Dad Vs. Step Dad.. Ready Set Fight!
So, I wanted my dad and step dad to both walk me down the isle because they have both dome so much for me. My dad said absolutely not, and he would not walk me down the isle if my step dad was as well. So then I decided that I would have a father daughter song and a bride/step dad song and my dad still said absolutely not because a father lives for this moment and all that good stuff. Then I said how about my dad walks me down the isle and when it's time to give me away my mom and step dad could stand up as well so they all can. He said my mom could but not my step dad. this is so hard. I mean I can see where he's coming from, but my stepdad is paying for the wedding, college, let me live in his house and paid for all of my car troubles. He's taken care of me. So my mom and I said we could think of something else special to do at the wedding with my stepdad.. we just don't know exactly what. Anyone have any ideas? I need help.

Married: 07/24/2011
Posted On: Sep 25, 2010 at 12:48 PM • Vendors are allowed • Add to My WatchlistFlag As Inappropriate1 like

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FMS, the barefoot wife!
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 10
Sep 25, 2010 at 12:55 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I good ole heart to heart with your dad. Tell him you love him and understand where he is coming from, and you appreciate everything that he does for you, but it's important to YOU to include your step dad. It's not because you think one is better than the other, it's because they both are important to you. And I would leave out the money your stepdad is putting out for you, it would ad insult to injury to your dad.

FMS, the barefoot wife!
Married: 2+ years ago
Reviews: 10
Sep 25, 2010 at 12:56 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I hope he understand and will compromise. Sorry you're going through this.

Married: 12/12/2011
Reviews: 6
Sep 25, 2010 at 12:57 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Honestly, it's YOUR wedding. If YOU want them both to walk you - then say that to your dad. If your dad says he refuses to walk WITH your step dad for that moment for YOU, then all his argument about him "living for this moment" makes no sense, huh? He's just being stubborn. I can see why you'd want your step dad there, so you should tell your dad that it's how you want it! At least that's what I would do!!

Married: 12/19/2010
Reviews: 5
Sep 25, 2010 at 1:11 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
If he is being this immature than you might just have to sit him down remind him this is your wedding and you want your step-dad to be a part of the wedding too. If he continues to act this way you may just have to have your stepdad walk you down the isle alone. I hope your dad isn't so petty though.

Married: 11/13/2010
Reviews: 1
Sep 25, 2010 at 1:29 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Have you considered having your StepDad walk you halfway and then your Father meeting you there and taking over from there? As a Mother, I understand your Dad's feelings but I can also understand where you are coming from and feel that you wanting your StepDad to be included and honored shows that he played an important part in your life. I have already been thru this exact situation with my oldest daughter and her StepMom. It is very difficult on parents to share what we feel is our right but I had to put my feelings aside and put a big smile on my face and act as if my heart were not being shattered in a million pieces. I hope your Dad is able to do the same thing. I would suggest not doing a bride/stepdad dance. Let your Dad have something that is only his. It will help him cope better. Just my opinion.

Wedding: 09/07/2014
Sep 25, 2010 at 1:47 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
give it some time and ask him again closer to the wedding. its ur day and after everything they have both done for u he should respect ur opinion esp. on ur wedding day!!
Sep 25, 2010 at 2:01 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Like Britt's mom said, I shot a wedding where the step dad walked the bride in part of the way, then the father took over from that point. It worked well for them.

Married: 09/02/2011
Sep 26, 2010 at 2:29 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
It sounds to me that your dad (please dont take offense to this) is being a little selfish. I was in your same position, my step dad (i hate even saying that) has raised me, and my bio father, has been there, but not really as a dad figure. My step dad was perfectly fine with everything, and i thought my bio would be totally against it, but he wasnt. I told him that I love both of them equally, and in different ways, but it does not make him any less my father just by having him and sd walk me down the aisle. Maybe thats what you should try to talk to him about. Because, it is your wedding. Not his.

Married: 05/28/2011
Sep 26, 2010 at 9:52 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm in the same position but slightly opposite. I wanted my dad and stepdad to both walk me down the aisle but my stepdad is having a huge fit! I was really angry just when I heard he was saying anything about it, because it's my wedding not his. His other 2 daughters didn't have him even in their wedding and now it's his opportunity and he's spoiling it by putting a bad taste in my mouth. My mom says she doesn't care and my dad doesn't mind either. My mom suggested letting my dad walk me half way then my stepdad taking over and just letting my dad walk behind us the rest of the way, but I don't like the idea of either letting someone walk behind me or being left halfway in down the aisle, almost feels as if I'm leaving someone behind. I didn't think it would be such a big deal honestly.

I Yee Yee
Married: 07/15/2011
Sep 26, 2010 at 10:44 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
If it's your STEP-dad whose done all of the things you listed, and your biological dad hasn't stepped up, I think it would be a slap in the face NOT to recognize EVERYTHING your step-dad has done for you. I get what your dad is saying. (My dad is saying the same.) However, it's been my step-dad whose always been there for me, etc. I sure as heck am going to have my entire family (parents and step-parents.) give me away. I'm not sure if my dad will be walking me down the isle. As for dances, I'll let him have his father-daughter, but I'd like a step father song as well. My step-dad's done too much for me NOT to honor him and my biological father has done too little for me to respect his every wish!


Good Luck!!!

RBF Photography

RBF Photography
Sep 26, 2010 at 11:06 AM • Flag As Inappropriate
I don't know what your plans are for the ceremony itself, but for my wedding, we got married on the beach. My step dad has been around for years and helped to raise me so I felt that he needed to have some part in the ceremony. If you have this option, it worked out quite nice for me....my mom and dad both walked me down the aisle, my step dad got his notary and performed the ceremony (we wrote the ceremony and vows for him to read) and my mother-in-law got to do the toast...this way everyone had an important role in the wedding, and no one's toes got stepped on...I know how hard it can be to accomodate everyone. I hope this helps!

Married: 02/17/2013
Sep 26, 2010 at 1:23 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
im having the same issue but its my father vs my mom's brother whos been there for me, I was gonna do the half way march but i decided this week that my father has not earned the right to give me away simple

Meghan
Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Sep 26, 2010 at 1:32 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Tell him to grow up! That man has done as much for you in your life as a biological father would. Your father has shared the duties of raising you, he can share the moment of walking you down the aisle, etc. Your step dad has gone well above and beyond the expectations of him- and he deserves some credit.

Tell your father you wished he wouldn't be so petty and do what's in YOUR best interest for your big day.

Wedding: 06/20/2015
Sep 26, 2010 at 5:59 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
I'm sorry guys, don't hate me, but I have a difference of opinion!!! I think that (most) dads look forward to this moment when they have to give there little girl away. I don't have a stepfather, but if I did, he would, in no way, get to take this moment away from my dad. Maybe your dad didn't have the means to help out financially like your stepdad did, but that doesnt mean he doesnt love you any less. I know that if my FS and I got a divorce, and my daughter was getting married, I would be devastated if the stepmom got to walk down the isle with her or whatever else MOTB gets to do! just my own opinion, i would honor your step-father in some other way.

starlette7886
Married: 12/03/2011
Sep 26, 2010 at 6:45 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
As much as I understand that a father looks forward to this moment, Dawn's step-father has obviously been a DAD he didn't have to be to her, and her FATHER is being rather selfish in my eyes. Any man can FATHER a child; it takes a special man to step up and be a DAD to someone. The same holds true for the distinction between a MOTHER and MOM.
Thus the reason they are called step parents, because often times they step up and are the parents that they don't have to be. Trust me when I say I know allllll about that issue.
Soda: Not to be rude, but unless you have been in the shoes of a child that is the product of a broken home with parents who have remarried, you really have no right to opinionate yourself on this issue. It's obvious you have no clue as to what it's like to have to go through an issue like this. (cont)

starlette7886
Married: 12/03/2011
Sep 26, 2010 at 6:49 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
You sharing your opinion you would get pissed if your daughter chose to include her step-mother in on MOTB activities shows your lack of understanding of broken homes as well. You obviously don't know what it's like to have to come crying to a woman who has stepped up to be a MOM to you because your MOTHER has abused you your entire life and you have no other woman in your life to turn to who loves you and cares for you the way a MOM should. You also obviously don't understand the concept of having to include people in on things who have stepped up to be there for you as much (if not MORE) than your birth parents have, and in a shorter amount of time.
I don't mean to hijack, but because of my background and personal history, I have a very, VERY formed opinion on step-parents and their place in a wedding.

Meghan
Married: 08/20/2011
Reviews: 3
Sep 26, 2010 at 7:01 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
My parents are still together, so I can't relate to being the child. But I have seen what FH has done for my children. Their father is far from a deadbeat, and in fact, my children live with him. But FH acts like their father as well. He has taken off work to go to school plays, has been overwhelmingly supportive of them in every way.
I am learning what step-parents give up for their step children. They make the same sacrifices- the only difference is DNA. But how fortunate is a child who has 4 loving and suportive parents in their life!

Married: 10/09/2010
Sep 26, 2010 at 7:12 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
Personally... in my opinon...
anyone who makes you choose between something (in this case ur dad making u choose between him or ur step dad with no comprimising) gets the boot for me.. People who really love me and care about me would NEVER make me choose!

starlette7886
Married: 12/03/2011
Sep 26, 2010 at 7:16 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
C'mon Sara! Preach it girlie! lol

Married: 12/12/2011
Sep 27, 2010 at 6:53 PM • Flag As Inappropriate
There is a song written especially for a stepfather who has been so important in your life. "When I Needed You Most" is available at www.weddingmusiccentral.com. Perhaps you could have a dance with your dad and then use this song for a dance later with your stepfather to honor him.
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