Do you have to have a Rehearsal Dinner?
We are paying for the entire wedding out of our pocket. What exactly is a rehearsal dinner and do we really need to do it? I know we have to rehearse but paying for another dinner is a bit out of our budget.

Married: 04/25/2009
Posted On: Jul 23, 2008 at 9:51 AM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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Married: 07/06/2007
Reviews: 5
Jul 23, 2008 at 10:50 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I wouldn't say that its mandatory in that you need to provide a full course meal, but if your going to have rehersal around dinner time, its only a good courtesy that you give them something to eat. It doesn't need to be extravagant, maybe pizza or some sandwiches. You'll want the full cooperation of your wedding party at the rehersal, and a full tummy or atleast a partially full tummy will definately help.

Married: 08/15/2009
Jul 23, 2008 at 11:27 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I've been to a rehersal dinner where there was just pizza served. Someone else also gave me the idea of a picnic type rehersal dinner where everyone brings something. All my bridesmaids said they really liked that idea and would bring things. We haven't decided that we would definitely do thatbut since we are getting married in August and would have to pay for the as well, we are thinking about it. Picnics are fun and bringing one thing is hardly asking alot. You would know the people in your party best to know if they would mind being asked to help.

Married: 09/06/2009
Reviews: 8
Jul 23, 2008 at 2:35 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
When I was a BM in a friend's wedding, they had a 2-hour rehearsal from 6-8pm, and didn't have a dinner, and everyone was starving afterwards but were left to our own devices in a city we had never been to before. That is rude...

When my best friend got married, they had a modest BBQ after their rehearsal (the best man did the BBQ'ing, so the couple could be with their bridal party). It was simple and cost them less than $100 to feed BBQ chicken, baked beans, hot dogs, salad, and drinks to a group of ten.

So, it is not necessary to have a dinner, but I think a gesture would be nice and well-appreciated, even if it is just appetizers or something low-key. I am planning on having a rehearsal lunch, which will save us money.

Married: 10/17/2009
Reviews: 6
Jul 24, 2008 at 11:38 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We're also paying for our wedding but my fiance's parents are still going to pay for the rehearsal dinner. I really do think you need to plan to have some sort of meal - brunch, lunch or dinner - your guests gave you their time to rehearse with you, so it'd be rude not to feed them. If nothing else, how bout a pot luck dinner? Everyone can bring something, even if it's at someone's home and it won't cost you too much. It'll also hopefully allow everyone to be a little more relaxed.
Jul 24, 2008 at 11:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
maybe what you can do is have your family and bridal party at your house for light apps and drinks. This makes them feel special that they are part of your day. This is also a great time to give them their gifts for being in the wedding.

Married: 06/13/2008
Reviews: 6
Jul 25, 2008 at 11:51 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
We too paid for our own wedding and having the rehearsal dinner was great, it was costly, because we invited over 50 ppl, due to out of town guests, its the proper etiquette, however you can opt to do the rehearsal at church and have appetizers and beers at your place instead of a restaurant to save money, the rehearsal is sort of the time when the two families get together on a more personal level to interact before the wedding. Good luck.

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Jul 30, 2008 at 12:07 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
Congrats from Premier Wedding Planning, First of all I understand you totally. Suggestion: Ask your maid of honor and brides maids to bring a covered dish. This will make everyone feel as if they contributed. Trust me it works! Your not the first or the last couple who thought that this was just NOT necessary. It really isn't, it is just another party celebrating the celebration of your big day! This is all designed for you to make you feel like a Queen for a day or two... so if your not wanting to pay for a rehearsal dinner it is perfectly fine not to have one. Nothing is more important than your big day!!!! www.premierweddingplanning.net

Married: 08/09/2008
Jul 31, 2008 at 3:13 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I have to respectfully disagree with asking your attendants to bring dishes for your RD. They're already doing so much, and the RD really should be an acknowledgment and celebration for them (as well as friends and family and you two!). I second the posters that suggest a very casual dinner like pizza or light apps and beverages at your place. One final thought: Have your rehearsal at a time of day when a meal wouldn't be expected (1 or 2 PM?) and then just have sodas/punch/store bought cupcakes available afterward.
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