makes a lot more than the other, but this is good practice for you to work out your joint finances! Good luck!

Married: 07/16/2011
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
It's just so hard to think of his and mine as "ours".....maybe because we're not living together yet??

Married: 06/04/2011
Reviews: 5
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:30 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My parents are being very generous and contributing what we think will be about 50% of our total spent so he is paying the other 50% or however much it ends up being after the amount my parents are paying. He makes a lot more than I do so it makes sense plus we already live together/share bills etc. and generally contribute equally percentage wise. He picks up big bills I do the small ones. For the most part we try to think of it as "our" money at this point :)

Married: 1+ year ago
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:31 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Even before FH and I were engaged, we were very much a "yours is mine" couple. I mean, we both had our own separate bank accounts, but we haven't kept track of that kind of stuff for a long time. We know how much we make, we know how much has to be paid, and we get it done. It doesn't matter who pays it in the end. We're planning on opening a joint account soon for things like groceries, utilities, and wedding stuff. But really, sometimes we'll go out to dinner and I pay, sometimes he does. Sometimes he'll give me shopping money, sometimes I'll use my own. It all evens out and we're happy.

Married: 05/15/2009
Reviews: 7
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:32 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
yeah that might make it harder july....I still have a hard time completely thinking of money as "OURS", more that I don't feel I have a total right to all of "his" money and we've been living together for 3 years. But I know that before we moved in together I definitely couldn't have gotten the idea of no division of money. It really is tricky. You just have to be honest with yourself and with each other. It's important to sit down and really have a tough talk about each other's expectations on how the finances in the marriage will be handled

MelKel
Married: 05/23/2010
Reviews: 5
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
He used most of his $8k First Time Home Buyers Tax Credit to pay for our wedding.

Sweetbella
Married: 02/19/2011
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:41 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I am not living with mine until marriage July, I made a wedding account for my FS to transfer deployment money. You guys should make a wedding account for you guys to both access to it and decide who will pay for it or not.

Married: 07/02/2010
Reviews: 5
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:43 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Although my FH makes about 15k more than me, we are both contributing the same amount monthly into a joint account to pay for the wedding. I dont mind it though b/c his money is my money anyways :)

Married: 07/17/2010
Reviews: 6
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:48 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I make more and have put more towards the wedding.

Married: 10/16/2011
Reviews: 11
Jun 14, 2010 at 5:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
We are paying for the whole wedding ourselves. We don't have a "his"money "my money" situation. It all goes in one account and we pay for everything out of that.
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