Don't know how much to " donate" the church is very small
I am having the hardest time figure this out so I am hoping someone can help me. The church we are getting married at is very small, literally 11 people attend the church. Well when we get married we are not paying the pastor, it goes to the church so my problem is with it being a small church and everything I am not sure about how much we should "donate" I was thinking like $75 or so but then my FH thinks more like $50.

mrs.flowers
Married: 04/24/2010
Posted On: Apr 14, 2010 at 9:22 AM • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 10/09/2010
Reviews: 6
Apr 14, 2010 at 9:26 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I would do the $75 and a nice thank you card. Our church is a little bit bigger and I'm debating wheather to donate $150.00 or to do $100.00 and a gift card for the Pastor and his wife to enjoy a nice meal. They are also invited to the wedding and rehearsal dinner.

mrs.flowers
Married: 04/24/2010
Apr 14, 2010 at 9:28 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Oh that's a great idea! I was going to put the money in a like little thank you card but I may steal your idea and get them a gift card to a resturant too lol

Married: 10/09/2010
Reviews: 6
Apr 14, 2010 at 9:40 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I feel that they should get something for all the hard work they are putting in for the wedding. This way they get to enjoy the romance after the wedding ;)

Married: 09/04/2010
Reviews: 3
Apr 14, 2010 at 9:41 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Typically, my church request 7-10% of the total wedding budget - including the dress.

ladylee
Married: 06/05/2010
Apr 14, 2010 at 9:43 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Why does the size of the church dictate the amount of the donation?

When deciding on the amount of your donation, bear in mind that when they open up the church for your wedding, they are using lights/heat/air, your guests will likely use the restroom and use their products/water. The minister will wear a suit or robe that needs to be dry-cleaned. Someone will have to come in and clean/tidy up after your wedding. Churches don't get any breaks on their expenses. Just food for thought.

Married: 05/07/2011
Apr 14, 2010 at 9:45 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Is this a church you have any connection to other than the fact that you are getting married there? We are donating over $1,000 for the church, and I personally wouldn't have it any other way. It was really important to me that we don't save money by cutting our donation, becuase at the end of the day the ceremony is what the whole thing is about...the other is just a party. I simply couldn't wrap my mind around a very small donation when we are paying so much more for the party. Also, if it's a very small church...they may be more in need of the money for upkeep and such.

In the end I think the donation is a very personal decision...but I encorage you to think about it less as a per person expense and more as a donation to keep the church running and to help in paying the pastor's wages etc.

ladylee
Married: 06/05/2010
Apr 14, 2010 at 9:47 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Say what now? A percentage of the wedding budget? I have never heard of that. I think they should have a set "fee" and call it a day.

mrs.flowers
Married: 04/24/2010
Apr 14, 2010 at 9:52 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I agree I have never heard of that either, I have just heard that churches normally about the size of what we are getting married at it around what I posted, I don't have like $1,000 anyway so I couldn't give that large of an amount to a church. I think what I have posted is reasonable, that is why the size of church matters because if I was getting married at a large church I would donate more for having it there and using the lights and stuff like that.

Married: 05/07/2011
Apr 14, 2010 at 10:00 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
wow, i didn't mean to imply you needed to donate that amount...but for me it was an important thing to do. For me it didn't make sense to spend thousands on the party, and not the church. For me it had nothing to do with the size of the church and the amount of money it costs them to have the lights on and the priest's time. It's about the fact that the whole point of the day is my getting married, which I do in the ceremony. I am a member of the church where I am getting married and I plan to continue as a member...I regularly donate to the church. I personally could not imagine spending less on the church donation than I'm spending on food and booze for a few guests.

But like I said, it's a personal decision.

mrs.flowers
Married: 04/24/2010
Apr 14, 2010 at 10:15 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
That's great and everything but I am not a member or this church, the pastor is wearing his normal clothes that he would wear on sunday, and we will only be at the church for about an hour and it will be in the middle of the day and the church has huge open windows so we would not be using any of their lights or anything else that belongs to the church so I think i'm going to go initially with the $75 and a gift card or something for him and his wife as a thank you.

Married: 05/15/2010
Apr 14, 2010 at 10:35 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Everyone is different in what they want to donate...talk to the church's secretary as they may be able to advise you what the "usual" donation is...at our church they gave us a suggested amount of $100 for the church and $100 for our priest...I know once church we looked at was over $1000 and you had to give a deposit and I didn't like that because a donation is just that....a donation not a absolute amount!

Married: 08/13/2010
Reviews: 3
Apr 14, 2010 at 10:55 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
to be honest, i think thats really low. to me, a real donation should be more than what you would tithe, (if you go to church and tithe) for people who tithe every sunday, they give 10% of that weeks salary... but i think even a small church should have a bigger donation. fh and i are giving about $300 to the church were getting married at because its a small congregation and the pastor was nice enough to let us use the church, decorate, and he's not even the one marrying us! im not saying you need a donation that big, but i definitely think more then $50.

Married: 06/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Apr 14, 2010 at 11:05 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
my church isnt charging to marry us either ... we are not members but I have gone there off and on for many years my mom is a member and so is a really close family friend of mine. the pastor said he would waive thethe fee for us because my mom is a member. this saving us alot of money so we are going to to donate 200.00 to the church for what ever tehy choose to use it for. it's not a big church either but I feel it's a nice thing to do since he isnt charging us and most places will cost you much more to use there faclities!

Married: 06/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Apr 14, 2010 at 11:06 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I like the gift card idea for the pastor too thats a nice idea!

Married: 05/15/2010
Apr 14, 2010 at 11:24 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I think a nice written card with a donation is a great idea...and gift card is also great! I think that honestly whatever you do for a donation should be your choice and it's not good or bad...do what feels right for you.

D&N
Married: 07/24/2010
Reviews: 5
Apr 14, 2010 at 11:30 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
tithing is 10% of your paycheck. just FYI

Married: 06/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Apr 14, 2010 at 11:40 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Brandy B is right ... it's a donation it's not the same thing as a tithing! it's how much you feel like giving..small or large!

Married: 05/15/2010
Apr 14, 2010 at 11:48 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
@Brandy H...love your name!


Married: 09/04/2010
Reviews: 3
Apr 14, 2010 at 12:37 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
While I do agree that your donation is your business and there is no "right" or "wrong" - I think that people are incorrect in assuming that you are not using church resources for your ceremony. Almost every church will use electricty (having windows make no difference), water, air or heating, the time of the celebrant, the bathrooms, someone to clean before and/or after, and candles. The list could grow from there. These are things that the members of the church pay for with their regular donations to the church.

I think about the resources being used when making a donation decision. How much will my invitation only event cost the church and its members (who are not invitited)?


Married: 07/31/2010
Reviews: 5
Apr 14, 2010 at 3:25 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Donate what you feel is right.
We are not members of the church we're getting married at, however they have been kind enough to let us personalize so much for us and make time. Thier standard fee (which includes custodial and the organist also) is $650, so we'll be adding in an additional $550 donation, as we had budgeted $1200 for the church anyway. But that's just how we figured ours out.
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