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Sorry you are feeling this way, have you sat down and talked to both of them and explained your feeelings? Maybe your FH doesn't want to plan anything because he feels like you won't like what he picks, and mom's just get that way. My mom seems to think that she knows exactly how to decorate everything, regardless of what I think and want. I just told her that I appreciate her help and what not, but I would really appreciate if she could not get upset when I tell her I don't like her ideas, as it is our day, not hers, and I want it to reflect what we like, not what she thinks we should have. Tell your mom you will put all her venue/people ideas in with the others you are considering, or if you don't like any of them or their work, just tell her you want them to enjoy the day and not have to work.

wow Jouselle, so sorry hon, but please take this as it is intended (in a good way), YOU needto step up and open your mouth. Until you do, I am afraid there isnothing anyone can do. Feelings might get hurt but trust me, they will get over it. This is YOUR wedding and you need to let your mom know this. As for your FH, I don't condone fighting but if he wants to be 'cranky' well then get cranky on his ass. I understand men aren't really involved in most of theplanning, brides will tell you this but to get nasty about it and shut you out is totally uncalled for. The time is now to let them all know how you feel Jouselle. Good Luck and Hugs!

Wow, that is really ruff. Have you talked to ur mom, she might not realizing she is stepping her bounds. If she doesn't back off, let her know its your wedding and she wants to plan on she can go have a wedding herself. Your guy is probably thinking about other things trying to stay out of the mother daughter things. lol I hope things get better for you.
jessica

And it never hurts to hit a bridal show or two snas FH and mom, and just some close friends, remember to tkae a camera! I went to the big bridal show in the city, my FH took the memory card out of my camera and never told me, So I had no room to take pictures, and my MOH camera had batteries that were dying, and mine wouldn't work in hers, so there were a lot of pictures that I didn't get to take.

Who's paying for the wedding? If it's your mom, then unfortunately she gets to do what she wants. If you don't like her ideas, then you and your FH should start saving up in order to pay for it yourselves. You can let your mom know that while you are very appreciative of her help, but this is YOUR wedding and you want your wedding to be the way YOU envisioned it. My parents paid for my wedding, but I still had to have these talks with my mom every once in a while when things started to get out of control... Good luck! Do you have some friends or female family members that you can do this stuff with?

sans FH and mom and take just close friends BP*

Oh crap, yadayada is right, I forgot about that, if she is finacing this wedding, then she has say :(

At least I've got the coin in my corner. lol The hard thing is I live close to my mom and, my girlfriends are all far away... I totally wanna hit a bridal show! Another thing I should prolly note, my mother's been in the wedding industry for about a decade now, which adds the the all-knowingness. But you're right, I gotta speak up more. I know my sweetie's not trying to be mean. He just doesn't know what to do with it really. Wow, thanks you guys for responding!

Just because your parents are paying for your wedding, doesn't mean they get to run the show. They had their wedding years ago, now it's your turn. If they choose to give you the GIFT of paying for part or all of your wedding, they need to view it as a gift. And gifts do not come with strings attached. Sure, they get to have SOME say in things, but your mom shouldn't be the one picking out everything and planning all the details.

Oh ok Jouselle,just tellyour FH that you don't mind basically doing the planning, most of us brides do it, lol, but here and there you would just like his opinion on this or that. I did all the planning, I would say to Bob, you like this or that, he would tell me so that is what I chose, lol, I gave him chocies and all he had to do was pick. Your mom probably has her heart in the right place but let her know you will take her ideas into consideration along with what YOU have chosen :)

I see, so guys respond better to multiple choice? ^.^ I think I can figure this out! Any other suggestions are graciously appreciated.

wow, i totally understand. my mom thought it was her wedding. and my sisters were conspiring with her, to do whatever she wanted. i even had one sister call my coordinator without my knowledge in order to change my reception. omg. it was bad. in the end though, i got what i wanted. but it was very unpleasant and i realized truly how self centered and selfish the females in my family were. it made me quite sad, but still i'm glad i was fortunate enough to marry the love of my life who treats me very well and one day, i will be a better mom to my kids......you should be able to pick your food, wedding date, dress sheesh!!! but get this---it may actually save you lots of money to use connections and referrals for your vendors: the florist, photographer, makeup, hair, and transportation because it all adds up. the money you save could be for your dream honeymoon, your dream house, your dream car even... good luck and much happiness to you, jouselle.

Jouselle, I think they do, give them a few of your favs to look at, that way, no matter what he picks, you'll like it, lol.

Show him your 2 favorites of whatever, can't go wrong :)

im having the same prob. Just sit down and have 2 of your favs for both mom and your man and say pick. that your mom gets her idea in and so does he.

As a wedding planner, i tell my brides that it is your day! your wedding should repersent the likes of you hand your soon-to-be husband... not your parents or your inlaws... If you need to, have someone else tell your mom to BACK OFF but don't exclude her compleatly. Tell her you are going to plan it and that you will give her jobs to do. Give her something that will keep her busy like puting together a guest gift or somehitng you wont care about too much.

Also don't have your family and close friends work your wedding. They are to enjoy the day just like you. Too many times do Aunts get stuck in the kitchen. That doesnt mean they can't help setting up but during the wedding and the reception, your guests should be guests!!!

My FMIl would be the same as how your mom is. Except for the fact that we haven't told her when we are getting married. And she is the same way except that she is a wedding planner on the side. You have to speak up and let her know what the deal is. And that this is your day and you can pick your own things. Let her know that you will decide what you get and if you need her input that you will ask. Maybe not in that way! I am a very outspoken person. So normally I say thingd to people without thinking about it. But you get what I am saying. There is no way to beat around the bush

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