Civil wedding before "big" wedding?

Some may do it for financial reasons, like getting on their spouses insurance? Idk. In good consciousness, I couldn't and still have a full wedding. To me it wouldn't be the same.

FH has really great insurance through his company. If something big happened to me, I'd probably want to not wait to get on his insurance so we'd probably go thatroute if it worked out for us. I already feel married anyway, lol.

I did it because we were getting married in a different country and it was just easier legally to do it in Australia first then to try and sort out all the legal documents once we got to Mauritius.

I would've preferred to just have the 'One' wedding but enjoyed having two!

Thanks guys! Lolo, for DW out of country I could totally see why that would be a good idea!

I think some people do it when one is in the military for various reasons that I'm not 100% aware of, but it seems like to me there are quite a few that I see doing this that are also in the military.

Another reason I've heard is people just want to be married (maybe they have a child or something together already) and then they want to save up for the dream wedding.

My mom actually suggested us doing this when we found out our wedding was going to be over a very popular weekend in San Diego (Comic Con) and said we should get married in the courthouse on our date so it would still be celebrated as our anniversary date and then we would have the big celebration the following week. I vetoed that immediately though. I personally couldn't imagine doing that.

We thought about it. 1.) I might get deployed and wouldn't actually be here on the day of my wedding

2.) Insurance

3.) Because we are having a DW

Are we?Nope. No matter all the reasons I couldn't justify it. I get one wedding day and if I am going through all of this trouble/paying all of this money that will be my wedding day. Not a courthouse.

I'm moving to the US from canada with a K-1 visa. Once I eneter the US with the visa, we have 90 days to be legally married. Before getting the visa I have to go for an interview in another province. I found out one week ago that my interview is Aug 13. They don't give you much notice - it could have taken longer, it could have been sooner, they don't give you any idea until it happens. My family needs time to save for the wedding and we wanted the proper amount of time to plan it. Yes, we will be signing the papers months before our wedding, but to us, it's the Christian ceremony that will really join us together in marriage. Do I want to do it this way? It's not ideal, but you do what you can with what you have & you make it work.

And no, I could not have planned the wedding to be within the 90 days of entering. We're doing a full (but short) Christian ceremony with all of my friends and family there so that will be in April. I don't care how fast other people could plan a wedding. This is how we're doing it and we don't care about what anyone has to say

Mostly people don't like it when a couple does this, then lies to their guests/family, pretend they aren't already married, and then have a fake ceremony. Because lying is gross.

When a couple does it for insurance, or deployment, or whatever, and then invites guests to celebrate their marriage with a big party, doesn't lie about it, don't pretend it's the "real" wedding, most people won't care.

We are having a civil ceremony before leaving for our DW in the Dominican because it just cuts out all the red tape of getting married in another country... we will be legally married in Canada 10-12 weeks before the wedding... so that we have a marriage certificate to bring to Punta Cana. For us tho, the wedding day in the Dominican is the real day and that will be the one we celebrate forever... the civil ceremony is a technicality and neither of us are treating it like the real thing.

I think the big thing that a lot of people don't understand is that there is a huge difference for some people between a civil ceremony and a religious ceremony. If someone already had a civil ceremony, they might not think/feel that they are really married if it wasn't in a church, synagogue, temple etc. Catholics, for instance, don't think anyone is truly married unless it's in the Catholic Church.

The reasons for getting married ahead of time were already addressed -- health/dental insurance, military reasons, destination weddings etc. But even after a civil ceremony, a lot of religious people may still want to have a church wedding.

Well i got married 4 years and two days ago. We got married at the courthouse. Do i regret it Nope. Will I do it all over again Yup. Either way it goes Im married and nothing gonna change that. It dont matter how I got married the thing is I am. Now however I will be renewing my vows next year. Am I looking forward to it Yup. Am I doing everything I want to do Yup.

I got married because I couldnt afford what i wanted at that time. So now I can afford what I want. I will be able to have the main ppl that matter most to us attend. Did we keep it from ppl that we got married... Nope. No reason to even give reason y we did what we did. Like I said we still married and happy.

Every couple I have done this for has had a damn good reason; insurance, mortgage rates , adoption, military status, visas, out of town wedding in a foreign country (if you're living in the US, a US issued license is just easier for many reasons...)

I am also in a state that has a three day waiting period; many of my couples who come here to get married can't both come a week ahead of time to get that accomplished.

The wedding celebration with the family is, for most of my couples, the 'real' ceremony. No one else has the right to call it lying or anything else.

FH mentioned that he was thinking we should do this- but I don't want to because when I get married I want it to be a ceremony with family & friends. We aren't going to do it but he had wanted to because of insurance purposes. I'll be without insurance when I quit my job right before the wedding & I can't get on his insurance until we are legally married. He's nervous about if something happens during that time frame around the wedding/honeymoon when I'm without insurance-I completely understand where he's coming from but getting married in a courthouse & then having a wedding/reception later isn't something that I want to/or can see myself doing.

We did this because we're having a DW in Mexico. He's a hemophiliac and Mexico requires blood tests. He didn't really care, but I wasn't comfortable with a foreign government shoving a needle into his arm and potentially putting him at risk. His condition is mild, so he only has to worry about internal bleeding, but that's exactly what I would worry about. He also changed jobs and while he was getting better insurance, my job offers cadillac insurance so it just made sense to do it this way. We already had our Mexico wedding planned and the majority of it paid for when we decided to do a civil wedding. And all our guests know.

On a side note, my old manager is from Mexico city and she specifically told me not to get married legally in her country because of bureaucratic issues if you need to obtain another copy of your marriage license later.

Would we rather have had one and done? Yes. But sometimes that's not how it works out. There is no one-size-fits-all when it comes to weddings or planning.

SunshineJenn, be careful posting this ... Michelle might try to go to Mexico for your wedding and demand a public records check. Haha :-D

My friends are doing it. They have been together for like 5 or 6 years now. They have a 9 month old and another one on the way. They were going to have a big wedding this summer, but couldn't justify the cost when they could be spending it on their daughter. Then in two years they are going to have the big wedding she always dreamed of.

Side note: I wish I was in Celia's area to have her be part of my day haha

My cousin had a ceremony with just her and her parents rather quickly because she didn't know if her dad (my uncle) would still be alive and wanted him there for the day and they couldn't pull off a big family thing because all of his family is from Michigan and all of her family is from Ohio and they are in North Carolina. So they had the ceremony and almost a year later they had the reception in Michigan with all of us and also had a "re-do" of the ceremony just to keep the feel. Thankfully he was also there for that one and is still alive, but that is one reason. If important family members may not be well.

I did this and I'm sooooo tired of hearing people think it's "so horrible!" Not saying that's what any of you are saying, it's just my experience. My story: we were already engaged and my husbands deployment got moved up and they didn't bother telling him till 5 days he was supposed to leave. We go on base one day on a Tuesday and they tell him, "you know you're leaving Monday morning right?" In my head I was like uhhhh no! So long story short I go and find a dress for $7 thanks to coupons haha and then I find my shoes on Wednesday and we got married civilly on Thursday! My dad, brother and one of my sisters were the only ones there with us. When it was done me and my husband went to sonic for lunch then drove to another base to get my paperwork done and then he drove me to school so I could take an exam! My mom and other sister were not here since they had gone on vacation and his parents nor sister could be here since they live 8 hrs away and it was all so last minute! We did this not only for the basic daily needs but because he was worried that if something were to happen to him or me while he was gone then he would want me to be secure in any way possible. Fast forward to now, he is on his second year long deployment and I just graduated from nursing school! So now we are finally planning our "big" wedding because we want all our family and friends to be there with us. Everyone knows we are married, obviously since it's been almost 3 years and everyone is perfectly fine and supportive of us. Those who are not can simply not go to our wedding. We are 100% a faithful and committed married couple but our dream has always been to have a church ceremony and reception with all the bells and whistles so that is what we're doing next year! We are celebrating us and everything we've gone through in the past 3 years! If our priest is perfectly fine with it and so is our family then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks