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have a good rest, maybe take picture 1 month later

I'm sorry to hear about your grandfather. I use bausch and lomb allergy eye drops to get rid of red puffy eyes. It's over the counter and you can pick it up in the contact lense section.
I hope things get better for you.

My sympathies to you first of all. Depending on what your beliefs are perhaps when taking the photos you can just think about your grandfather smiling down on you two. Personally I always believe those who have past are still with us and it gives me peace in hard times. For red puffy eyes try a cold cloth over your eyes and rest another thing is if you have some eye cream put it in the fridge and when you put it on in the morning it will help with reduce puffiness because its cold and soakes in. Another thing you can try is a cold tea bag thats been soaked in water. I usually dip it in hot water then leave it on a paper towel till it cools down and most of the water has escaped it then put it over your eyes it helps get rid of redness and can help with the swelling as well

Oh honey, so sorry to hear about your grandpa! My thoughts and prayers to you and your family at this difficult time. We had a huge scare with my grandpa a couple wks ago (pretty serious stroke), but I can still only imagine what you are going through. He will be looking down on you making sure you have the most perfect day! As for the red eyes, I would just say rest is the best and maybe wait for the pics if you can spare the time.
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On another note, We're getting married on the same day!!! You're the first bride I've seen w/the same date, congrats :)

Thanks for all of the ideas! I have been resting today, and they seem to not be as puffy as earlier. Tomorrow I will try the cool lotion... after a night of rest and crying they always get bigger, HA! Just what I need! Thanks for the kind words and the prayers are appreciated!